Minding other peoples' kids

LegacyUser

Hi,

I'm a 20 year old and guy and have been minding my 7 year old brother while my mother is working this summer, as I'm currently unemployed myself. Obviously he is my brother so I have no problem looking after him and we get on great etc etc, but in general I am really bad with children, so I have said that I'm not comfortable with him having friends over when I am minding him, but this is proving to be a problem for all involved - a storming row broke out as she was on her way to work this evening, as he had just invited a friend over, and she spoke to them about it so now my brother is quite annoyed with me as she came out with "Sorry ____, you have to go home, _____'s brother says he can't have friends over".. which made me feel horrible, and I thought was very irresponsible on her part.

It's just that being responsible for other kids makes me feel uncomfortable, as I am often nervous around other children, and tend to worry quite a bit when he has friends over. I know it's not fair for him to be told he can't have his mates over, but at the same time I feel like I'm not cut out to look after them. I'm curious to see if other people think I am overreacting, as my mother thinks it is ridiculous that this is an issue for me. Am I just being stupid?

prinz

No you're not. Deep down if you don't feel capable or do not want the responsibility of being the guardian of other kids then that is perfectly reasonable and understandable.

Oh The Humanity

I can understand you being uncomfortable to be honest.

If the friend starts running amok and wrecking the place its not like you can discipline him or anything as he is not your kid or even your brother.

The kids will view it as a 'free gaff' and act accordingly.

I'd say your Mam is stressed and has just forgotton that when you have no experience with kids its very intimidating looking after one you dont know.

prinz

tbh I avoid being put in charge of nieces and nephews, for any length of time, unless completely necessary. Always have the feeling of a knot in my stomach saying 'omg what if x happens, what if y happens, how would i forgive myself' etc. Like OTH said your mother probably feels she has enough to be thinking and worrying about and just snapped.

seamus

You're being perfectly reasonable. Looking after a sibling or your own child or even a niece or nephew is a whole other world away from looking after someone else's child. You don't know this child, you know nothing about him and you feel uncomfortable acting as a guardian for him as prinz says.

Perfectly understandable, perfectly rational behaviour. If when I was 20, someone had asked me to look after their 7-year-old child, my response would have been, "Ok, but where's his cage?".

Even now (at 27), I'd be happy that I could ensure that they wouldn't die or get hurt, but I wouldn't have a clue how to entertain them.

sunnyside

I wouldn't be great with kids either but a 7 year old should be easier to keep an eye on than a small baby who would be much more responsibility. For example it would be easy to recognise if something was wrong with a 7 year old, they would probably even tell you but that would be much more difficult with a baby.

I think people just assume that anybody responsible can babysit.

Mary D

I hate minding other people's kids. My brothers and sisters are always trying to land me with their children. If they want to go out,I don't understand why they can't pay a babysitter. I used to do it for them but them it got out of hand, I was being asked to do it every other weekend. I don't even like children. I just started saying no, they soon got used to it and now they target my other childless sister, who hates babysitting but won't say no.

LegacyUser

Mary D wrote: »

I hate minding other people's kids. My brothers and sisters are always trying to land me with their children. If they want to go out,I don't understand why they can't pay a babysitter. I used to do it for them but them it got out of hand, I was being asked to do it every other weekend. I don't even like children. I just started saying no, they soon got used to it and now they target my other childless sister, who hates babysitting but won't say no.

Haha sadly that's not an option for me - I am living in her home so it would be a bit cheeky to say I'm not looking after him. I don't mind looking after my brother anyway he's a different proposition to other children completely

Cheers for the responses so far - food for thought and its good to know other people agree. Just noticed his friend who was unceremoniously evicted earlier hide behind a bush when he saw me at the front door - Agh, so p*ssed off at what happened earlier, has only made things worse!!