Need advice not good with dating

sparkydee

I'm thinking of asking a guy out. For various and not so good reasons i've been out of the dating scene a while. We get on well and flirt with each other all the time. I know there is pitfalls to doing this but any help would be appreciated. I just want him to get the hint i like him without going over the top on it...

John Mason

hey, blah, fancy going out tonight

brownbinman

why dont you ask him out?

Dont ask, dont get.

sparkydee

I'm just afraid he'll say no and i know that's probably what will happen but i really like him...

Otis Driftwood

Something like "you fancy going for a drink some evening this week"

Believe me,blokes love it when women take the initiative.Shows alot of mettle.

Go for it and good luck.:)

SPEED-DEMON

I can imagine how you feel. I'm a bloke and I feel the same way if asking a girl out. The best way is to slip it into conversation without putting yourself out there too much.....test the water so to speak. Even in conversation joke about the two of you going out and back away and see what reaction you get. Information is power lol.;)

LauraLoo

i say just ask him out

whats the worst that can happen? He'll say no.

What happens when he says no? you feel rejected/kick in confidence

If you prepare yourself for the worst that can happen: Realise that feelings of rejection are created by the ego and that is all they are: feelings.

Feelings are created by thoughts: Dont allow yourself to "think" about why he rejected you and you wont create the bad feelings. Allow yourself to pep talk your way out of it by realising that the most important thing you did was take a chance and allow that to boost your confidence. You can take control of how you react to a possible rejection.

You never know,he might just say yes:p

sparkydee

Thanks for all the advice i'm going to chat to him tomorrow and hopefully he'll say yes... I've never done anything like this before.

legend365

Maybe say it like '..you fancy goin for a drink sometime?'

...rather than sayin a particular day or time. This will leave it open and plans can be made after the initial leap..if all goes well

Liam Byrne

sparkydee wrote: »

I'm thinking of asking a guy out. For various and not so good reasons i've been out of the dating scene a while. We get on well and flirt with each other all the time. I know there is pitfalls to doing this but any help would be appreciated. I just want him to get the hint i like him without going over the top on it...

Then don't go "over the top"! Just ask him!

What's the worst that could happen ? He says no. But if you get on well and you really do "flirt with each other all the time" then he mightn't.

If he does say no, ye'll get over it.
If he says yes, happy days.
If you don't ask, you'll never know.

Of those 3 scenarios there's only one that - to me - would be a bummer.......guess which one ?

Best of luck!

sparkydee

Thanks for all the advice am nervous as hell. I'm def asking him tomorrow:)

Gig Bee

A good chat up line that I use works all the time with any guy

Sheog

So sparkydee How did it go? Did he say yes? I hope he did! I have never quite had the guts to do the asking myself and I know I've missed out as a result.

Colonel_McCoy

i was in your boat a few weeks out and I just asked straight out and she said yes! Go for it you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

observer

nedtheshed wrote: »

Something like "you fancy going for a drink some evening this week"

Believe me,blokes love it when women take the initiative.Shows alot of mettle.

Go for it and good luck.:)

not all of them. in fact i think its the lazy ones who do.

OP don't ask him out ask him to ask you out!!!

like bla bla bla bla flirt flirt bla. and u say right i gotta go if when u decide to man up and ask me out i'll be over there. or if u wanna do it by text say

when u decide to man up and ask me out you have my number.


This is good for 2 reasons. 1 its a confident statement on ur side. he will love a confident girl. the reason its confident is that he will see that u have the measure of him in being able to see that he likes u.

Now if he doesn't like u he won't ask u out and you won't have to endure the horrible "look i don't like u that way" etc. so its a move with a screen

Adamisconfused

observer wrote: »

not all of them. in fact i think its the lazy ones who do.

OP don't ask him out ask him to ask you out!!!

like bla bla bla bla flirt flirt bla. and u say right i gotta go if when u decide to man up and ask me out i'll be over there. or if u wanna do it by text say

when u decide to man up and ask me out you have my number.


This is good for 2 reasons. 1 its a confident statement on ur side. he will love a confident girl. the reason its confident is that he will see that u have the measure of him in being able to see that he likes u.

Now if he doesn't like u he won't ask u out and you won't have to endure the horrible "look i don't like u that way" etc. so its a move with a screen

Calling into question his masculinity is not the way to go. Even jokingly. There isn’t a chance I’d ask out an overbearing woman. Basically, they wouldn’t have even gone out once and she will have been telling him what to do. That’s not attractive. To some men, it might be. To others, it most certainly isn’t.

She can show that she’s confident by just asking him out. Facing rejection comes with the field.
Op, if you want him and don’t think he’ll ask you out then you have no other option than to ask him yourself.

sparkydee

Well i ended up chickening out. I was talking to him and i wanted to but it just didn't happen. I'm def going to but i think asking him out for a drink is prob the way to go.....

Otis Driftwood

Defo.Nothing too serious,just a friendly drink.

Then pounce on him.



You have nothing at all to lose so just throw caution to the wind and go for it.

Time out

Just slip it into conversation, dont just march up and ask him straight out! As a bloke I d like it if someone asked me out. Very best of luck!
Let us all know!