low maintenance

LegacyUser

What would you do in this case, maintenance request with judge, childs dad shows up with hands hanging and astronomical bills to be paid, judge awards a low maintenance amount because of this, child comes home after spending time with dad telling me about brand new console games every week, entire days of shopping with dad's partner for new clothes, holidays and festivals, nights out and hotels..................meanwhile I have to budget for a mc donalds, there's something wrong somewhere, I'm at the end of my tether, what would you do? any advice? oh and by the way there is NO talking to childs dad, trust me, have tried that for the last ten years and get absolutely nowhere

Nevyn

All you can do is go back through the court system and apply again and if needs be get a private investigator if needs be to help you build aase and get evidence you need.

Klingon Hamlet

Get some legal advice on this. I was summoned to court for child maintenance (even though I was already paying it as agreed...long story!) and the judge would only look at anything taken directly from my income---pension, tax, prsi---as expenses. It seems that thefamily law system is quite inconsistent and very much dependant on each judge's personal approach to the matter. Perhaps the judge could request a more thorough examination of the dad's income/outgoings and work from there.

Ray Kelly of the USFI group in Tallaght can be very helpful in all matters regarding child maintenance and everything else associated with shared parenting. I'd recommend checking out the site www.usfi.ie and contacting him.

Best of luck. From the sounds of it the dad is very deceptive. I hope everything works out for you. Please PM me if there's anything further I can do.

Splendour

Unregistered wrote: »

What would you do in this case, maintenance request with judge, childs dad shows up with hands hanging and astronomical bills to be paid, judge awards a low maintenance amount because of this, child comes home after spending time with dad telling me about brand new console games every week, entire days of shopping with dad's partner for new clothes, holidays and festivals, nights out and hotels..................meanwhile I have to budget for a mc donalds, there's something wrong somewhere, I'm at the end of my tether, what would you do? any advice? oh and by the way there is NO talking to childs dad, trust me, have tried that for the last ten years and get absolutely nowhere

Not a lot you can do really, judges don't really want to deal with this and will take the easiest way out ie: ignore the evidence. I had a similar situation recently during a divorce hearing. My Ex pleaded poverty and the judge made a maintenance decision on his current income, which wasn't a true picture.
My solicitor had requested his bank statements (half of which were blanked out). These statements showed how my Ex spends tons of money on meals out, holidays and best of all managed to pay e90,000 off his mortgage last year! The judged didn't even look at the evidence and went merely on his 'income' as it stands now. My maintenance which hasn't been increased in ten years actually went down.
Waste of time going to court.

If I were you I'd just try and accept the injustice and do the best you can for your child. Difficult I know, but there is no other choice.I try to put it to the back of my mind, though when I hear my kids telling me of their Dad going on another holiday or investing in another house it really is frustrating.

Take care...

Klingon Hamlet

Splendour wrote: »

Not a lot you can do really, judges don't really want to deal with this and will take the easiest way out ie: ignore the evidence. I had a similar situation recently during a divorce hearing. My Ex pleaded poverty and the judge made a maintenance decision on his current income, which wasn't a true picture.
My solicitor had requested his bank statements (half of which were blanked out). These statements showed how my Ex spends tons of money on meals out, holidays and best of all managed to pay e90,000 off his mortgage last year! The judged didn't even look at the evidence and went merely on his 'income' as it stands now. My maintenance which hasn't been increased in ten years actually went down.
Waste of time going to court.

If I were you I'd just try and accept the injustice and do the best you can for your child. Difficult I know, but there is no other choice.I try to put it to the back of my mind, though when I hear my kids telling me of their Dad going on another holiday or investing in another house it really is frustrating.

Take care...

Did you or your solicitor highlight this glaring "blank"? Did you fight your case? I've represented myself. My heart has jumped up my throat facing a judge. Now I know they need a guiding hand. They need help seeing the lies or finding the proof of the other party's exaggerations.

Splendour

Klingon Hamlet wrote: »

Did you or your solicitor highlight this glaring "blank"? Did you fight your case? I've represented myself. My heart has jumped up my throat facing a judge. Now I know they need a guiding hand. They need help seeing the lies or finding the proof of the other party's exaggerations.

Apparantly it's legal to black out bank statements and if the judge sees fit he/she can ask for another 'unblacked' statement to be produced. In reality though this wasn't gonna happen as the judge is hardly that interested in bringing the case back to court and just wanted it done and over with. My barrister tried to point out the fact of the blacked out statements to the judge but she didn't even acknowledge it. As far as I can see my Ex and I may as well have just sent in our avidavit of means and not wasted time appearing in court as this was the only thing the judge looked at.

I have represented myself before and would rather face the judge myself rather than have a solicitor do it for me as they don't really fight the case properly. I think they are concerned with their own status in front of the judge and therefore don't speak up, whereas you or I have nothing to lose in speaking out. The reason I had representation this time is because I lost one of my children to my husband due to my not knowing the law properly when I went to court on my own. Had I had a solicitor at the time chances are I would still have my son with me...

Klingon Hamlet

Splendour wrote: »

Apparantly it's legal to black out bank statements and if the judge sees fit he/she can ask for another 'unblacked' statement to be produced. In reality though this wasn't gonna happen as the judge is hardly that interested in bringing the case back to court and just wanted it done and over with. My barrister tried to point out the fact of the blacked out statements to the judge but she didn't even acknowledge it. As far as I can see my Ex and I may as well have just sent in our avidavit of means and not wasted time appearing in court as this was the only thing the judge looked at.

I have represented myself before and would rather face the judge myself rather than have a solicitor do it for me as they don't really fight the case properly. I think they are concerned with their own status in front of the judge and therefore don't speak up, whereas you or I have nothing to lose in speaking out. The reason I had representation this time is because I lost one of my children to my husband due to my not knowing the law properly when I went to court on my own. Had I had a solicitor at the time chances are I would still have my son with me...

I'm so sorry Splendour, have you looked into:

Free Legal Advice: www.flac.ie
Legal Aid Board: www.legalaidboard.ie
Unmarried and Seperated Support Group (highly recommend this): www.usfi.ie

I'm preaching to the converted when I say that the family law system in this country is stuck in the middle ages and needs immediate modernisation. They need to think of us as people rather than numbers on the list.

Splendour whatever you do, do not lose hope. I would emphasise it is very important you contact Ray Kelly at USFI (it's called Unmarried and Seperated Fathers of Ireland but lots of mums and grans and aunts etc... use its service). My son was taken out of the country 5 months ago and I haven't seen him since. USFI have helped me bolster up my confidence to fight this injustice. I was at that admittedly low-numbered protest outsude GPO, and we got some interest but little media coverage. This area of society is treated with contempt, disdain, pity, but never empathy. People just do-not-want-to-know.

I wish you all the best Splendour. If you would like to speak with me more privately please PM me. Otherwise all the best of luck in the future, and stay positive for you and your children's sake.

Splendour

Klingon Hamlet wrote: »

I'm so sorry Splendour, have you looked into:

Free Legal Advice: www.flac.ie
Legal Aid Board: www.legalaidboard.ie
Unmarried and Seperated Support Group (highly recommend this): www.usfi.ie

I'm preaching to the converted when I say that the family law system in this country is stuck in the middle ages and needs immediate modernisation. They need to think of us as people rather than numbers on the list.

Splendour whatever you do, do not lose hope. I would emphasise it is very important you contact Ray Kelly at USFI (it's called Unmarried and Seperated Fathers of Ireland but lots of mums and grans and aunts etc... use its service). My son was taken out of the country 5 months ago and I haven't seen him since. USFI have helped me bolster up my confidence to fight this injustice. I was at that admittedly low-numbered protest outsude GPO, and we got some interest but little media coverage. This area of society is treated with contempt, disdain, pity, but never empathy. People just do-not-want-to-know.

I wish you all the best Splendour. If you would like to speak with me more privately please PM me. Otherwise all the best of luck in the future, and stay positive for you and your children's sake.

Thanks Klingon but too late for me now as divorce is done-at least that's one stress out of the way. I don't live in dread of solicitors letters coming through the door!

To the OP, sorry if my advice to you sounds negative but I really think you are better off accepting your lot rather than put yourself through alot of stress. If you do go back to court you run the risk of maintenance being lowered- as happened in my case. Put your energy into your child and yourself rather than frustrating yourself with all of this...

LegacyUser

I know it's tough if you're struggling with money but is it possible that your ex's partner is the one paying for these treats, not your ex?

aoifemonaghan

was hoping u could help me out also....my partner and I have a child together, he is two yrs old, partner has child from previous relationship who is 8 yrs old. My partner pays out 100 euro a week for his 8 yr old while we live off 190 euros a week for the 3 of us after bills etc is paid for. Because the child is off school she is in the creche while the mother works which means she is paying more than usual and she now wants my partner to pay more towards the creche and towards school supplies etc when we simply cannot afford it...our shopping bill comes in at 100 euros each week which means we are left with 90...like we cant afford to buy my son little things and it kills me, why should he have to suffer?? the other child was in america twice so far this year, has a 3 diff game consoles, latest football jerseys etc while i cant afford to buy my son shoes!!..im at a loose end, he doesnt want to say no because he doesnt want to cause any bad blood between them which may cause him not to see his child, he doesnt want to go to court because her family and his family are very good friends...legally what is the amount of child maintenance he should be paying does any1 know roughly??

Nevyn

There is no set ammount, legally it can range from as little as 40 to 150 euros per week
depending on means of the parent paying.

You should look into seeing if your family is entitled to any other payments such as FIS.
http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/social-welfare/social-welfare-payments/social-welfare-payments-to-families-and-children/family_income_supplement

And if he should look at decreasing the ammount if it causing hardship and if she doens't like it she can take him to court.

Klingon Hamlet

Judge would take into account the fact that he (and you) have a child together meaning he has less disposable income.

Hell with causing bad blood. Let them deal. It's your life and your child's life and your partner's life. Tip-toeing through this will only cause future pain.

fizzy cola

Sorry to hijack your post but I have just come from the district court where the Judge struck out all arrears cases as the high court has ruled that the legislation regading this is unconstitutional. Apparently we have to wait for new legislation to be passed before the cases will be seen.
Has any one heard anything regarding this? My ex hasn't paid maintenance since January and I am really struggling at the moment I have had to borrow money to get my daughters school books and uniform while he is on the local paper every second week in the "out and about" section. It's sickening.