Arranged Marriages and Woolly Jumpers.

Pighead · 08-07-2009 9:20am #1

Pighead returned back to the family homestead last weekend and was quite excited to do so as there was a family do taking place on Sunday evening to celebrate Aunt Minnie's recent achievement of winning the local "Lovely legs" competition. This was the 45th consecutive year she had won the competition and rightly so as she really does have a lovely pair of legs.

Anyway we were getting ready to go down to the pub when Mama Pighead shouts out "Oi, Pighead, take that T-Shirt off and put on your good Sunday woolly jumper. This is not a night to be showing off your big strong manly arms. Tonight is all about Minnie's legs."

Pighead sulked a bit but he knew it was useless to disobey her as she would only shout at him and probably lock him in the cupboard again. Anyway, put on the woolly jumper and felt miserable. Felt absolutely no love towards it and resented Mama for the pressure she had put on her son to wear the wretched thing.

The whole sorry fiasco reminded Pighead of what it must be like to be involved in an arranged marriage. Doomed to a life with a woman who doesn't fit you properly and makes your belly itch. Yeah sure, it's a good system for the ugly blokes who are guaranteed a mate and who could very well get lucky by bagging themselves a good looking lady but for the majority it's a crock of shit and increases the chances of a live without love. As the Dalai Lama once said: We can live without religion and meditation, but we cannot survive without human affection.

So whats your feelings on arranged marriages?

WindSock · 08-07-2009 9:27am

Arranged marrieds are less likely to divorce, or so I believe. Maybe we should put some more faith in partners of our parents choosing...

IvyTheTerrible · 08-07-2009 9:28am

WindSock wrote: »

Arranged marrieds are less likely to divorce, or so I believe. Maybe we should put some more faith in partners of our parents choosing...

That's probably because divorce is seen as less acceptable in cultures where arranged marriage is the norm?

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 08-07-2009 9:30am

If someone could arranget me a marraige with Katie French, I'd be all for it!

Dinter · 08-07-2009 9:30am

Well I've absolutely no inclination to shag my mother. I just don't fancy her so I'm not sure I could trust my dad's taste in women to choose a wife for me.

javaboy · 08-07-2009 9:30am

While I wouldn't be a big fan of the whole wedding planner nonsense, I think a little planning goes a long way. You try turning up at the Church on the day without arranging anything and see how far you get. Never mind the hotel for the reception.

Pighead · 08-07-2009 9:31am

WindSock wrote: »

Arranged marrieds are less likely to divorce, or so I believe. Maybe we should put some more faith in partners of our parents choosing...

That's a rubbish statistic though. The reason that arranged marriages are less likely to divorce is because the kids are scared shitless of upsetting their parents. It's like the jumper thing again. Pighead could have flung it to the ground and told Mama to stick her jumper where the sun doesn't shine but through fear and respect he wisely chose to keep it on.

Pighead · 08-07-2009 9:32am

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

If someone could arranget me a marraige with Katie French, I'd be all for it!

Are you also hoping for a pair of Michael Jackson concert tickets for your birthday?

Long Onion · 08-07-2009 9:33am

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

If someone could arranget me a marraige with Katie French, I'd be all for it!

Goddamn necrophiles are everywhere

ejmaztec · 08-07-2009 9:44am

Arranged marriages do break down, leading to divorce. I knew cases in the UK involving Indian families.

When the marriage hits the rocks, the wife moves herself and her kids back in with her parents, her father then being responsible for supporting them.

It seems that as the father was responsible for choosing the husband, he's the one who gets it in the wallet should the marriage fizzle out.

TheZohanS · 08-07-2009 9:46am

Different strokes for different folks Pighead. As long as both the parties agree to the arranged marriage then ok.

Now back to your aunt, is she working as a nurse in Nigeria by any chance? If she is you should thank your lucky stars that Mama Pighead made you cover your manly arms.

WindSock · 08-07-2009 9:50am

ejmaztec wrote: »

It seems that as the father was responsible for choosing the husband, he's the one who gets it in the wallet should the marriage fizzle out.

There you go Pighead. Cast off your jumper and demand that your father compensate you for your troubles. Or tell him to buy you a nice new reindeer one for Christmas.

Pighead · 08-07-2009 9:54am

TheZohan wrote: »

Different strokes for different folks Pighead. As long as both the parties agree to the arranged marriage then ok.

But it's not the people who are actually getting married who are agreeing to this shambolic ritual. It's both set of parents. who have the final say. What if two parties agree to kill a illy goat? Does it make it ok seeing as both parties agreed? Damn straight it doesn't. Down with arranged marriages.

phasers · 08-07-2009 9:56am

I've seen Minnie's legs, they're nothing special. She's got to be shagging somebody.

javaboy · 08-07-2009 9:56am

WindSock wrote: »

Cast off your jumper and demand that your father compensate you for your troubles.

I get it. It's knitwit.

Pighead · 08-07-2009 10:03am

phasers wrote: »

I've seen Minnie's legs, they're nothing special. She's got to be shagging somebody.

Pighead is pretty certain that you are getting your Minnies mixed up. To say her legs are nothing special is like saying a rainbow is ok to look at if you're doing nothing else. If you really have seen Minnie's legs and you really think that they're nothing special then Pighead can only assume you prefer legs of the hairier variety.

biko · 08-07-2009 10:07am

Sadly arranged marriages often means marrying a 13 year old bride with a 50 year old man, so it's a really really crappy idea.

ejmaztec · 08-07-2009 10:08am

Isn't it illegal for a pig-related creature to be having carnal knowledge of a woolly jumper? It must be "double-bestiality" surely?

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 08-07-2009 11:13am

Pighead wrote: »

Are you also hoping for a pair of Michael Jackson concert tickets for your birthday?

Long Onion wrote: »

Goddamn necrophiles are everywhere

SHE'S DEAD...????! :eek::eek::eek:NOOOOO!

Also, I'm a bit old for Michael Jackson. Almost old enough to be his brother.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 08-07-2009 11:14am

Pighead wrote: »

Pighead is pretty certain that you are getting your Minnies mixed up. To say her legs are nothing special is like saying a rainbow is ok to look at if you're doing nothing else. If you really have seen Minnie's legs and you really think that they're nothing special then Pighead can only assume you prefer legs of the hairier variety.

Which team does she play for?

Pighead · 08-07-2009 11:22am

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

Which team does she play for?

The Louth Village Lionesses. Although Pighead's not quite sure what Minnie's rugby exploits have to do with the price of spuds.

ScumLord · 08-07-2009 11:35am

I thought people only wore woolly jumpers at Christmas or farming events. Was this a farmers market lovely legs competition?

SmileyPaul · 08-07-2009 11:39am

there was once a huge clan in sligo called the mc donaghs but one day there was a feud and the clan split in two the larger part of the clan remained in sligo still settled, the other part left to roanm and in future centuries became known as travellers (Im one of the ones who stayed settled :P)

every year my family go to knock around the middle two weeks of august (well we stay ouyside knock in claremorris). and every time we go there is this weird traveller convention thing.... so many ugly travellers its unreal!

anyway! after 15 years my dad finally went up to one and asked what the hell was going on.... the news was shocking. turns out its when all the travelling mc donaghs meet up to pawn off their daughters (to other mc donaghs) to keep the peace between the families :S

I really dont like the idea of it at all

Pighead · 08-07-2009 11:41am

ScumLord wrote: »

I thought people only wore woolly jumpers at Christmas or farming events. Was this a farmers market lovely legs competition?

Indeed it was ScumLord. Pighead has no problem answering any queries you may have Scum but he feels that perhaps we are moving away from the nub of what this thread is supposed to be about. So ScumLord how do you feel about men in their thirties who are still scared of their mothers?

ScumLord · 08-07-2009 11:50am

Pighead wrote: »

Indeed it was ScumLord. Pighead has no problem answering any queries you may have Scum but he feels that perhaps we are moving away from the nub of what this thread is supposed to be about. So ScumLord how do you feel about men in their thirties who are still scared of their mothers?

I feel like I should be taking greater advantage of this rare phenomenon. How do I find your mother? How senile is she? And do you have any cool stuff I can get her to make you give me?

The_Minister · 08-07-2009 12:01pm

SmileyPaul wrote: »

there was once a huge clan in sligo called the mc donaghs but one day there was a feud and the clan split in two the larger part of the clan remained in sligo still settled, the other part left to roanm and in future centuries became known as travellers (Im one of the ones who stayed settled :P)

every year my family go to knock around the middle two weeks of august (well we stay ouyside knock in claremorris). and every time we go there is this weird traveller convention thing.... so many ugly travellers its unreal!

anyway! after 15 years my dad finally went up to one and asked what the hell was going on.... the news was shocking. turns out its when all the travelling mc donaghs meet up to pawn off their daughters (to other mc donaghs) to keep the peace between the families :S

I really dont like the idea of it at all

Were any of them the hot travellers on the Late Late Show?

General Zod · 08-07-2009 12:11pm

Magnus wrote: »

Sadly arranged marriages often means marrying a 13 year old bride with a 50 year old man, so it's a really really crappy idea.

that's just the stories you hear of, really. "Arranged marriage works out happily" isn't really a story a sub editor will include to fill 2 inches at the bottom of page 6 of the Evening Herald.

WindSock · 08-07-2009 12:13pm

SmileyPaul wrote: »

there was once a huge clan in sligo called the mc donaghs but one day there was a feud and the clan split in two the larger part of the clan remained in sligo still settled, the other part left to roanm and in future centuries became known as travellers (Im one of the ones who stayed settled :P)

every year my family go to knock around the middle two weeks of august (well we stay ouyside knock in claremorris). and every time we go there is this weird traveller convention thing.... so many ugly travellers its unreal!

anyway! after 15 years my dad finally went up to one and asked what the hell was going on.... the news was shocking. turns out its when all the travelling mc donaghs meet up to pawn off their daughters (to other mc donaghs) to keep the peace between the families :S

I really dont like the idea of it at all

So the Traveller McDonaghs get married off to the settles McDonaghs? Do the settled ones not mind intermarrying? And does that mean the settled become travellers or vice - versa?

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 08-07-2009 3:42pm

Pighead wrote: »

The Louth Village Lionesses. Although Pighead's not quite sure what Minnie's rugby exploits have to do with the price of spuds.

You can tell a lot about a woman by what team she plays for, but in the case Ikky stopped reading at "Louth".

--Kaiser-- · 08-07-2009 3:48pm

I'm not mad about either but woolly jumpers are definitely the greater evil

Pighead · 08-07-2009 3:50pm

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

You can tell a lot about a woman by what team she plays for, but in the case Ikky stopped reading at "Louth".

Is that because you have trouble reading words with over five letters in them?

Earthhorse · 08-07-2009 3:59pm

Pighead wrote: »

Yeah sure, it's a good system for the ugly blokes who are guaranteed a mate and who could very well get lucky by bagging themselves a good looking lady but for the majority it's a crock of shit and increases the chances of a live without love.

I agree, this is a strong argument in favour of it.

So whats your feelings on arranged marriages?

Well, personally I'm agin it, but, a friend of mine got married in his early twenties and met his wife through an arranged meeting, a sort of network type thing where...well I don't really know how it worked but basically they were arranged meetings with no obligations but with the intention of meeting someone to marry.

I think there's some merit to that.

Mimikyu · 08-07-2009 4:09pm

This post has been deleted.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 08-07-2009 4:31pm

Pighead wrote: »

Is that because you have trouble reading words with over five letters in them?

No, Ikky is not from Louth.

Arranged Marriages and Woolly Jumpers.

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