Heart goes Bumpety Bump!!

DangerMouse27

Hi!
Im in Limbo...take a right turn at hope,left round by happiness and its the third door on your left!
Me and my ex fiancee broke up about two years ago,we kept friendly but not overly and tried as best we could to maintain a friendship even though we lived in the same town.I was going out again and meeting people and even went out with someone recently for about nine months.All going well and still we would give the hellos to each other and still my heart would beat out of my chest when i saw her.
Now we meet for coffee erratically(could be months or weeks) and still the chest beats loud as a drum,the smile hits me and im gone !

She told me a couple of coffee meetings ago that she still tells people that she loves me and always will,and i told her same back which i do.
She even recently went so far as to tell me to end it with the recent ex as she was not good enough for me(it turned out she was right!).
The recent ex coincidentally would always be bashing her and her family to which i would defend to the hilt. I never mentioned this to engaged ex,would hurt her feelings and she is pretty headstrong!

Engaged ex has depression and the only person she has been close to, apart from me is her twin(not identical).
She hasnt gone out with anybody since we split and stays in alot due to finances.
Met her today to tell her about my dads recent cancer diagnosis,he was close to her so its right i told her and of course she was supportive as ever!

What do i do? the bumpety bump in my chest wall says i try make something happen.
Will i leave it to her and just carry on as normal?

Ddad

Why did you break up. That seems the crux of the situation.

If that reason still stands it seems a reconciliation is hardly tenable. I feel for you though. Such feelings linger, escpecially if you and the girl are still close, clearly you are.

DangerMouse27

Well we were living together and six months engaged but werent going out socialising coz id just started college and was working every god sent hour to pay for our rented house( She did grocery bills and i paid rent!)

She started to take meds for depression and got really irritable,even with the twin!
The meds were ruining the boudoir situation as they have all sorts of side effects.
I couldnt do anything right and anytime i did,she hated me apologising.
Jus time wore it down after that.

I tried too hard when it was ending,the poems,texts etc and ive siad to myself that she needs to make the move.I couldnt do it and then get shot down spectacularly!
id be ruined!

She seems to have a grip of the illness but it doesnt matter even if she doesnt,its her i want,flaws and all.And its me im giving,flaws and all!

Astrogeek

Being involved with someone who is depressed is never easy. But if you feel that she is dealing with it better now I would definitely give it another go if I was in your position.

Hagar

If you truly love the girl give it everything you have got.
This is your life not a dress rehearsal, go for it.

Nead21

DangerMouse27 wrote: »

its her i want,flaws and all.And its me im giving,flaws and all!

it would seem that you've answered your question. i would say go for it, its what you want. you would regret it if you didnt

DangerMouse27

Yeah i want to..i really do!
But of course its her decision and ive to respect it if she says no and i dont think i could approach it again if i did get rejection.Ive avoided asking her twin for any information and i think il stay away from that course of action.
Next step if i do it is how to do it??hahaha.
If i leave it,will she act on feelings she might have or do girls do that?

VaioCruiser

Hagar wrote: »

If you truly love the girl give it everything you have got.
This is your life not a dress rehearsal, go for it.

100000% true. This is what it's all about.

VaioCruiser

DangerMouse27 wrote: »

Yeah i want to..i really do!
But of course its her decision and ive to respect it if she says no and i dont think i could approach it again if i did get rejection.Ive avoided asking her twin for any information and i think il stay away from that course of action.
Next step if i do it is how to do it??hahaha.
If i leave it,will she act on feelings she might have or do girls do that?

Why should she ? If you don't have the guts or care enough to ask her ?

Do you want her on not ??? Why are you so worried about a bit of rejection ? my goodness ... life is too short for this kind of thing. So what if she rejects you .... you back off and maybe try again another time ? Do you want her or not ? nothing worth having is easy.

All the best.

DangerMouse27

your right...absolutley right.Its hard to see the wood from the trees sometimes...
Either ways i will know...be it good or bad

trustno1

She probably has the exact same bumpety bump thing going on for you as well.. sounds like it from what you have written about her!.. but she could be embarrased by how she treated you (obviously not her fault due to the depression).. so I too would tell you to go for it, just think of all the time you both are wasting (if she feels the same way) by not approaching the subject!.. and if she doesn't feel the same - well then at least you know once and for all and you can move on. Best of luck!!..

Dude, you need to tell this girl that you love her and want her back. Life is too damn short for regrets and if anything happened to her in the morning you would regret this for the rest of your life.