Thoughts of other people...

LegacyUser

Id just like to hear people's thoughts on masturbating to thoughts of other people you know while going out with someone. Is it as bad as cheating? Would you be horrifically offended if you found out your bf was jacking off to dirty thought about one of his girl mates?

Das Kitty

Unregistered wrote: »

Would you be horrifically offended if you found out your bf was jacking off to dirty thought about one of his girl mates?

One of his female friends, yes I would! But how would you possibly know?

Oh, missed the first bit, no it's not as bad as cheating.

Oh The Humanity

They jack off to everything under the sun, including your friends, relatives, women on tv/films/magazines, everything, nothing is sacred!!!!

The problem arises when they are indescrete about it, such as leaving a picture of your friend on the bed with a sticky tissue beside it.....

How have you found out?

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

weird

Unregistered wrote: »

Id just like to hear people's thoughts on masturbating to thoughts of other people you know while going out with someone. Is it as bad as cheating? Would you be horrifically offended if you found out your bf was jacking off to dirty thought about one of his girl mates?

I don't know of a man who doesn't do this.

shellyboo

Mleh. I wouldn't be too fussed unless he was rubbing it in my face and trying to make me feel bad about it. What goes on inside a person's own head is their own business, imo. There are worse, more worrying things he could masturbating to.

It's *definitely* not as bad as cheating, but I can see that some women would be pretty upset at the thought of their bf thinking of someone else in a sexual context. I guess you just need to figure out if your gf is that type of woman!

VaioCruiser

weird wrote: »

I don't know of a man who doesn't do this.

Or a woman !

It's not any kind of variation of cheating whatsoever. It is perfectly normal.

prinz

weird wrote: »

I don't know of a man who doesn't do this.

VaioCruiser wrote: »

Or a woman !
It's not any kind of variation of cheating whatsoever. It is perfectly normal.

I don't masturbate over my friends . I could understand a randomer / celebrity / slight acquaintance but a close friend? That seems odd to me, like bringing an unhealthy dynamic to a platonic friendship. Add to that I physically wouldn't be capable of it, my friends who are girls, are just that, friends first, girls second, so I have no vested sexual interest whatsoever.

I know I would be very much put out if my gf mastrubated over a guy she was friends with, close to, and saw on a daily or weekly basis.

shellyboo wrote: »

It's *definitely* not as bad as cheating, but I can see that some women would be pretty upset at the thought of their bf thinking of someone else in a sexual context.

'Someone else'... it happens, someone they know well and are friends with... hmm line drawing time in my book.

Otis Driftwood

What a ridiculous question.

It is not even remotely close to cheating.

Barracudaincork

I have a feeling the OP hasnt found anything out re her boyfriend actually thinking of his female friend, i think this is a case of the OP being insecure and thinking its the female friend he thinks of, rather than the other 1 billion women he could be thinking of.

While thinking of a female friend is not wrong, it sure is weird especially if they are really good friends.

No matter who the person (either male or female) is thinking of, its certainly not cheating and i would consider it normal to masturbate in a relationship.

OP why are you asking this question? What happened that has caused you to think and ask this question?

LegacyUser

shellyboo wrote: »

Mleh. I wouldn't be too fussed unless he was rubbing it in my face

that'd worry me too.

shellyboo

Unregistered wrote: »

that'd worry me too.

Clever :rolleyes:

LegacyUser

Is it odd to tell your OH that you were thinking of them while doing it? what sort of reaction should one expect?

galwaybob

Unregistered wrote: »

Id just like to hear people's thoughts on masturbating to thoughts of other people you know while going out with someone. Is it as bad as cheating? Would you be horrifically offended if you found out your bf was jacking off to dirty thought about one of his girl mates?

Dont be fcuking ridiculous.:rolleyes:

Tar.Aldarion

He is allowed to be attracted to others and think of them, everybody does it when by themselves. There is a difference between that and cheating, a difference between attraction in thought and love.

shellyboo

Unregistered wrote: »

Is it odd to tell your OH that you were thinking of them while doing it? what sort of reaction should one expect?

I don't think it's odd, I'd be pretty pleased if, out of the whole realm of imagination, a partner was thinking of me, tbh.

But again, everyone's different. We're probably going to need more details!

Nevyn

Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

tbh

Don't ask, Don't tell.

VaioCruiser

Just to throw in some additional information ... it is VERY common for married partners, after a few years, to think of 3rd party's while they are in the middle of sex . . and approaching orgasm. Of course it sounds ..... insane !!! but it's very very true.... I have heard it said by MANY acquaintances and in a few books about surveys.
There's a joke about it... goes something like two married are having sex for what seems like an age.... and after a lot of huffing and puffing they settle down without orgasming... when one turns to the other and says " You couldn't think of anyone either ?"

Adamisconfused

How would the partner ever find out what thought he has in his head? Surely, he wouldn’t be silly and insensitive enough to tell anyone.
It’s not cheating since it takes two to tango. One person can’t cheat with him/herself.
If a person feels guilty then they should look for something else to do with their hands.