Catholic funeral for a non catholic

FX Meister

I'm not a Catholic but my family will want to bury me with a catholic funeral against my wishes. Will the RC church allow this? Is there a way they can find to make sure this happens?

marco_polo

You would want to check with a solictor but I am pretty sure it is possible for a person to express their burial wishes in a will.

Fanny Cradock

That's an odd one. Is the Catholic funeral supposed to imbue any special spiritual properties on the deceased?

PDN

Evangelical Christians have been having this problem for years. Most of our congregation are fairly young, so we don't have many funerals, but we've had cases where family members have insisted on Catholic funerals against the clearly expressed wishes of the deceased.

If it is important to you then leave a will or something like Marco Polo suggests.

Personally I don't care - they can put my body in a wheelie bin for all it matters to me.

HarryD

PDN wrote: »

Personally I don't care - they can put my body in a wheelie bin for all it matters to me.

I agree.. worm food..
Let them remove anything useful first though to help others..
Presumed consent should be law

prinz

AFAIK there are no burial grounds currently operating in this country which have not been consecrated by one religion or another. Then presumably you'd need to through some sort of religious ceremony before you get interred in them? Don't think there's any special spiritual properties imbued tbh. IIRC the RC ceremony is made up of basically - an appreciation of life, a celebration of the individuals life, and a blessing for them for whatever happens upon death. There's no great mystery.

As PDN points out, you're already dead - what's the issue? Wouldn't bother me who sent me off tbh.

all the stars

FX Meister wrote: »

I'm not a Catholic but my family will want to bury me with a catholic funeral against my wishes. Will the RC church allow this? Is there a way they can find to make sure this happens?

Will you mind? When one dies - thou ist gone, so, why would you mind? just curious.
Me - given pretty much no thought to it really.

Tim Robbins

FX Meister wrote: »

I'm not a Catholic but my family will want to bury me with a catholic funeral against my wishes. Will the RC church allow this? Is there a way they can find to make sure this happens?

If you x - communicate, afaik you can't have a RC funneral.

TwoShedsJackson

FX Meister wrote: »

I'm not a Catholic but my family will want to bury me with a catholic funeral against my wishes. Will the RC church allow this? Is there a way they can find to make sure this happens?

Inform your family of your express wishes not to have a Catholic funeral held for you. If they tell you they are going to ignore this, you'll have to deal with that seperately, but surely they would not carry through with it when you have informed them and others that you do not want it?

Overblood

Why don't you get cremated and blast yourself into low earth orbit? It's your body innit? And by family do you mean kids?

dvpower

I hope this isn't off topic, but what about if the deceased is a non Christian (non religious), but their family present them at a Christian church for a funeral?

Do the churches refuse, provide the service or provide some kind of a compromise service (kind of like a blessing that the Catholic church might do for a divorced person getting married)?

FX Meister

I'm not a catholic and I don't believe in God. My family are Catholics and do. It's built into my father so I don't think he would really consider what I would want. As for my sisters, they would probably go half with what I want and half what my father would want. I believe when I'm dead I'm gone but I still don't want people having a ceremony that I do not want.

prinz

FX Meister wrote: »

I believe when I'm dead I'm gone but I still don't want people having a ceremony that I do not want.

If it gives those loved ones left behind a feeling of comfort and healing then why not? As you say you're dead.. are you that selfish that you'd take away something from your family that means a lot to them?

Splendour

PDN wrote: »

Personally I don't care - they can put my body in a wheelie bin for all it matters to me.

I'm with you on this PDN although I've requested to have Pachelbel's Canon in D played at my funeral should my kids decide to give me a good send off However, I would like my body to be given up for scientific purposes first...

Soul Winner

A friend of mine and brother in the faith went to his reward last year. His family are catholic but they abided by his last wishes that he be cremated and that no Catholic overtones be present at his home going ceremony. Only family and Pastor spoke with not a priest to be seen anywhere. This all took place in the chapel in Glasnevin cemetery. The Catholic priests won't impose themselves on you if you don't want them to but your family might ask them to. It should be made very clear to them that this is not the way you want to go. It's your funeral not theirs. If they want to go that way then fine but you should get what you want at your funeral.

hot2def

I think it would be breath-takingly selfish and small-minded of your family to override your wishes on this, they have no respect.

And to those saying you shoud shrug it off - what if the OP were very religious, and his family planned to ignore his burrial wishes and mince his corpse and chuck it in the bin?

prinz

hot2def wrote: »

And to those saying you shoud shrug it off - what if the OP were very religious, and his family planned to ignore his burrial wishes and mince his corpse and chuck it in the bin?

You already got the answer to that.

PDN wrote: »

Personally I don't care - they can put my body in a wheelie bin for all it matters to me.

Splendour wrote: »

However, I would like my body to be given up for scientific purposes first...

Furious_Daz

prinz wrote: »

If it gives those loved ones left behind a feeling of comfort and healing then why not? As you say you're dead.. are you that selfish that you'd take away something from your family that means a lot to them?

The usual religious guilt trip. The OP doesn't want a catholic funeral, they should respect his wishes. End of.

prinz

Furious_Daz wrote: »

The usual religious guilt trip. The OP doesn't want a catholic funeral, they should respect his wishes. End of.

It's amazing how the non-religious here are more concerned with what happens to their bodies after death than the Christians :rolleyes:

Furious_Daz

prinz wrote: »

It's amazing how the non-religious here are more concerned with what happens to their bodies after death than the Christians :rolleyes:

It's also amazing how some people don't care about what a person actually wants and care more about what other people think when they're gone.

hot2def

prinz wrote: »

It's amazing how the non-religious here are more concerned with what happens to their bodies after death than the Christians :rolleyes:

being "non-religious" doesn't mean you don't haven't got an opinion on what is right and wrong, just that you didn't base that opinion on a "holy" book of dubious origin.

I feel (and perhaps the OP too) that it would be a sign of tremendous disrespect if my family were to completely disregard my wishes. how could one "celebrate" my life with a religious ceremony that i would've found distasteful. To me, it would say they didn't really love who I was, ans were more concerned with who they are.

Fanny Cradock

Furious_Daz wrote: »

The usual religious guilt trip. The OP doesn't want a catholic funeral, they should respect his wishes. End of.

It's hardly a guilt trip. Rather, it seems like a perfectly valid suggestion to look at the issue from a different perspective. I suggest that in future you take any further generalisations elsewhere.

Furious_Daz

Fanny Cradock wrote: »

It's hardly a guilt trip. Rather, it seems like a perfectly valid approach from a different perspective to the problem. I suggest that in future you take further generalisations elsewhere.

I disagree. Prinz is implying that the OP is being selfish for not allowing his family to have a catholic funeral. Sounds like a guilt trip to me...

prinz

hot2def wrote: »

being "non-religious" doesn't mean you don't haven't got an opinion on what is right and wrong, just that you didn't base that opinion on a "holy" book of dubious origin.
.....To me, it would say they didn't really love who I was, ans were more concerned with who they are.

Or perhaps it demonstrates how much they love you. You're already dead so it doesn't matter what you find distasteful. If a friend of yours is a junkie, and you know he would find rehab distasteful, would you do what he wanted, or would you do what you think is best for him? Many Christians met their end on their knees with a gun to the head (if they were lucky - and most at the hands of atheists ) others were put into the ring with wild animals, others were burned in the arena for a crowd to watch and enjoy. Do you think they objected to what happend? Sorry Comrade Strelnikov, but would you mind having a Catholic ceremony down the Lubyanka for us please?

Tbh I don't mind how I meet my end or what happens to my body. I just can't grasp why it would be of such concern to people.

prinz

Furious_Daz wrote: »

I disagree. Prinz is implying that the OP is being selfish for not allowing his family to have a catholic funeral. Sounds like a guilt trip to me...

If that's what you want to call it fine. My point being if one is already dead, does it really bother you that much to let your family do something which can help them grieve and give comfort to them... IMO intentionally denying that just to make a point is disingenuous.

Furious_Daz

prinz wrote: »

If that's what you want to call it fine. My point being if one is already dead, does it really bother you that much to let your family do something which can help them grieve and give comfort to them... IMO intentionally denying that just to make a point is disingenuous.

That's one way of looking at it. Another is that the family are causing stress to a person (who I assume is dying?) so that they can make themselves feel better when he's dead. I think you need to reassess who's being selfish in this particular case.

prinz

Furious_Daz wrote: »

That's one way of looking at it. Another is that the family are causing stress to a person (who I assume is dying?) so that they can make themselves feel better when he's dead. I think you need to reassess who's being selfish in this particular case.

He's causing himself stress by worrying about something that really isn't going to have any concrete effect on him whatsoever. He could just as easily say, whatever if I'm dead, I'm dead, they can do what they like.

Furious_Daz

prinz wrote: »

He's causing himself stress by worrying about something that really isn't going to have any concrete effect on him whatsoever. He could just as easily say, whatever if I'm dead, I'm dead, they can do what they like.

That's true but also not the point of the thread. It should be irrelevant what the family think. These are his final wishes and if they had any respect for him then they'd carry them out without causing him further upset.

ShooterSF

prinz wrote: »

Tbh I don't mind how I meet my end or what happens to my body. I just can't grasp why it would be of such concern to people.

Apologies of my ignorance here but aren't there some rituals you have at a Christian funeral that eh assist in your passage to the afterlife?
If so and you're family decided they'd rather not give you a christian funeral but just bunk your body in a wheelie-bin would that not irritate you based on your beliefs?

(Im working off an assumption here that may be wrong and I'm open to correction)

prinz

ShooterSF wrote: »

Apologies of my ignorance here but aren't there some rituals you have at a Christian funeral that eh assist in your passage to the afterlife?
If so and you're family decided they'd rather not give you a christian funeral but just bunk your body in a wheelie-bin would that not irritate you based on your beliefs?

(Im working off an assumption here that may be wrong and I'm open to correction)

No problem. AFAIK there's no particular 'assistance' so to speak. A blessing that more or less says 'whatever happens, happens', but it's not a prerequisite, therefore the absence of that (while I may like to have it) would not affect me unduly. If I happen to die in an accident for example where my body is not recovered, or if I'm basically vapourised in an explosion etc., I wouldn't have any doubts that the absence of a Christian service/mass would have any ill effects on my passage as you say. So throw me in a wheelie bin, if that makes those left behind feel better.

Fanny Cradock

ShooterSF wrote: »

Apologies of my ignorance here but aren't there some rituals you have at a Christian funeral that eh assist in your passage to the afterlife?

(Im working off an assumption here that may be wrong and I'm open to correction)

Not as far as I'm aware. Certainly I don't see anything to suggests anything of the sort in the bible. The NT makes it fairly clear what is required for salvation. Assistance isn't required. It would be interesting to see, though, if this is the belief across the main denominations.

ScumLord

Do the grave sites belong to the churches? There's only one grave site around here and if I didn't have a catholic funereal I don't know what they'd do with me.

I'd like to be burned in a field or feed to the wild animals, I don't think my organs will be worth passing on I haven't taken great car of them but if anyone wants them they can have them.

Fanny Cradock

ScumLord wrote: »

Do the grave sites belong to the churches? There's only one grave site around here and if I didn't have a catholic funereal I don't know what they'd do with me.

I'd like to be burned in a field or feed to the wild animals, I don't think my organs will be worth passing on I haven't taken great car of them but if anyone wants them they can have them.

AFAIK, the churches own and maintain the plots. There are alternatives for those who would prefer a plot of that isn't affiliated with any particular religion.

pts

ScumLord wrote: »

Do the grave sites belong to the churches? There's only one grave site around here and if I didn't have a catholic funereal I don't know what they'd do with me.

I'd like to be burned in a field or feed to the wild animals, I don't think my organs will be worth passing on I haven't taken great car of them but if anyone wants them they can have them.

According to the FAQ atwww.countmeout.ie

wrote:

Will defecting restrict where I can be buried when I die?

Burial grounds in Ireland are under the management of Local Authorities (ie. city and county councils). We spoke to Cork City Council in relation to non-denominational burial plots and were assured that all cemeteries in Ireland accept people of any faith (or no faith) into their burial grounds. As such, your defection from the church will not affect you if you wish to be buried in a cemetery.

Michael G

FX Meister wrote: »

I'm not a Catholic but my family will want to bury me with a catholic funeral against my wishes. Will the RC church allow this? Is there a way they can find to make sure this happens?

Reply (as a Catholic): most of our priests now are so wet that they would bury Richard Dawkins or Osama Bin Laden, and say some girly Vatican II words over them. Relax; most of them don't think it means any more than you do. Make a will to prevent it if it bothers you. Your family can have a funeral Mass later if they wish.

I have told my family that I want a Requiem Mass in the traditional pre-Vatican II rite, preventing any "bidding prayers" or "tributes" that would embarrass me, not because of their content but because of the whole gob****e style of the event, if I were alive (The asterisks mean s_h_i_t, but you probably knew that.) If your family go for what is now the norm it will probably involve some unspeakably embarrassing moments when they bring your dirty socks to the altar as an "offering" and then someones says some ****e about you, but you will happily be in a state where either you don't know about it, or, as Chaucer said at the end of Troilus and Criseyde when Troilus dies and looks down from heaven at people still fighting, yearning and suffering on Earth (this is in Middle English, but most people can probably understand it) you will be in a position to laugh at it. As I believe and hope I will be.

And doun from thennes faste he gan avyse
This litel spot of erthe, that with the see
Embraced is, and fully gan despyse
This wrecched world, and held al vanitee
To respect of the pleyn felicitee
That is in hevene above; and at the laste,
Ther he was slayn, his loking doun he caste;
And in him-self he lough right at the wo
Of hem that wepten for his deeth so faste;
And dampned al our werk that folweth so
The blinde lust, the which that may not laste,
And sholden al our herte on hevene caste.

PDN

ShooterSF wrote: »

Apologies of my ignorance here but aren't there some rituals you have at a Christian funeral that eh assist in your passage to the afterlife?
If so and you're family decided they'd rather not give you a christian funeral but just bunk your body in a wheelie-bin would that not irritate you based on your beliefs?

(Im working off an assumption here that may be wrong and I'm open to correction)

No, the funeral is just a way of disposing of a bit of dead meat that is purely for the benefit of the grieving (or otherwise) relatives. Unless you're Michael Jackson, in which case it is an opportunity to put on a concert and rewrite history.

homer911

prinz wrote: »

AFAIK there are no burial grounds currently operating in this country which have not been consecrated by one religion or another.

I remember reading David Wilson's "A new breed of Irish men" where he talks about burying his daughter (stillborn?). He looked for a cemetry with no religious demarcation but the local cemetry was split down the middle - Catholics on one side and Protestants on the other. He tried to have her buried on the dividing line without success!