Is there an answer to this??

LegacyUser

Ok, first thing I want to say is that I have NEVER cheated on my boyfriend. I love him to death.
I am 25 and we have together for 4 years, and we have had the marriage and kids chat as a long term plan. We are both happily heading in that direction. He is keen on marriage and kids, pulls my seat out, opens doors for me, is thoughtful, loving, attentive.....the holy grail of men. Plus he's hot. Things should be perfect in my head right?

In theory yes, but there have been a few occasions in the past few years where I have met guys on holidays when travelling by myself and I desperately want to sleep with them. But I can't because already at 25 I'm settled in a serious relationship. I can't throw away the holy grail of men because that would be insane and I love him.

But I desperately want to be a young girl in her 20's and have fun with other men if the mood strikes me. I feel like I met my match too early life, and I feel restricted at too early an age. I am worried there is a resentment building here that is totally not his fault. Its that I resent not having total freedom at this stage in my life. Part of me knows I am just wanting to have it all and that's not life, but I can't stop the trapped feeling.

Then there's the evil voice in my head saying, well he'd never know if you did. But I DO NOT want to be that girl. I saw what it did to my parents and I refuse to do it to someone I love.

Please tell me what you think. Be gentle! :-)

LegacyUser

The problem is he's too nice. I've seen it happen so much with women who have great guys. It seems to me the worse a guy treats a girl, the more he's appreciated. Whereas if he's too nice then he runs the risk of getting walked or cheated on.

LegacyUser

The idea of checking out if the grass is greener may sound exciting but the reality of it is, you will regret it, 100%. The way you speak about your man shows that no other man is going to match up, especially a random on holiday.

Don't do it, you will regret it for the rest of your life. Even if he didn't find out, you would have to carry that burden for the rest of your relationship.

omahaid

There is a simple answer, grow up and act like an adult. Either you love this guy and want to make a life with him (in that case you just have to accept and deal with your urges to head off with other men) or you should tell him how it is and break up. At least this way you have behaved like an adult and minimised the pain all round.

Nitxteha

When you are in love with somebody you don't feel like sleeping with anybody else (and not desperately as you said).

prinz

Like you I'm 25, been with my OH 4 years and getting married in a few months :eek:. But I have never 'depserately' wanted to sleep with anyone else... of course I see hot girls, and sometimes I wonder what if, what if I was single, how would my life be different etc etc, but I have never been that much after someone to say I desperately wanted to sleep with them, or even had the thought cross my mind. I've made up my mind who I want to spend my life with, seems to me like you haven't reached that decision yet. I would have to doubt the depth of your love and your commitment to this fella tbh. Your definitely not ready for anything close to marriage with that kind of attitude.

LegacyUser

OP here,

You know, it's funny the effect your own words can have on you when you read them back to yourself. I sound like a total eejit. And thanks to those telling me to be an adult, grow up, the grass is not greener, etc. Sound advise and its been taken on board.

Reading it back I realise that I basically want to be single and have a boyfirend at the same time. I need to get realistic and appreciate what I've got, cos its pretty damn good. If I had read that from another person's post I'd tell them to grow up and cop on.

I've always had a high sex drive and a fanciful mind so I'm not suprised I am looking around really, but I have never and will never cheat. He's the one, and in reality all others would surely be a disappointment compared to him.Thanks for responding. It brought me back to reality and that's where I'm staying.