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Steaks

  • 10-07-2009 10:56am
    #1
    Fartmonger
    Closed Accounts Posts: 36 ✭


    Their sad eyes stare straight into my heart.
    Gentle beasts flocking by the gate.
    They cry out as I pass by,
    Begging me for freedom
    As they're led to death,
    Cruelly slaughtered.
    Steaks are quite
    Tasty
    Though.


Comments

  • #2
    busted flush
    Closed Accounts Posts: 722 ✭✭✭busted flush


    Fartmonger wrote: »
    Their sad eyes stare straight into my heart.
    Gentle beasts flocking by the gate.
    They cry out as I pass by,
    Begging me for freedom
    As they're led to death,
    Cruelly slaughtered.
    Steaks are quite
    Tasty
    Though.

    I felt this was very poorly written. I honestly did not feel any truth in it either. It was a mass of contradictions and not subtle ones either. Sorry if i have offended the author but this is my opinion.


  • #3
    Klingon Hamlet
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,747 ✭✭✭Klingon Hamlet


    Fartmonger wrote: »
    Their sad eyes stare straight into my heart.
    Gentle beasts flocking by the gate.
    They cry out as I pass by,
    Begging me for freedom
    As they're led to death,
    Cruelly slaughtered.
    Steaks are quite
    Tasty
    Though.

    I quite liked it! Made me smile and feel guilty all at the same time :)


  • #4
    davyjose
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,287 ✭✭✭davyjose


    busted flush wrote: »
    I felt this was very poorly written. I honestly did not feel any truth in it either. It was a mass of contradictions and not subtle ones either. Sorry if i have offended the author but this is my opinion.

    Busted, for someone that writes very polarising stuff, that was quite harsh. At least explain - contradictory? How? False? Why?

    I'm no expert on poetry, so please explain your criticism, rather than just criticise.


  • #5
    bakkiesbotha
    Closed Accounts Posts: 172 ✭✭bakkiesbotha


    Fartmonger wrote: »
    Their sad eyes stare straight into my heart.
    Gentle beasts flocking by the gate.
    They cry out as I pass by,
    Begging me for freedom
    As they're led to death,
    Cruelly slaughtered.
    Steaks are quite
    Tasty
    Though.

    Reading this logically, there can be no other meaning than that you are an ambivalent abattoir worker who is passing by some cattle in a pen that are about to be led to the slaughter.

    But if you were, you would know that steaks come from cattle, who neither flock nor cry.


  • #6
    shotcaller
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 69 ✭✭shotcaller


    Fartmonger.... Awesome name! :D

    Why the breaking up of the last sentence? Is it designed so that each line is shorter than the one before it?

    Anyone who has spent time around cattle knows they're not gentle at all! :P


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