civil cermony this year/wedding "do" next year?

Smileygirl

Hi all!
I'm pretty sure ye will think I'm mad, but having just gotten engaged, my beloved and I want to get married as soon as the registrar can fit us in. Neither of us are particularly flush with money at the moment so we were thinking of having a civil ceremony with just our immediate families and go for dinner in a restaurant afterwards.

Ok, so that bit is straightforward enough, the "crazy" bit is that we would love to have a big party with our friends/extended families present, so were thinking of saving like heck for the next 18 months or so and having a blessing of some sort/humanist ceremony on the 1 year anniversary of our civil ceremony in a hotel with like a wedding "afters" after it. Would that be do-able?

All suggestions welcome!

seamus

It's do-able, but I would suggest that your drive to have the celebration will have diminished a lot in that first year and you might just consider it a big pile of hassle. That is, once the "newness" of being married starts to wear off, you might feel that any kind of ceremony a year down the road is meaningless and a big waste of time.

Is there any reason why you're in such a rush to get married? You should be able to rent out a room in a hotel and have finger food served for less than €2k. So maybe look at saving for 5 or 6 months (this is how long it'll take to get an appointment with the registrar anyway) and just throwing a low-key party for your friends and family? It doesn't have to be a lavish dinner or anything like that.

CathyMoran

While I think that it is a good idea in principle in practice it might be a lot more difficult. I had a tiny church service 2.5 years ago as I was very ill with the hope that we would have a big celebration after 5 years (hopefully) but now I see that is less likely, we are happily settled and married and I do see that our relatives would appreciate having another wedding when we are already married. We are renewing our vows at the end of the year but it will only be my husband and I and the priest at it.

bensoneb

Hi Smileygirl,

Go for it!!! It's commendable that you're not willing to put yourself into alot of debt right now and I don't see why you shouldn't have your '2' weddings, if you want. I really think it's a lovely idea.

I got married last August and it was the most wonderful day of my life. I'd love to be doing it all over again in a few weeks so you can see that my enthusiasm certainly hasn't waned. In fact, we both loved it so much that we're probably gonna do it again in different places we go to e.g. Las Vegas, etc.

Best of luck to you,:D

Jumpy

We are getting civilly married this year and having the wedding in August next year.
No problems with it I think its a good idea.

Smileygirl

Thanks for the replies guys n dolls.

Jumpy I'm delighted to hear of someone doing the same thing. It gives me hope that I'm not losing my marbles.

Thanks for the support bensoneb. I hate the idea of getting into debt so this plan makes sense to me. I just hope that, as seamus and Cathymoran suggest, my enthusiasm doesn't fade over the year. I don't think it would tho.

tatli_lokma

seamus wrote: »

Is there any reason why you're in such a rush to get married? You should be able to rent out a room in a hotel and have finger food served for less than €2k.

we had a sit down, formal 5 course meal for 42 people plus open toast for €1500, so €2k for finger food for a small group of people would be madness - for €2k you could have a 'traditional' wedding meal.

seamus wrote: »

So maybe look at saving for 5 or 6 months (this is how long it'll take to get an appointment with the registrar anyway)

it takes 3 mths to get a date from registrar -obviously certain times are booked up in advance, but we booked our wedding 14 wks later we were married.

look, its going to take minimum of 3 mths for the registrar - a wedding (and i mean a full works wedding) CAN be organised in this time, provided you are organised and don't faff around spending weeks deciding every little minute detail and getting stressed over it. If cost is an issue a wedding for 40 people with another 30 people to afters can be achieved for under €10 - don't put off your party in order have a huge day...as others have said your resolve can weaken and once you're married other things become a priority instead of a big party - you might have other places to spend the savings by then!

best of luck with whatever you decide, and do what makes you happy - just as I say, don't assume you can't have your party now - time constraints can be worked around and not all weddings have to cost the earth!

Congrats!