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Partner's exes

  • 07-07-2009 5:11pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi guys,

    Feel a bit embarassed to even post this but what the hell........................... have been going out with my gf for 1.5 years now and very committed to each other, both of us say we've never felt like this about anyone before, etc. We're both in our 30s and get on great. We don't live together yet but would spend a lot of time with each other.

    The other day she asked me to browse through her photos on her computer and pick out a nice one of us to frame as we don't have any photos put up in either of our respective homes. In doing so, I came across photos of what was obviously some of her exes and her (pictured at weddings, etc). They were in the same folder where she keeps all her photos so I wasn't snooping around on the computer, I simply couldn't have missed them.

    Now it doesn't bother me that she has photos of her exes on the PC, she had a life before me and I don't expect evidence of that to disappear - she probably hasn't even looked at these photos in a long time. But ever since I saw them, I've just felt weird - jealous of her exes, jealous of the relationships they had with her, their sex life, etc. I can't judge myself on looks or anything but I wonder if she found them more attractive than me, more fun than me, etc. It just leaves this weird, envious, annoyed feeling in my head which I can't shake off despite how ridiculous it is. She's told me plainly before than none of her exes compare to me but when I start feeling jealous like this, it doesn't really matter what she's ever said to me.

    I know it's silly, I know it's insecurity on my part, and I obviously haven't said anything about it to her as she hasn't done anything wrong. But that doesn't get these thoughts out of my head.

    She's also been under a lot of stress at work and we haven't been sleeping together lately as much as we used to. I haven't mentioned this to her as we all go through stressful phases and I don't expect her to be up for it all the time, but I wonder if it's contributing to my insecurities about the photos.

    Not a really serious issue compared to some in here but hope someone can advise me as we have a great relationship and I don't want to ruin it.

    Thanks


Comments

  • #2
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    Unregistered wrote: »
    I know it's silly, I know it's insecurity on my part, and I obviously haven't said anything about it to her as she hasn't done anything wrong. But that doesn't get these thoughts out of my head.

    Well you are going to have to get over it, or you are going to sabbotage your relationship. The guys in the pictures are her exes for various reasons I'd imagine, and unless you realise that she is with you NOW, you could soon be nothing but a picture on her pc too.

    I have exes I get on well with, so there is no reason to shred and delete any memory of being with them. Thats just silly. Everyone is entitled to a past, yourself inclusive.


  • #3
    DangerMouse27
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 699 ✭✭✭DangerMouse27


    Hey dude!

    Be carefull you dont let your insecurites sabotage the relationship,like Abigayle said,they are exs for a reason.And if they are living in her computer folder then they cant do you any harm.
    She will prob get rid of them or do something with them in her own time.

    Id say she did it as some sort of test,see would you freak if you found it or what kind of pic you would select?..says alot if you picked the one of you plastered and her looking angry!:)
    The less you mention of it the more impressed she will be,be Steve Silvermint!
    Let nothing faze you.
    Pics are grand!
    Now me,i had an ex who used to meet these exs,as friends!.

    Claimed it was all good but hold on horsey!
    I ended it with her because my policy is simple...

    Do unto others as they would do unto you!

    Pics are harmless


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