She's going away for a year

LegacyUser

Hey all,
Just want to throw this out there,

My OH is a few years younger than me and is heading off round the world for a year in the next few months. We have been together about a year. We get on so so well and having been in much longer relationships before I can honestly say this is different.... way different. We both want to make this work and I'm planning a trip or 2 to spend time with her along the way.
She is travelling with 1 of her best mates who, understandably, isn't keen on me coming too. They had this trip in the planning before I met my OH and the last thing I want to do is be negative about it. I think it's important to travel. I have myself.

So from experience, can it work out? Does it last? Even though I'm sure it will I'm still interested to hear ppl's experiences...

prinz

Do you have any reason to belive it wouldn't work out or last? . Not really sure of the issue here tbh. People have often been in relationships separated by distance over much longer periods with no hassle. I've been long distance from my OH for 3 years now. What is it that you are asking? can it last the distance, the time, the friend....??

LegacyUser

Guess I was wondering what others' experience of this are? I know it's going to be tough and when I tell my mates they look at me like I'm mad for "waiting" for her for so long. For me though, she's worth it...

I just wanted to know how other people dealt with it. I'm planning to take up more hobbies, concentrate on my career, make new friends etc.

prinz

I get that look all the time :pac: Go for it mate, if she's worth it, she's worth it! Maybe your friends just can't see it, but all that matters is that you see it. Hope it works out.

Barracudaincork

Dont look at it as a year apart look at it as the last year you get a chance to do whatever you like, while still being a couple, so no naughty business

You can for one year, leave wet towels on the bed, think cold pizza is a fantastic breakfast after a 10 hour session playing poker with your buddies, think the shower is a self cleaning device, not having to hid your p*rn collection, watch back to back episodes of top gear..........the list is endless!

Also if your going to go out and see her twice then, think of the hot nookie you will have when you see each other and it will all be worth it! You cant beat "its been ages" sex

Dont look at the negative side to the year, look at the positive side and then the bonus is after a cool year you get your girl back!

venividivici

its only a year!!! surely even apart from you visiting once or twice, you'll still be talking, texting, emailing, or whatever quite a bit!!
you won't even notice the time, plus you sound like your both very happy in the relationship so STOP worrying!!!

helimachoptor

Op, It wont work. I've yet to here of anyone who has had a partner go out there for 6 months or more and stay together. Just my own experience of it.
On the more phenomenal end of the scale, one guy i know got married and went to oz on his honeymoon. When him and his wife got back she decided she wanted to go back there for a year to work. He didnt she went, she's now banging someone over there while he's a broken mess of a man.

My OH is currently working abroad for the year. It is difficult, but not nearly as difficult as I expected. One major advantage for me is that I wasn't long out of another relationship when we got together, so I think this space is exactly what I needed. It's like being single without actually being single - I have loads of independence, live my own life, make loads of new friends, but I get to spend time with him every few months which is amazing. I just like knowing that I can be fine on my own (I actually moved abroad as well and had to find a job, house etc once I got there) and it feels like he is a great addition to my life without BEING my life. Like the last poster said, you get to do all those things the OH would moan about without having to listen to the moaning

Of course there are some huge downsides. The biggest is not being there for each other at times of stress, etc. I have some health issues and I'd feel much better if he was here to accompany me to the hospital, or sometimes I just want a hug after a long day. That is really tough, probably the hardest thing for me. The upside is when you do see each other, you appreciate it so much more. You don't have the taking each other for granted you get in most relationships. You don't argue over silly, petty things. If we last the year, I think we'll still remember how hard it was not being together and appreciate each other much more.

Definitely go for it, OP, it's doable and might even be beneficial!!

MGilly84

Sorry mate, your goosed! beg her not to leave. if she cared enough she'd prefer an opportunity to do the whole travel thing with you and not her buddy. However be warned you may not get the anwer you want!

Royale with Cheese

I did it before. Same position as you, I was the one staying at home. She left for 11 months, got back in the Summer of 2007 and we're still together... so it's possible.

Mr Benevolent

My gf went to Australia a month ago, I'll be going in two months. You get used to the distance.

annie19

i think it can work but there a few things that need to be said and many things that should not be said even if you feel like saying them.i also mean little hints as well.
i'm not being very clear. what i mean is, don't beg her to stay or even make her feel guilty. ur only young once and if she had it planned with her best buddie before you met each other, dont make her buddie feel three is a crowd! as u said urself, u have done some travelling so u know that it is a once in a lifetime chance, so dont spoil it. tell her that ull be waiting for her when she gets back, that ull miss her but that u know that the reward of waiting will make everything worthwhile and that u can see urselfs together for many yrs to come. if she is not scared by this, then its most likey that u will both be faithful and it will have a happy ending. and a drop by once or twice while she is travelling will break up the time, give u sumit to look forward to and as one of the lads said wonderful night time treats!!
in essence, let her be free and if its meant to be she will come back to you if you let her know how u feel and dont give her a hard time about jetting off! whats a few months out of a possible lifetime together?!

g5fd6ow0hseima

It didnt in Y Tu Mama Tambien.... there were great goodbyes, but that was is

wandiwar

Hi OP. I was in the same situation last year. Girlfriend went travelling for a year and I stayed here. It actually flew by and she is now back and things are great.

We skyped and mailed continously and I paid a visit to Sydney and hung out with them fo 2 weeks so that split the time away nicely (something to think about perhaps).

But yeah it works out in the end. If she wants to do it she may as well get it out of her system now than regretting not doing it in a few years. Anyway hope all goes well.

LegacyUser

Honestly, the secret is staying in touch. If you keep up the contact you won't drift apart. The time away from each other will show you just how strong your feelings are.

General Zod

Tell her to go and enjoy herself with her friend. You'll still be here when she gets back, if after her travelling she still wants a relationship with you then you're all good.

And of course, if you still want a relationship with her.

Whyno

Let the fish loose...Plenty more for you to catch...Shes goin ridin for the year...end of story