looking for some guidance please

moretothegirl

hi everybody

first off i just want to admit that i know nothing about any benefits i or my family may be entitled to and thats why i have come here... hoping to get some guidance.

basically my father is , to put it nicely, not a very nice man. my mother has finally decided she needs to leave him after over 30 years of marriage. the problem is that the only thing stopping her leaving this awful marriage is her financial state. my father has always provided for the family and she hasnt worked since before they got married. instead she has been a full time mum at home and is also minding her two grand children, so really and truely doesnt feel as though she is in the position to look for work because that would mean she wouldnt be available to mind her grand children and my brother and his wife cannot afford to pay her for this great deed she does for them.

it saddens me deeply to know that she is literally the greatest woman alive i know and the only reason she is with a horrible husband is because she doesnt want to be left financially unstable.

i am 22 years old, just finished my undergraduate but am planning on going back to college to do a post grad course that wont be finished for another 3 years. this whole situation has put me under great strain as I feel i should go work now instead to try help, but in the long run that wont work because the postgrad i want to do will eventually lead me into a great, highly paid job. while at the moment I would find it terribly difficult to find a job with my arts degree.

i also have a younger 14 year old sister at home with my mother. this is another problem as my mother really wants to provide for my education and my sisters. she wants to give us the best opportunities in life but i am so worried at what she is sacrificing in doing so.


wow im so sorry for rambling on like this, this is the first time ive actually put all this down in writing (havent been able to bring myself to tell anyone this before).

basically i am just wondering if anyone here can guide me in the right way or provide me with any suggestions about what my mother and family might be entitled to that might help us along with this. We really don't think my father will give her any money if she leaves him. i know people will say he has to, but to be honest he is so old fashioned and set in his ways that he wont do anything willingly to help us.

thank you very much in advance

aujopimur

If your mother does not have an income of her own she is entitled to free legal aid,you'll find the location of your local law centre in the yellow pages.
The family law court will make an order compelling your father to support your mother and any dependant children until they have completed their education.
Good luck

cee_jay

She will be able to claim One Parent Family for herself and your sister once her and your father have been separated for 3 months. They will require her to try and pursue maintenance from your father however.
The CWO may pay her Supplementary Welfare allowance while she is waiting for the 3 months to be up.
She could look into Rent Allowance/Mortgage Interest Supplement from the CWO also.

~me~

yep, go to citizens information and they'll give you the number/location of your cwo and also your local legal aid office and will point you in the right direction. as for college for yourself, you may be entitled to something as well although i'm not entirely sure, if you ask someone in the college they'll be able to tell you.
hope it all gets sorted soon.

Xiney

If your brother and sister in law are truly not able to pay her for her help in minding the children, then perhaps they could offer her a spare room in their house, or move into a slightly larger place. Rents are tumbling down across the country, they should be able to find something larger for the same price they're paying now.

Other than that, she may need to get a job and leave them to sort out their own childcare - she really needs to put herself first in this situation and any expectation by your brother for her to do differently would be extremely selfish.

Also, depending on your location, contact the relevant domestic violence helpline. They will be able to offer your mother the support and information she needs at this difficult time.


Best of luck to you and your family - this is a big step for her and you should be very proud she's taking it