Alcohol issue

LegacyUser

Ok, I (32) have been seeing my current girlfriend (33) for the past 10 months. A long distance thing that has worked out well so far. She teaches and is now off for the summer so we'll be seeing lots more of each other. My only issue in the relationship so far is that she can't really handle her drink - pissed after a few glasses of wine, to the point where it bugs me.

There was an incident upon meeting her family for the first time over christmas where she got very drunk (I was embarressed, though nobody else seemed to be) and since then I've been quite sensitive to the issue. She doesn't drink excessively that often and is aware of my feelings regarding her in that state.

Long story short, she rang me last night quite pissed rambling on about something i'd rather have spoken about sober. I told her to call me tomorrow - sober - she was in a huff and I turned my phone off. Am I over reacting?

I have other male friends whom I find painful when drunk, but in my girlfriend I find it particularly annoying. I should add that we're otherwise really well suited and things have been developing wonderfully well up to now.

What I'd be interested to know from other folk out there is wheather you have experienced something similar, or am I alone in my intolerance of my infrequently pissed girlfriend (I drink also, but moderatley)

Oh The Humanity

Hm, hard to know.

Do you dissapprove of drunkness.....more so in a woman?

Christmas....you say you were embarassed but no-one else was......is it possible you are the one out of step, rather than everyone else?

Are you tightly wound and controlling?

I think it was the height of ignorance to turn off your phone, a bit like punishing a naughty child rather than the actions of an equal adult.

Beetlebum

I think you sound very controlling. She got drunk at Christmas time...shock horror!! The majority of people get drunk at Christmas time, it is called teh silly season afterall.

She is a grown woman and I could understand if she was drinking heavily all the time but you say it's infrequent. I know how annoying drunk people can be particularly if you're sober so maybe ask her not to call you drunk unless she really needs to.

i'm sure you have some vices of your own too. If a guy I was seeing turned his phone off and was embarassed by my being drunk at Christmas I think I would walk. You really do come across as being quite stern, like a father figure type.

Saruman

Unregistered wrote: »

Am I over reacting?

Yes

You said she does not drink too much or often so there is no alcohol issue with her, its you have the issue with how you view alcohol in that case.

It is ok to get a little drunk sometimes.

LegacyUser

Sorry, I should have elaborated - my phone turned itself off - didn't want to get into the technicalities of my now broken phone. Suffice to say she coundn't call me back on it and I couldn't text or call her.

I have never considered myself controlling. I'm very easy going in many respects. I may have been out of step at the party/family gathering but it did end up with her slashing her arm when she fell against a mirror. 8 months later, she still has the scar. I carried her to bed that night. I made my feelings clear that I didn't want to be a situation similar to that again.

If the shoe was on the other foot I suppose I wouldn't like to be told that i'm an annoying drunk, but I think best to be open about things that cause tension.

reprazant

Are you saying you don't want her to get drunk?

If so, do you get drunk? Because if you do you are being completely hypocritical.

LegacyUser

Not at all - I don't mind her getting drunk. I just don't want to entertain drunken phone conversations when I'm quite sober.

I think the outcome of this will be that I make it clear that unless completely neccesary, I'd rather not have drunken phone conversations.

reprazant

Oh, sorry. I seemed to have misread the issue at large.

Don't think anyone really enjoys a long-winded, one-sided drunked phone-call but these are the things you must put up with.

It is a fair possibilily that she will have to put up some late night drunken calls herself from you at some stage in the relationship.