Inexperienced female - bad in bed, please help

LegacyUser

hi

i dont know if im allowed discuss things like this here, so sorry if its too graphic. But i need help
Ive been with my boyf (1st serious and sexual relationship) for 2yrs now and everythings great, except that i think im crap in bed. He would never say it but im pretty sure i am.

Mainly its to do with giving oral sex and handjobs. I tried giving a handjob before but he really didnt like it and made me stop so i dont even want to try that again. He likes oral sex but ive never once made him cum from it...so usually its used as part of foreplay. But i really would like to be better at it. Ive asked him and he has told me what to do (using his hand and sucking at the same time) but he requires too much intensity and i just cant do it for that long (i get tired) so he never even comes close to cumming. Sometimes he even starts losing his erection, which is quite embarrassing for me and proves im crap at it.

Also one thing ive repeatedly said to him is that he just lies there and makes no noise or shows any sign of encouragment so i never know if im boring him or if its good. He says he's just not the type to make noises etc..

One other thing , is it normal for guys to not be that turned on by other foreplay that doesnt involve his penis...like sucking nipples etc...he doesnt seem to be that interested in that - its all about the penis.

any advice, help, opinions please?

Kimia

Don't feel bad - you sound like you're very eager to learn and any man would be lucky to have a girlfriend that's so up for pleasing her boyfriend! Although your post sounds a little bit too much about 'is he happy with me?' than 'am I happy with my sex life?'

I think the main thing is to be enthusiastic. I know what you mean about the no noise thing - I hate that you never know if you're having any effect if you know what i mean!

I'd say try not to overthink it too. Sometimes we're so hell bent on being 'good in bed' technically that we forget it's supposed to be a fun experience with a bit of laughs thrown in not some intense 'looking into each others eyes' load of b*llox.

LegacyUser

It might be a bit of a general statement, but I think when it comes to sex, a guy will be pretty quick to tell his other half if he isn't being satisfied properly...especially after a 2 yr relationship and also given you've brought it up...if he was thinking you were bad in bed, it would have been the perfect opportunity to say so...and he didnt!!

I'm thinking you are probably a lot better than you give yourself credit for and the fact you are open to communicating with him about him makes you even better. Like Kimia says, stop overthinking and have some fun

VaioCruiser

Hi OP....

Unregistered wrote: »

Mainly its to do with giving oral sex and handjobs. I tried giving a handjob before but he really didnt like it and made me stop so i dont even want to try that again.

Are you learning from porn video ? because if so, they are way too rough for normal guys usually.

He likes oral sex but ive never once made him cum from it...so usually its used as part of foreplay. But i really would like to be better at it. Ive asked him and he has told me what to do (using his hand and sucking at the same time) but he requires too much intensity and i just cant do it for that long (i get tired) so he never even comes close to cumming.

I honestly think this is often misunderstood and again comes from porn movies. Oral to orgasm is not a huge thing for most guys. It is exactly what you say.... part of sex ... part of the build up ... part of the whole thing.

Sometimes he even starts losing his erection, which is quite embarrassing for me and proves im crap at it.

This is MOST likely because you are trying too hard...

Also one thing ive repeatedly said to him is that he just lies there and makes no noise or shows any sign of encouragment so i never know if im boring him or if its good. He says he's just not the type to make noises etc..

Well that is not a good thing from him. So he is not perfect He needs to give some feedback. This is so important when making love.

One other thing , is it normal for guys to not be that turned on by other foreplay that doesnt involve his penis...like sucking nipples etc...he doesnt seem to be that interested in that - its all about the penis.

First there is no such things as 'normal'. Most guys would enjoy those things, but it depends on the context.

Xiney

OP, this isn't the place for specific sex advice. There is a sex & sexuality forum available to subscribers.

However, a piece of advice: great sex is all down to communication. Ask him if he likes what you're doing, ask him what he'd like you to do next. Tell him what you want him to do to you as well.