Sick of behaviour

LegacyUser

my mother died in december (christmas day) and my dad has just had a stroke and is really really ill, so much so that hes on life support and it doesnt look too good

im with someone who is usually supportive and kind but all of a sudden hes off any chance he can get, any time i cry he'll do anything to stop me, so much so i cant cry comfortably around him and i suggested going on night away and now he cant coz hes wants to do something with his folks, i just think hes really insensitve, like times are really hard for me now and i had hoped for someone to talk to...so he recommended a concellor...i said i like talking to him...he said he doesnt want to have to go thru this twice (when his own parents die) other wise hes a nice fella and weve been together years but part of me says hes too self obsessed to care, i dont want to break up with him but i feel im being left to deal with all thats happened all on my own

I'lllearnye

I'm sorry to hear of what you're going through. I hope you're looking after yourself as well as your father.

Do you have anyone else to talk to besides your boyfriend? Or do you have brothers and sisters?

For your boyfriend to use his parents deaths as an excuse to not help you is a serious cop out. Of anyone, he should know exactly what you're going through. Unfortunately, you probably don't have the emotional resources to cope with arguing about it with him right now. Your best bet is to try another avenue for support, even counselling as your boyfriend suggested. Don't waste your energy on him, just concentrate on helping yourself get through this.

willy wonka

OP I am very sorry for your situation. My heart goes out to you after reading your post.

I think maybe speaking to a bereavement counsellor may not be a bad idea. Maybe your boyfriend just cannot handle the emotions and intensity of the situation. I know he's your boyfriend but some people just aren't good in this type of situations.

At least a counsellor will be trained to help you with your feelings.

LegacyUser

i just feel like my heart has been ripped out, im just heartbroken over my parents and its like a feeling of being set adrift and i dont know what to do with myself, its like me and my oh are growing apart, i was even thinking of going traveling on my own after dad passes to just try and breathe again but theres no escaping my thoughts, knowing me i wont go anywhere hes a good guy and i do love him but just feel so wound up, i do talk to my other sisters but they are dealing with it too and i dont want to be a burden

LegacyUser

I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through. It's just such a horrible horrible time.

I have a vague inkling of what you are feeling. I lost my granny in January, and before anyone jumps down my throat and says that's nothing like a parent, I realise that, but I was/am devastated.

All I wanted to do was escape everything, my home, my relationship, my life. I was picking holes in my relationship and in my OH's behaviour and driving myself around the bend.

So I do to a point understand how you feel.

I went for counselling and on medication, and it has really really helped. I am not saying this is the answer for you, but it has helped me no end, especially the counselling. The meds simply helped me stop crying for long enough to seek counselling.

Try explaining to your boyfriend that he doesn't need to say anything, but that if you cry it helps if he could just hold your hand or give you a cuddle.

I wish you all the best. This is a horrible time, but it does get better. I didn't think it would, but it has.

xx