Is there such a thing as "Leagues"?

LegacyUser

Apologies if this has been discussed or posted before, I just want to know if there is such a thing as Leagues?

I'm seeing someone who is gorgeous, I mean really sexy and gorgeous, with a great body, and its making me wonder what he sees in me. I've been told I'm good looking but I'm not sure if I believe it. I'm just worried people will wonder what hes doing with me.

The whole thing has got me to thinking about leagues and the concept of punching above ones weight. Does this exist? Should I dump him for someone more in my league (whatever that may be)?

Sounds petty, but this is really getting me!

Thanks in advance

Victor

Unregistered wrote: »

Should I dump him for someone more in my league (whatever that may be)?

If you are happy with each other, then no, do not break up becuase of the figments of someone else's imagination.

CCCP^

Shallow people believe in leagues. There is no such thing. Maybe you don't have alot of self-confidence, but don't square everything down to looks - there is alot more to people than just how they look, trust me.

MrStuffins

I thought the same thing when i first got with my GF. But now it's insane to think we wouldnt be together. We're so alike and get on so great that i've forgotten all about this leagues business.

She's still much hotter than i am, but we've become something that transends all that bull!

LegacyUser

MrStuffins wrote: »

I thought the same thing when i first got with my GF. But now it's insane to think we wouldnt be together. We're so alike and get on so great that i've forgotten all about this leagues business.

She's still much hotter than i am, but we've become something that transends all that bull!

aww thats really lovely

LostinKildare

Unregistered wrote: »

Should I dump him for someone more in my league (whatever that may be)?

What?? No! Enjoy each other and be happy! Attraction is a complex thing, don't quash it with self-doubt.

VaioCruiser

Unregistered wrote: »

Apologies if this has been discussed or posted before, I just want to know if there is such a thing as Leagues?

I'm seeing someone who is gorgeous, I mean really sexy and gorgeous, with a great body, and its making me wonder what he sees in me. I've been told I'm good looking but I'm not sure if I believe it. I'm just worried people will wonder what hes doing with me.

The whole thing has got me to thinking about leagues and the concept of punching above ones weight. Does this exist? Should I dump him for someone more in my league (whatever that may be)?

NO.

It means you have a guy who is mature and wise enough to know that what matters is not the packaging but the person inside. You have a hot partner, so be happy and flattered and enjoy it, and enjoy that he is so wise.

prinz

The concept of 'leagues' was invented by people who needed the ego boost of being able to rate people based on outward appearance and then attempt to play above their level etc, and disregard others they saw as below their level. In practice there is no such thing.

You're in a happy, stable, relationship... therefore you are both 'premiership' material in each other's eyes. Do not miss the opportunity.

aoibhebree

I'm sorry if this comes across as a bit harsh, but this is the way I see it.

If you were seeing a guy who you didn't consider to be as "hot" as you, would you consider this to be a problem, and would you break up with him over it?

If the answer is yes, then to be honest I don't think you're mature enough to be in a grown-up relationship. Just my opinion!

G86

Leagues don't exist because a generic idea of beauty does not exist. You might percieve your partner as being out of your league..but the thing to remember is that they might feel the exact same way about you! I'll admit I've dated some pretty confident guys but I've never once felt that they were better than me or that they could do better; you should never feel like that in a relationship. You just need to be a bit more confident and think about all of the things that you have going for you, because trust me, confidence is one of the most attractive things in someone. He's obviously mad about you, why would he be seeing you if he wasn't?!

Tar.Aldarion

No such thing as leagues, you just need a bit of confidence. Looks aren't everything and he obviously is attracted to you. I love the imperfections of a girl, they make her yours. Personality can also make you more attractive to somebody, if you see somebody on the street and don't think much of them but fall in love with them, they can become the most beautiful thing in the world to you. You need to take pride in who you are more.

willy wonka

It's a bit of a grey area but I do think leagues exist.

Looks are subjective definitely, but GENERALLY good looking people are with good looking people and not-so-great looking with not-so-great looking people. If you see a not-so-great looking guy with a great looking girl then they are the exception to the rule, IMO.

Isn't it known in psychology that we generally seek partners of similar attractiveness as assurance that they don't go looking for something better?

Personally I look for the whole package: looks, personality, sense of humour, etc, so don't think I'm shallow .

I think the OP is probably a good looking girl but is suffering from poor self confidence.

LegacyUser

I've often thought about leagues myself.

For instance you're out in a nightclub and some stunning girl walks by.
You admire her looks for a few seconds or more (:D), and think "nah she's out of my league".

You can't deny this happens regularly in alot of places.

Amy33

Of course leagues exist, and from what I've seen men rarely stay faithful to women in a "lower" league to them, men tend to be constantly on the lookout for something better.

Wibbs

trish990 wrote: »

Of course leagues exist, and from what I've seen men rarely stay faithful to women in a "lower" league to them, men tend to be constantly on the lookout for something better.

Actually I would say exactly the same of women too. Indeed in my personal experience I have found women are more likely to keep an eye out for something "better", particularly in long termers and because its more of a sellers market in general they have more opportunity. As a general rule more women leave longtermers, not the other way around. Neither gender is immune to it.

I would also say leagues exist. People tend to go like for like. In situations where I have met a longtermer couple where they seemed really incongruous, the more I got to know them the more the reasons why the difference was ignored. The really cliched obvious one is the wealthy guy with the looker woman(and increasingly vice versa). The good looking but socially inept guy with the plainer woman is another one. Obviously there are exceptions to every rule, but in general like tends to go with like.

And that's fine too. It's a non issue really as most people tend to go for similar anyway. Even the plain guys who say they would only go for stunners. I've seen guys like that around stunners and they're nearly forcing themselves to like them and usually down the line end up with their built in type anyway.

Wibbs

Wibbs wrote: »

I would also say leagues exist. People tend to go like for like. In situations where I have met a longtermer couple where they seemed really incongruous, the more I got to know them the more the reasons why the difference was ignored. The really cliched obvious one is the wealthy guy with the looker woman(and increasingly vice versa). The good looking but socially inept guy with the plainer woman is another one. Obviously there are exceptions to every rule, but in general like tends to go with like.

And that's fine too. It's a non issue really as most people tend to go for similar anyway. Even the plain guys who say they would only go for stunners. I've seen guys like that around stunners and they're nearly forcing themselves to like them and usually down the line end up with their built in type anyway.

When you say leagues exist are you referring to just looks or other things (job, education, personality, intelligence etc)?

suspectpackage

For men who think leagues exist, look at the really hot girls with really ugly guys. Have your life in order, know where you are going in life, be well dressed and confident in yourself and NO WOMAN is out of your league because she can't stop herself becoming attracted to a man that is attractive. Looks don't matter as much, there are so many other factors. But ultimately, leagues should not exists from a mans perspective.

For women, sorry but if you weigh 4-5 stone more than you should or if you just look bad, most guys just won't be interested. Fact.

Wibbs

Oh no, not just looks. All the other things come into it too. Kinda like the whole package taken together gives someone their "score" for the real want of a better word. I would say in general women are more graded for looks and men for social power(money, position, status, or potentials of those).

rallye

Very wise words been spoken.

You have to look at the diference between what men and women are attracted to;

Men are attracted to the tall, thin, blonde haired type of girl, without even talking to her they would decide that they would date her etc...the girls personality wont come into things untill a lot further down the line.

Women on the other hand are more attracted to a mans personality, sure a good looking man will have an advantage in getting her attention but if he cannot keep it because of the way he is communicating (verbally & physically) then she will loose interest, rapidly..

The ugly man with the good looking woman is the perfect example, i cant remember how many guys have asked me how that is possible... its simple once you start to understand women.

Wibbs

suspectpackage wrote: »

For men who think leagues exist, look at the really hot girls with really ugly guys. Have your life in order, know where you are going in life, be well dressed and confident in yourself and NO WOMAN is out of your league because she can't stop herself becoming attracted to a man that is attractive. Looks don't matter as much, there are so many other factors. But ultimately, leagues should not exists from a mans perspective.

I don't agree. I agree men have more potential to move around and go up their "league", money, success, age, etc, but that's were it ends pretty much. The idea that "she can't stop herself becoming attracted to a man that is attractive" is a bit of a duh statement. I can't stop myself being attracted to Kelly Brook, because she is attractive. Simple as. Yes as I say a guy can move up the ranks, because women are not as triggered by looks alone(though they still are), but a guy can't fake it either. If he's attractive he's attractive full stop.*

For women, sorry but if you weigh 4-5 stone more than you should or if you just look bad, most guys just won't be interested. Fact.

Sorry I have to say utter nonsense. I can safely say that at least half the men I know like "bigger" women to some degree or other(14/16 +). These are successful men too in their own lives. Years back I went out with a woman who modeled and had the "perfect" body as Irish models tend not to be the stick insect type. Mates of mine who met her model mates, came out with the Phoooowah! bit, but admitted(with one exception) that they weren't that attracted to any of them and thought them too skinny in the flesh.

Same with another ex of mine, major gym bunny and a really honed and toned figure, size 8/10 at 5'9". Again most of my mates reckoned she was "too skinny for them". There are a helluva lot of bigger women having very successful relationships out there. Among the worst at picking the right guys and even getting the right guys were the women with the "perfect figure".

I'm not saying this out of some PC Bull either, I assure you. I have no problem putting my hand up and stating that I prefer skinny women in general, maybe it's a like with like thing again as I'm skinny myself. I've tried all sorts and always end up in longtermers with skinny small framed women. That's my preference and you would think with advertising it would be all mens preference, but I have found it really isn't. I would say a fat man has more trouble finding women than the other way around(though a lot seem to like a bit of a belly on a guy).



*Is it me or do I sniff another guy on the PUA wagon.