Over-friendly Girlfriend

LegacyUser

Hi, looking for advice. I've been with my girlfriend for over 2 months now. Over the weekend we were out with my friends, it was her first time meeting them. A friends of one of my friend's brother arrived later on in the night and was introduced to my girlfriend. My gf and this guy spent most of the night talking, I genuinely didn't mind as I was chatting to my friends and trust my gf. However what did annoy me was she spent so much time talking to the other guy he thought he was in with a chance! He followed her to the bar, offered to buy her a drink, at one point in their conversation he was touching her face and at the end of the night told her that if me and her didn't work out to give him a shout! I didn't see or hear any of this happening and am glad I didn't as I'd have created a scene. Up until that point she thought he was just being nice but I could tell it was more than that, given his body language. When she told me what he'd said and done I was amazed she was so naive but knew about her over friendliness, she's had problems with stalkers in the past.

I've been running it over in my mind since then and am secure enough in my relationship to know the other guy isn't a threat and that my gf genuinely believed he was just being nice. One of my female friends told me the next day she thought my gf needed to stop talking to the other guy and start talking to me! Another friend who arrived later thought my gf and yer man were an item, not me and her! I told her on the way home in the taxi that she had a lot to learn about guys and the reason he spent so long talking to her was to get her number and lay the groundwork for a future potential conquest.

I guess I'm looking for advice on how to slay the green eyed monster who has only reared its ugly head in the days since but not at the time. Also to not feel like I have to watch or mind my gf when we're out and about which I've never felt before Sat night?

Oh The Humanity

Hold up there now.

I was amazed she was so naive but knew about her over friendliness, she's had problems with stalkers in the past.

Yes, it is amazing that someone who has had problems with stalkers in the past would allow this to go on. Amazing to the point that is not very believable. Pretty girls can always make gullible men believe that they do nothing to encourage these 'stalkers' but that is rarely the case. I know I used to be a bit like it when I was young, I am ashamed to admit!

my gf genuinely believed he was just being nice

Did she now. Dont be so naive OP. She is enjoying the flattery and allowing someone to touch her face and give her that line without straightening him out is bang out of line.

I used to think it was good enough to just say nothing and well it wasn't my fault if boys got the wrong idea blah blah blah.....but I learned that being in a trusting relationship includes not encouraging these 'stalkers' by saying nothing.

Its amazing how the stalkers dissappear after you tell them you have a boyfriend etc.

Its an oldie but a goldie OP. Tell her to shape up or ship out. The dopey card isnt gonna cut it unless you let it.

puglover

Only niavety that I can see is yours OP. Oh the Humanity couldn't have said it better.

I too was guilty of this when I was younger. Having said that, if I was seeing someone that I was really about it wouldn't happen.

LegacyUser

OP here. Just had it out with her on the phone, didn't go well. Her attitude was that if I believed everything that had happened to her in her life was her fault then...open ended statement which was obviously meant to end "then we're finished". The "everything in her life" part refers back to a violent boyfriend who repeatedly beat the s**t out of her. She says she's over it having gone to counselling but I think she's lumped her issue of over-friendliness and stalkers in with the "not my fault" mentality needed to get over something like that. She also says she told the guy on Sat night that she didn't appreciate her face being touched by someone she doesn't know but it's the first time she told me this. As of now she's asked me not to call her for the next few days to give her time to calm down. Despite the ensuing fight I'm glad I raised the matter, the issue of her over-friendliness would have come up at some point, may as well be now. Fingers crossed we can meet up and sort it out. Wish me luck

glaitjir

shes like every other girl- they all love attention!! ..ask her how she would feel if you were spending the whole night flirting with some other girl..acting jelous is a major turn off to girls so ur in a difficult place.. worst thing you can do is to cling to her next time shes out..if you trust her let her know this but next time your out play her at her own game.. find a hot girl and chat her up-or better yet one of her friends- dangerous stuff but mit work.. this other guy mit not give up but you gotta be carful so that you dont drive her away with insecurity and jelousy..
good luck

Wagon

Unregistered wrote: »

OP here. Just had it out with her on the phone, didn't go well. Her attitude was that if I believed everything that had happened to her in her life was her fault then...open ended statement which was obviously meant to end "then we're finished". The "everything in her life" part refers back to a violent boyfriend who repeatedly beat the s**t out of her. She says she's over it having gone to counselling but I think she's lumped her issue of over-friendliness and stalkers in with the "not my fault" mentality needed to get over something like that. She also says she told the guy on Sat night that she didn't appreciate her face being touched by someone she doesn't know but it's the first time she told me this.

She probably shoud have told you that earlier. Also, why would she spend the whole night talking with him and not spending even a little time with you?

As of now she's asked me not to call her for the next few days to give her time to calm down.

Yes. In a way it's your fault isn't it?:rolleyes:

to be honest mate, i wouldn't be too worried if she doesn't want to continue. I mean there's naivety and then there's ignorance. I think what she did that night was more down to the second one to be honest.

messygirl

Can i ask what age ye are? i was 20 first time i met my boyfs friends, got mad drunk, chatted to his friends trying to be the good girlfriend, ie being nice to the friends (its very important to make an effort with the friends). My boyf was off talking to his other mates so what was i to do? Not talk to them? If your girlf was in this position (i dont know but its a possibility) what was she to do, turn around to the only guy paying attention to her and say srorry you have filled your quota of talk time now i just have to find someone else to talk to? No offence but you were talking to your friends and someone was being nice to her, she felt safe because it was your friend and she thought (fairly as well) that she was safe and maybe she liked talking to him cos he was sound. she didnt take his number, she didnt respond she told you straight away in private. If she chats to your friend all night because he is talking to her and being nice and she thinks he doesnt want anything from her why should that be her fault? Maybe she wanted to talk to you but you thought she was grand talking to someone else. some of my boyf friends think im attractive, i've caugt a few of them checking me out and tld my boyf and we have had a laugh about it. i can understand why she is upset to tell the truth.

"One of my female friends told me the next day she thought my gf needed to stop talking to the other guy and start talking to me!" Maybe you need to pay attention to your girlfriend when you are out and go over to her once in a while to give her the option of talking to you. Your female friend was out of order saying that.

Another maybe, maybe she doesnt recognise when someone is coming on to her, and she shouldnt be burned at the stake and given out to for it.

Sorry if i seem harsh but it is fairly annoying when you are out and your boyf is talkin to his friends and you are there looking for someone in the group of mostly males who is willing to talk to you and you want to talk to him but at the same time you want him to have a laugh with his mates.

I'lllearnye

I'm with a few other posters here in that it took me a while to realise that men will only talk to you in a bar or club because they want to get with you, not because they think you're a nice girl and they reeeeaaallly want to hear your thoughts on the dot com boom (in my day ). I could never understand why my boyfriend would get thick when all I was doing was talking to this 'nice gentleman here'. :pac:
Suffice it to say, I now know that in bars and clubs, men aren't that interested in my thoughts on the recession, and are only talking about it because of the innuendo that goes along with 'bust' and 'upturn':p
You were right to talk to your girlfriend because it's an issue that would keep coming up. However, she will genuinely think she didn't do anything wrong and will probably be quite affronted that you think she did. If you are madly into her, careful how you go with this one.

Saucey-Susie

hopefully the break between the two of you will give you time to clear your head and figure out what you want. sometimes girls, even if they have a boyfriend/fiancee/husband, they wonder if they are still attractive to the opposite sex and flirt a bit to get a reaction. i dont know if thats what she was doing tho

Dublin_Gunner

My GF used to be like that too (we're still together after 2 years though!), and I nipped that in the bud fairly quick. She says she didn't realise, and just being friendly (the usual) but the fact is she loved the attention.

Best thing to do - when a new party arrives to the group YOU introduce her to them, as your girlfriend. You're laying out the boundaries right there and then, and if the guy doesn't get the message (even if your girlfriend is still in la la land about it), you can at least give him a stern talking to / smack in the nose / whatever.

Then blame her on it for encouraging such behaviour lol

But don't ever stand for the 'you're just jealous' lark - jealousy is perfectly natural if your missus is off having a laugh/chat/grope with some randomer - likewise if you were to do the same I wonder how she'd feel...

Dublin_Gunner

Dublin_Gunner wrote: »

My GF used to be like that too (we're still together after 2 years though!), and I nipped that in the bud fairly quick. She says she didn't realise, and just being friendly (the usual) but the fact is she loved the attention.

She's so lucky she has you to do her thinking for her!

Best thing to do - when a new party arrives to the group YOU introduce her to them, as your girlfriend. You're laying out the boundaries right there and then, and if the guy doesn't get the message (even if your girlfriend is still in la la land about it), you can at least give him a stern talking to / smack in the nose / whatever.

That's right, be in charge and never trust her or have any confidence in her, that's the key to a successful relationship. Even better is to not let her talk!
Don't forget to start fights with guys who look at her and blame her if she's looking at anyone but you!

jelly&icecream

In fairness to her...it can be uncomfortable being introduced to your partners friends for the first time and I'm sure she was eager to be liked etc. Did you kinda go off talking to people and leave her to fend for herself for the evening? She might have been in a situation where she didn't want to be left sitting there not talking to people etc so she chatted away to the person that was showing some kind of an interest in her.

The whole face touching thing etc does seem a bit strange though and she really should have backed away when that happened. But the fact you didn't notice it at the time would suggest you weren't near her and were preoccupied with something else and maybe she didn't want to butt in/ come across as clingy by coming to find you. Did this guy know ye are going out?

Of course it could just be that she was subtly flirting with him and enjoying the attention! We don't know because we didn't witness it! By the sounds of it neither did you and you are hearing this second hand so be careful not to jump to conclusions...

LegacyUser

Hi, OP here, apologies for the long post. After a day of no contact yesterday I texted her this morning. Got a very long and angry reply which led initially to us breaking up by text! However I rang her and we talked for a bit, she was cold at first, talking about everything except me and her. When we started talking about us, she reaffirmed her intent to finish things but seemed to mellow out during the day thanks to my persistence via text! Rang her again over an hour ago and we chatted, talked about things and why she got so mad at me. She had told me not long after we met about an incident in a house she lived in. One of her house mates had developed a thing for her. It culminated in him being quite drunk one night and wandering into her room naked with an erection and trying to force her into giving him a BJ, actually grabbing her head, forcing her to her knees and moving her head towards his penis. She naturally enough freaked out, got him out of the room with the help of her other house mates (2 guys) and the next morning the other house mates kicked yer man out. Why the Gardai weren't involved I don't know but knowing her, she didn't want him losing his job! Anyways she took my comment "can you see why you have issues with stalkers" (no pun intended, seriously!) as a reference to that particular incident when I meant it in reference to the guys who had actually stalked her, both physically and by text. She still has issues over that night, totally blamed herself for the incident, thought I was being an asshole by referring to it and it really hurt her.

We're hopefully gonna meet up on Fri for a chat, she's got work tomorrow and has a meeting before work at 6 (she's a nurse, working night shifts this week). Have to say I've gone from the depths of despair to exchanging miss you texts with her, all in the space of a day. Defo rollercoaster of emotions!

Thanks for the replies guys. Just to give a bit more background info on ourselves, I'm 32, she's 28. I've been in love before and have had several loving relationships. In the short space of time we've been together we've told each other almost everything about each other (I say almost only from my perspective, a guy's gotta have some secrets right?...ha ha). She's had several bfs but no one she's ever loved. She says I'm the first guy she's ever truly loved and I believe her when she says that. WithShe's very innocent in affairs of the heart, I think this maybe a result of her violent ex and the crap she's endured from other guys as above. In short I think her lack of experience both in dating and being in love is a contributory factor to our argument as is my getting cross in order to raise an issue. Feel like a kid again and that has both it's good and bad points!

Messygirl - really appreciated what you had to say re feeling safe. She said this back as well that she felt safe talking to yer man as he was out with my friends brother and with our group. Even though I've only met the guy once before and don't consider him a friend, she wasn't to know that. As I said, I've nothing against the guy, he realised at the end of the night she was going home with me!

Dublin_Gunner - grow up mate! My gf ain't my possession, I'm not here to be her conscience either but as I've that bit more experience with relationships, I would like to be able to tell her what I felt was inappropriate about Sat night's behaviour in a more mature manner. Gonna make that effort from here on out

[Jackass]

If my girlfirend was at the bar with some dude letting him buy her drinks, touch her face and she stays with him for the whole night chatting, I'd be slightly pissed off to say the least.

I mean...did she not want to hang out with you? Get to know your friends? Why did she allow this guy to take all of her attention? And why would she let him touch her!!!!! I dunno man...that's not cool.

There is no way that she didn't understand what was going on and that this guy was interested and she 100% courted it by allowing it to go on. FACT. Tell her in the nicest possible way that you don't appreciate that. But I know if it was me, that would really bother me. Bother me to the extent that I would question if I want to get any deeper into this 2 month old relationship when she seems pretty open to approaches, and how that is going to affect me and us down the line. The second you worry about turning your back on your girlfriend on a night out, or what she's up to when you're not around, is the second you should realise you're in serious trouble and do you want to leave yourself open to this.

SarahSassy

glaitjir wrote: »

shes like every other girl- they all love attention!!

Its so amazing you have met them on in you 13 years on the planet .... :rolleyes:

OP, I would suggest that the truth of the situation falls somewhere 50% between ye. She is a bit silly and naive but also enjoys the attention, you trust her but are also a bit jeaous....

Wait and see what she says... Sounds like a lot of hassle for 2 months in..

IRISH RAIL

why didnt she tell you about the attempted rape?

VaioCruiser

Unregistered wrote: »

Hi, looking for advice. I've been with my girlfriend for over 2 months now. Over the weekend we were out with my friends, it was her first time meeting them. A friends of one of my friend's brother arrived later on in the night and was introduced to my girlfriend. My gf and this guy spent most of the night talking, I genuinely didn't mind as I was chatting to my friends and trust my gf. However what did annoy me was she spent so much time talking to the other guy he thought he was in with a chance! He followed her to the bar, offered to buy her a drink, at one point in their conversation he was touching her face and at the end of the night told her that if me and her didn't work out to give him a shout! I didn't see or hear any of this happening and am glad I didn't as I'd have created a scene. Up until that point she thought he was just being nice but I could tell it was more than that, given his body language. When she told me what he'd said and done I was amazed she was so naive but knew about her over friendliness, she's had problems with stalkers in the past.

I've been running it over in my mind since then and am secure enough in my relationship to know the other guy isn't a threat and that my gf genuinely believed he was just being nice. One of my female friends told me the next day she thought my gf needed to stop talking to the other guy and start talking to me! Another friend who arrived later thought my gf and yer man were an item, not me and her! I told her on the way home in the taxi that she had a lot to learn about guys and the reason he spent so long talking to her was to get her number and lay the groundwork for a future potential conquest.

I guess I'm looking for advice on how to slay the green eyed monster who has only reared its ugly head in the days since but not at the time. Also to not feel like I have to watch or mind my gf when we're out and about which I've never felt before Sat night?

Hi OP.

What I get from reading your post is a guy who has a lot to learn, but is making good progress.
Personally I thought your reaction to the whole evening out was about you. Dating for two months hardly gives such rights of control as you felt you had.

Your beef, though very limited, should have been with the guy who was paying a lot of attention to your gf and not with your gf.

You also pay far too much attention to what other people think and perceive to be happening. You need to learn that they don't matter, and if they think wrong, then it is about them and not you or your girlfriend.

The good thing about all this I think, but am not sure, is that you have become aware of the power of jealousy and how destructive it is. Jealousy is about our inner fears, our own panic at the possibility of loss.

Terodil

VaioCruiser wrote: »

Dating for two months hardly gives such rights of control as you felt you had.

This is not about 'rights of control' initially, this is about common decency and trust.

VaioCruiser wrote: »

Your beef, though very limited, should have been with the guy who was paying a lot of attention to your gf and not with your gf.

Why? the guy did not know initially that she was with the OP. What did he do wrong? -- nothing. Did the gf do wrong? Meh, my take: Some people will realise earlier or later what slippery slope they're on, but she definitely let it go too far when she let him touch her face. That's not naive, that's not good-natured, that's definitely playing it. She would have had a whole range of options (from walking away to pouring her glass over him), yet she *chose* to just let him continue, and to play the poor innocent good-natured girl to the OP.

OP -- I think you need to be rather clear on this, if your relationship is to have a chance: such behaviour is not on. To be perfectly honest, the chance seems very slim.

as125634do

Is it your insecurities or what? If such a problem why didnt you go up to her and whisk her away from this beast of a threat? Is that what she wants a hero?
But she 28 she had stalkers in the past and spent the whole night with her, pretty unbelievable. Either shes thick or cant control the divil in her.

ive had one before what happens when you are not there and she gets drunk and is too friendly does she get raped or just takes it? cheats?

Stay away get a lady who can look after herself bit of respect aye. twisted memory syndrome happened to me too me too me toooooo nooooo no no no no goddammit! bet you she is beautiful.

you can still do you must have patience and watch her like a hawk, thats a few opinions i could be wrong on all counts.

Dublin_Gunner

bluewolf wrote: »

She's so lucky she has you to do her thinking for her!

That's right, be in charge and never trust her or have any confidence in her, that's the key to a successful relationship. Even better is to not let her talk!
Don't forget to start fights with guys who look at her and blame her if she's looking at anyone but you!

Oh here we go with the womens lib crowd again. You completely took my post out of context, and attempted to make me look like some form of chauvinist.

Some girls are very naive & flirtatious, without even realising that they're a) attracting the wrong kind of attention b) making it seem like they're single when they're not c) making their bf's feel inadequate / second rate to some randomer.

Maybe it immaturity too at times.

I'd love to see some of you girls reactions if your other halfs were out with YOU, but decided to sit around flirting with and chatting to other women for the night, and not spending time with you.

Wibbs

VaioCruiser wrote: »

Your beef, though very limited, should have been with the guy who was paying a lot of attention to your gf and not with your gf.

I would disagree and it's one of the things that has always puzzled me. It's more up to her as your GF(ditto for BF's too) to decide the level of interaction. There's also an element of chauvinism too as it suggests the woman is incapable of dealing with unwanted attention and the guy must step in and fight over her with some randomer.

OK taking your jealousy stuff etc out of this, something doesn't quite add up for me. She spends all night with this guy, he's touching her face etc, yet she didn't think anything was up and/or he was just being friendly? And she's had a history of pushy guys and attempted sexual assault? And she's 28? There are really only three choices I can see; she's either dimmer than a 2 watt lightbulb, or she knows what's going on and likes the attention if only subconsciously, or she was píssed off with you leaving her alone for the night and was scoring points.

On the dim score; I have known women that were otherwise clued in, be complete morons when it came to men and reading men's intentions. It happens, though usually by their late 20's they had some notion. It's hardly rocket science. Now she says she told your man she wasn't happy with the face touching incident. OK, cool, but did she walk away at that point? If not she needs to learn to cop on. The other variant of the clueless is the woman who is afraid to "cause a scene" and is too socially eager to please. The ones who feel bad saying "no" basically. Another thing that's valuable for her to learn. Hopefully her counseling will address that as it's gets a fair few in trouble.

Dublin_Gunner wrote:

Some girls are very naive & flirtatious, without even realising that their a) attracting the wrong kind of attention b) making it seem like they\re single when they're not c) making their bf's feel inadequate / second rate to some randomer.

I would agree completely. I would add the subconscious need for attention too. If they feel they're not getting it from their partner, they may look for it elsewhere.

messygirl

from what the op said she did tell him it was inappropriate and told him not to do it again, my guess is she doesnt know how to stick up for herself and is too nice for her own good (i dont like telling people to pee off either because you never know who they might be, i stay pleasant and say nice talking to youim going over here) it sounds like she was leaving you have your space on a night out and this guy just started talking to her and she felt safe. she probably didnt want to create a scene because it was the first time she was meeting your friends, and everyone knows guys dont dig drama queens

most people dont share almost rape stories with their boyf of 2 months, its a personal scary thing to have happened and she could be embarrassed by it, she might think what will he say? will he say that its my fault? She told you about stalkers, my guess is she doesnt want you thinking she is defenceless and a danger magnet

Give the girl a break, say you dont like thinking other people think she is single, ask why she acted that way, ie did she like the attention? was he being nice and chatty? were you busy with friends and thought she was ok with a friend of a friend?

regarding the "ild like to see womens reactions if a man did that" my boyf is a natural flirt, it annoys me but if he is drunk i just tell him in the morning that it upset me and i didnt like how he acted and i tell him what exactly it is i didnt like, he feels bad but at least ive told him and thats tat, its not worth breaking up over. thats how he is when he is drunk, and im not going to change him because i love him and i know everyone has their faults

I would go by the three strike rule for new relationships, this would be a strike one (simply because she didnt talk to you and she is 28,she should know better) two more strikes and dont waste any more time (of course she can negate any strikes by doing something incredibly sweet like looking after you when you are sick and strikes are cancelled after 3-4weeks) I find its a good indicator of how much hassle you will face and how much un-necessary drama you will have. (it is also fairly immature but when you dont know what to do its better than spending years with someone who causes you continous hassle and drama and heartache)

Please take this advice with a pinch of salt because i dont know the situation but from what you said that would be my take!

pwd

http://www.heretical.com/berne/rapo.html

There are girls who entertain attention from other guys but never give the impression that anything is on the cards, and are genuinely loyal. Then there are girls who do give the impression that something is going to happen and aren't loyal at all. Girls who embrace a victim mentality are probably in the latter category.

VaioCruiser

bluewolf wrote: »

She's so lucky she has you to do her thinking for her!

That's right, be in charge and never trust her or have any confidence in her, that's the key to a successful relationship. Even better is to not let her talk!
Don't forget to start fights with guys who look at her and blame her if she's looking at anyone but you!

Indeed Indeed.

It is so sad and tragic how many relationships are damaged and/or destroyed by petty jealousy and control obsessed partners. The desperate insecurity of some people who are brought up to believe that when someone dates them, they get some kind of right of control over them, and a right to be the only person they are allowed to enjoy themselves with.

It is sad because it is so destructive and it is tragic because it achieves nothing but unhappiness in both parties. It does not increase the love or affection that their partners have for them - quite the opposite.

Successful people enjoy a partner who is with them because they WANT to be with them; who are free to enjoy other people's company because the great pleasure of having a lovely mate is that they CHOSE to come back every time.

If there were one thing young people can do to have happier and more satisfying relationships, it is to refuse to give in to their petty jealousy.

All the best.

LegacyUser

OP here. Thankfully it all looks good, we've spent ages chatting on the phone again today. We're hopefully gonna meet up tomorrow for a bit, fingers crossed she can make it with her work commitments.

Messigirl, have to say your post was spot on. She actually is that nice whereby she didn't want to make a scene on her first night out with my friends nor feel like she was being rude to the guy. They were having a decent chat about work, apparently she looked after yer mans mother in the ward she works. She thought it was an innocent, friendly chat up until he touched her face describing something to her. I tried in my ham fisted way during the week to tell her at that point she should have moved away from him which she now sees as the appropriate thing to have done. Even though she told him not to touch her face, he was still trying it on as she hadn't moved away. As for the attempted rape, she told me about that incident a few weeks after we met. There was a deluge of information from each other about our lives in the first few weeks and that incident was part of it. As you said, I thought she was ok chatting with a friend of a friend and was oblivious to what was happening. Had I any clue I'd have got involved in the conversation or attempted to move him out of her personal space (subtly of course!)


Anyhoo, we live and learn. I think we're gonna come out of this a much stronger couple. As my sister said to me, sounds more like a teething problem at the start of a relationship than a reason to breakup. Thankfully she appears to be right. Thanks to all who replied, amazing the range of opinions on the matter.

LegacyUser

sorry pal but your gf knows exactly what she's doing... I wouldn't be surprised if she exaggerated some of the stuff she told you either... also to get the guy to 'say what he said' to her, she must have been doing some flirting or leading on of some kind... and shes telling you all this to make you jealous and its working obviously. dont fall for these horrible girls nasty games, shes trying to mind fcuk you. i'd listen to that female mate of yours, bet she can see right through your gf and know exactly what shes playing at....

Shes gonna break your heart mate.

messygirl

Great news OP! Got to say your girlfr sounds a lot like me when I was 18/19 (apart from the abusive relationship and rape escape) I was too busy skipping around lalalala in my own world to notice other people's intentions and was self conscious about not making drama.

Nice to hear ye are having another chance! But definately tell her what annoys you (in a non judgemental way). People can change for one another but it takes more than two months and she will change over tim with your help. My boyfriend has helped me realise Im a walk over and although I dont like hearing it Im much more assertive and its because of his love and patience, and I've changed him as well so its an even relationship!

Best of luck!

lolo26

She knows exactly what she's doing but is playing little miss innocent. I know a dozen girls just like her, some of them friends of mine! They do it for attention, for a reaction, to make their b/f jealous, to boost their own self esteem....the list goes on. She's 28, a grown woman, not a naive 18 year old keen to impress her new boyfriends friends or whatever. You're gonna have problems with that one. Best of luck.

Trapattoni

I believe most guys experience this kind of situation at least once in their lives

To be honest I feel for you as I have been in this exact sit once or maybe twice before and I know how sickening it can make you feel.

My only advice to you is to roll with it for now (hardest thing to do I know)...from my exp it tends to be something that happens early on in a relationship - it's completely unecessary if you ask me but she's possibly testing you a little even if it is subconciously being done on her part ... another possibility is that she's doing it out of ignorance not realising she should be a little more respectful to "her man" but this is something which mends itself in time and thats why I advise to roll with it for now.


I would just like to make one more point - that guy who chatted her up ? This is the exact type of bloke that makes me sick to the stomach...there's so many of them out there....full of arrogance and no respect for NEITHER their own sex or for women.

Some lads are just too stupid to realise there are unwritten rules between real men...you DONT try to chat up another guys girl and you DONT interfere with another guys relationship....if you do wither of these well you're just a [EMAIL="w$%@$"]w$%@$[/EMAIL]# who doesnt deserve anyones attention never mind the commitment of a decent woman.

Thats my rant over with - I'm on your side pal ... I hope I don't have to put up with any of this shhit with what i hope is now my new girlfriend

Best of luck