Recession and Relationships

LegacyUser

I just want to vent a little here...

Do you think that any of our politicians or bankers have any idea how much strain all this constant negativity and recession and redundancies and threat of redundancies are having on peoples' relationships?

I know my OH and I have been stressed out completely now for about 8 months and the ever looming threat of redundo has finally come to fruition this week. I feel like going up to Brian Cowan and slapping him in his porky face. Nobody is going to make him bloody redundant, or if he doesn't get re-elected (which is not going to happen because they're never going to call a general election) he'll have a zillion yoyos in pensions and salaries and expenses. It just really pees me off.

I think we are strong enough to get through this, but the strain takes it's toll. I am tired of worrying. When is it all going to get better? We weren't one of these couples with loads of debts, we saved, we worked hard, we lived within our means, but here we are being punished because of banks irresponsibility.

The Recliner

If this thread turns into a rant about politics or politicians it will be locked

if there is abuse of politicians or bankers or name calling it will be locked and there will be bannings

discuss the effect of the recession on relationships anything else is off topic

play nice
Pimpey

Gyalist

Politicians and bankers are human too. Bankers, in particular, have been hit hard by the recession. I was recently reading an article written by a New York divorce lawyer about how many Wall Street bankers are facing divorce because their wives have bailed out at the first sign of financial troube.

Nitxteha

In a normal, and healthy relationship you are with your OH in good times and bad times, and you should support each other.

You can blame the polititians for many things, but not for any problems you may have in your relationship

LegacyUser

Thanks for your wise words... :-/

If you read the post properly, I have not said we are having problems, but the constant threat of redundancy and constant talk of recession has put us both under strain.

As I said, it was a chance to vent, not look for ill-founded relationship advice. But thanks again.

prinz

tbh I am actuallly better off with the recession. Going out is cheaper, restaurants are cheaper, cinema is cheaper......makes going out with my OH a lot more affordable. For richer or poorer, in good times and in bad. I'd rather be happy with my OH in a recession than unhappy before. It's a strain ok, but no reason to let your relationship suffer because of it, it's actually an excuse to work together better and support each other more. Carpe recessionum!

btw what we're having isn't so much a recession as a return to normality.

Unregistered

Unregistered wrote: »

Thanks for your wise words... :-/

If you read the post properly, I have not said we are having problems, but the constant threat of redundancy and constant talk of recession has put us both under strain.

As I said, it was a chance to vent, not look for ill-founded relationship advice. But thanks again.

It looks like you want to blame the recession for your relationship problems and want other people to agree. People are under strain for many reasons. Illness, death in the family, working long hours, whatever. There is always something. As Nitxteha said, if the relationship is healthy, it won't be threatened by this. If you're not having problems, why post this thread? I'm broke, my boyfriend had to go to Asia to get a job so we're apart for a year and it never occured to me to blame Brian Cowen.

The Recliner

Unregistered wrote: »

As I said, it was a chance to vent, not look for ill-founded relationship advice. But thanks again.

OP despite your post not being a PI I allowed it because I though it might be helpful to others to be able to talk about problems the recession is causing for them

Take peoples replies to your post as a generalisation and not a comment on you relationship specifically

if you want to vent or rant take it to another forum and if you have a go at the well meaning posters here then your posts will not be approved

RossFixxxed

There is definitely a strain there with the recession. I can feel it myself. It's not that it's causing relationship problems, but it's an extra load of anxiety to bear at the moment. I'm less likely to want to spend money on ANYTHING whatsoever at this point. I don't want as many things for myself as I'll have to reciprocate, it's an incredibly stupid way to think but that's what it has done to me.

Personally I've become a bit obsessed by money, how much I'm losing, how stressed I am, how I shouldn't drive cos I'll have to pay for petrol, how if I don't go anywhere I won't spend, what's the cheapest food etc etc etc. I am sick to the teeth of it an it is making me miserable... There are obvious impacts on a relationship becaue of these things.

I don't think it is ENTIRELY the fault of the recession though, you have to look at your own way of handling this situation. Do NOT do what Ross does!

R

LegacyUser

Thanks Ross. This is exactly what I mean. It is general stress and anxiety. It was meant to be a rant and not an invitation for advice. I am lucky in that we don't have a mortgage, or debts, and that until now, we have escaped redundancy. However, I am sure that there are people in far worse situations than we are in, with massive mortgages, debts, kids to pay for etc. I also am sure that no matter how strong someone's relationship is, that the pressure of the above will take it's toll. Yes, if you are strong enough, you will make it, and if you are not, you will fall by the wayside. I just think it's sad that this is happening and people are under this extra pressure.

I think I'd like to just delete my post completely. If I thought that I was going to get judged and people were going to make assumptions about my relationship as a result, I wouldn't have bothered.

I am not looking for sympathy or someone to agree with me. You can agree with me if you want. If you don't that's fine. My OH and I will make it through this, and despite what all of you think, I am not venting about my relationship problems, just in general. I am sorry if I made the error of posting in the wrong place in a public forum. If you want to delete this Moderator, go for your life.

SarahSassy

Unregistered wrote: »

banks irresponsibility.

And company directors who raped their own companies and left no funds in them for the bad times.

And greedy builder who working with the auctioneers pushed up prices.

And materialistic buyers who could not keep up with the Jones' if they didnt have the 3 hols per year plus the SUV's...

We have to take group responsibility for this mess.

Remember when you point the finger at someone else there are 3 fingers pointing back at you...

MysticalSoul

Personally, I think the constant negativity from the media has added to the recession. I do believe it was going to happen anyway, but with the media creating so much fear in people it has exacerbated it. I do find it a struggle, due to cut in salary, don't currently have a lodger, so all in all, I am down about 40% of what I had last year. The cost of living may be lower, but is not down significantly to count for such a drop. I am managing - just. I tend not to give it too much attention, as I feel that will just create more anxiety around it.

Nitxteha

Hi OP, nobody is judging you

Of course sometimes couples get stressed about money (but it doesnt necessarily happen only in recession times..), but you have to try to separate things (and when I say you, its a general "you").

I think the banks have misled the working-class pleople and the middle-class families, letting us think that we could be "investors" and lead a "jet-setter" life. This has obviously explode in our face and brought us back to reality, where it is only some people that are in the position to live like that (people that are now getting great opportunities with this crisis by the way..)

But that's how life is, and I think the best attitude is to focus on more important things in life and try to get through this "storm"

Karen_*

My job is going in three weeks and I drive home most days with tears running down my face. I did think to myself I wonder does Brian Cowen realise he has me in tears every day.

And then again it was mad the way things were going. Its teaching us all the value of money and that the best things in life are free so it really is the way you look at it. Its very very tough but its not all bad either.

Very good points made by Sassysarah, there are more people to blame bar Brian Cowen. Personally I didn't become a wannabe landlord and be happy to charge people over half their wages to pay my mortgage and give me spending money. But where I made a rod for my own back is that I didn't save, didn't exactly kill myself working to better myself, frittered money away so therin lies where the three fingers point back at me for where I am today.

Its all just horrible and actually the person I feel sorriest for is my 15 year old who really doesn't know the value of money and is used to having alot. Plus the job prospects don't look too good for him and other school kids when they leave. At least when I was a kid we had feck all so the recession didn't affect us as children too badly.

VaioCruiser

Yeah .. blame Politicians and Bankers for everything. Nothing to do with the "people".....

havana

I remember when the recession first hit thinking about it's effect on peoples relationships. When my parents got together it was a struggle and they worked hard to get thru the lean times and will have learned things that will get them thru this. In comparison i was thinking of all the couples who have only known good times financially, have never had to worry about money or discuss difficult financial decisions. It got me thinking how would some of these relationships come through this?

LegacyUser

Karen_* wrote: »

My job is going in three weeks and I drive home most days with tears running down my face. I did think to myself I wonder does Brian Cowen realise he has me in tears every day.

And then again it was mad the way things were going. Its teaching us all the value of money and that the best things in life are free so it really is the way you look at it. Its very very tough but its not all bad either.

Very good points made by Sassysarah, there are more people to blame bar Brian Cowen. Personally I didn't become a wannabe landlord and be happy to charge people over half their wages to pay my mortgage and give me spending money. But where I made a rod for my own back is that I didn't save, didn't exactly kill myself working to better myself, frittered money away so therin lies where the three fingers point back at me for where I am today.

Its all just horrible and actually the person I feel sorriest for is my 15 year old who really doesn't know the value of money and is used to having alot. Plus the job prospects don't look too good for him and other school kids when they leave. At least when I was a kid we had feck all so the recession didn't affect us as children too badly.

Hi Karen, I feel so sorry for you but I agree it depends on what your attitude is. I am also redundent from today, I had a job I loved, really well paid, close to home etc., and even though I am well qualified there are no job vacancies for me at the moment anywhere!

I have a teenage daughter too so I know where you are coming from. I skipped into work this morning with a smile on my face and I am going to enjoy a week for myself before the hard graft of finding some sort of work. My work colleagues are pretty much avoiding me because I think they feel awkward about my redundency... My partner is making a bit of a joke of it by calling me a layabout and telling me to get myself a job. (Havn't finished this one yet) We are trying to make light of it but so far it is not impacting on my relationship and I don't expect it will.

I do agree tho with the OP when the redundency was looming and not confirmed I was very stressed, irritable and snappy, even tearful. This does take its toll on all relationships, It was driving me mad when people were saying to me "your not going to lose your job" I knew I was even though it wasn't confirmed. Stay as optimistic and positive as possible and you might even be surprised at what you are entitled to from SW. Best of luck

Karen_*

Well while mine was looming I was ill and just very very upset all the time. And they still haven't told me if its definate but on 31st July they will and I won't have to work notice. So I just decided to take it as a given because it just seems to be some strange reason that they can't tell me straight out. And since accepting it and accepting I'll have less money I actually do feel alot better. Sure who knows whats round the corner?

I'm not in a relationship but I know me going around crying and upset would affect my son and friends and family. So I'm just putting my best foot forward and not letting anyone see how I feel. But in doign that I actually feel alot better. And after all we'll have loads of people to keep us company while we're off work!;) Best of luck to you xx

SarahSassy

Nitxteha wrote: »

I think the banks have misled the working-class pleople and the middle-class families, letting us think that we could be "investors" and lead a "jet-setter" life.

Bull.

Each individual has a choice. I choose not to have my credit card limit increased cos I dont want a big limit and bill...

Its about time people took responsibility for their own actions. Demand creats supply....

prinz

SarahSassy wrote: »

Bull.

Each individual has a choice. I choose not to have my credit card limit increased cos I dont want a big limit and bill...

Its about time people took responsibility for their own actions. Demand creats supply....

+1 know a couple of guys, mid twenties - no car, no mortgage, no major expenses, and yet they owe between 10k and 15k on banks and credit cards, which was all spent on "living expenses", i.e. going to the best bars, restaurants, holidays to Pacific etc. They lived the lives of 'up and coming' yuppies who went were it was 'good to be seen' etc. Morons the pair of them.

lizzlehizzle

Hi guys,

working for a one of irelands largest broadcasters,

looking for someone to come on the show to talk about the strain that the recession has put on their relationship and how they're working through it

let me know by replying to this thread or mailing me on laura.hogan@tv3.ie

thanks!

witnessmenow

From Athlone? When did you start working for TV3