Girlfriend won't let me give oral

LegacyUser

Hi, 28 year old male here

Basically going out with a girl for a few months, who is younger than myself. Getting on grand. Sex life is good, though i'm finding it hard to bring her to climax, she was a virgin when we met.

main problem is she won't let me give her oral sex. I like doing it (loved seeing my previous gfs get aroused by it). I feel it will help her relax and maybe climax a bit easier during penetration. She has no problem going down on me to point of climax. How could i ease her into it?

philologos

Could you not just respect her opinion on it OP, I mean is it really that important?

Mr Benevolent

Jakkass wrote: »

Could you not just respect her opinion on it OP, I mean is it really that important?

That doesn't make any sense. Giving oral is not what you'd call invasive or unpleasant (unless you're trying to bite or something). You're making it sound like the OP is forcing anal on her. The OP's gf obviously doesn't really know what oral is like.

OP, you need to ask her why she doesn't want it. Asking on here isn't going to get you sensible answers.

tbh

gotta agree with JA here OP, she says she doesn't like it, there it is. I don't think you have the right to ask her to do something you know she doesn't enjoy.

tbh

Confab wrote: »

The OP's gf obviously doesn't really know what oral is like.

.

jesus man, that's a hell of an arrogant statement! you know better than the OP's girlfriend what she likes and doesn't like?

amazing.

philologos

Confab wrote: »

That doesn't make any sense. Giving oral is not what you'd call invasive or unpleasant (unless you're trying to bite or something). You're making it sound like the OP is forcing anal on her. The OP's gf obviously doesn't really know what oral is like.

OP, you need to ask her why she doesn't want it. Asking on here isn't going to get you sensible answers.

How doesn't it? If the OP's girlfriend doesn't want to have oral sex with him, what's such a big deal?

Mr Benevolent

Uh, lads I think you have the OP's question backwards. She doesn't want him to give her oral, not the other way around.

tbh

Confab wrote: »

Uh, lads I think you have the OP's question backwards. She doesn't want him to give her oral, not the other way around.

I know. Some people don't like it.

Silverfish

Confab wrote: »

Uh, lads I think you have the OP's question backwards. She doesn't want him to give her oral, not the other way around.

They know that.

She doesn't want oral. He should not force or coerce her into it if she does not want it.

Eun

Eh hello!

He said she was a virgin when they met. OP didnt mention if he has given it to her before..
Maybe she hasnt tried it, therefor she cant say she doesnt like it! Cant argue if she likes it or not cause nobody knows!

Mr Benevolent

I've never met a woman that doesn't like it. Oh well, there's always one I suppose. Good luck OP.

herya

Some girls don't like it - maybe work on really good and nice fingering instead?

Eun

Shes clearly never tried it.

kizzyr

Maybe she doesn't like your technique.

Boston

Jakkass wrote: »

Could you not just respect her opinion on it OP, I mean is it really that important?

Pretty much. If you put pressure on her she'll become more uptight and unwilling to try it. It's a bad idea to try and force sexual acts on another person, even if you think they'll enjoy it.

Confab wrote: »

That doesn't make any sense. Giving oral is not what you'd call invasive or unpleasant (unless you're trying to bite or something). You're making it sound like the OP is forcing anal on her. The OP's gf obviously doesn't really know what oral is like.

OP, you need to ask her why she doesn't want it. Asking on here isn't going to get you sensible answers.

I didn't realise you where the OPs girlfriend. You can't speak for what other people consider invasive or unpleasant. As a man you would probably enjoy being anally penetrated. Would you be happy if your girlfriend put pressure on you to allow her to use a strap on?

galwaybob

Maybe she had a bad experience with oral before. Maybe some dude got his head stuck up there or something.

Micky Dolenz

I'll let it go, some women are self conscious of their bits. ye are only going out a few months, once the relationship has mutured she may be more open and feel more comfortable with you.

prinz

Eun wrote: »

Cant argue if she likes it or not cause nobody knows!

She does.. There are many things a girl could do to me which I am pretty sure I am not into and wouldn't like. I don't have to try them to know that I don't want to try them. IIRC the girl didn't say she didn't like it, she made clear she didn't want to try. Which is her right.

MJOR

I'd say let it drop it's not such a big deal. Both parties being confortable and in their comfort zone is far more important

Faith

Some women just really don't like it. Some don't find it that pleasurable, and some are intensely paranoid about odours or taste, which stops them enjoying it. You could try and establish why she doesn't like it, but I wouldn't try to force her into doing it. If she has a big hang-up, it's not going to be easy to get over.

LegacyUser

i was sleeping with my BF for a good year before i let him go down on me properly. (i too was a virgin before this.) When shes ready she will let you. Dont worry about it.

LegacyUser

Another thing is keep keep telling her how beautiful she is and letting her know how much you want her. It's generally just extreme self-conciousness with girls but if you keep saying how much you like her and want to do it she should become less bothered

Dudess

I wasn't bothered with it before, now I can't get enough of it. My previous lack of interest wasn't anything to do with feeling self conscious, it literally just didn't thrill me that much and I preferred to stimulate the area myself.
With that in mind, I'd imagine our sexual tastes (sorry!:D) can change over time.

LegacyUser

I love it, Love it, love it. I will not do a guy who won't go down. The first guy I was ever with used to love going down and he would blow my mind. TBH, I have yet to meet a woman who doesn't enjoy it.

I suggest you take it very slowly and gradually work towards the area, especially if she is that inexperienced. Gentle kisses on her stomach, top of her legs etc. It takes a while for a woman to become comfortable with her body, especially that region. If she asks you to stop, stop but I doubt she will.

VaioCruiser

Dudess wrote: »

I wasn't bothered with it before, now I can't get enough of it. My previous lack of interest wasn't anything to do with feeling self conscious, it literally just didn't thrill me that much and I preferred to stimulate the area myself.
With that in mind, I'd imagine our sexual tastes (sorry!:D) can change over time.

I think that not only does it change over time... but it changes depending on our partners. With one partner we are often open to a completely different experience. It depends on how we feel about them, how they respond and 'inspire' us

ChickCave

Back to the original question. If she's not experienced then she may just need time to get used to the idea. Orals alot more intimate than sex I think and sometimes it is quiet had to relax. Having your body explored for the first time is quite daunting. She may come (sorry!) around in time

Kimia

I don't like it. I wasn't a virgin when I met my current bf and I've tried it loads of times with different partners because each time I thought I didn't like it because of him.

It's not that I'm self-conscious I just don't find it that thrilling and I prefer doing other stuff.

Some girls just don't OP so I wouldn't worry.

Latchy

As mentioned and basically and from my own expierence, some women prefer receiving oral as long as they feel clean down there .

lynsalot

Hey Op

Jeez that#s some **** advice lol i mean by all means don't force her into but if she's just put off because she's embarrassed... coz let's face it it can't be pleasant... i'm female and it's great though lol

Best advice I can give u is talk to her... it's so important to talk about it and find out what she likes. Maybe there's other things u can do instead to help her climax? In fairness girls never climax as much as men... it is harder to make a woman climax... even by giving oral sex.

maybe with time she might want to experiment more. If ur only going out a few months and she was virgin then it's still all pretty new to her. If she will let u try it, maybe start by touching her things and tummy and kissing her body, kissing the inside of her thighs and build it up. I wouldn't advise going for broke lol she'll probably find it too intense.

i'm sure if u talk you'll find ways to make things work oral or not. It'll prob just take time. good luck

LegacyUser

im in similiar position to op, my girlfriend just wont let me go down on her, says its disgusting but she seems to have no problem going down on me, tried to persuade her but she aint one for budging on this issue, my advice is to leave it for now and as she gets more comfortable with you she might be more receptive to the idea

LegacyUser

Why do fellas want to anyway, its kind of irritating.

I dont care for it, cant relax, find the idea a turn off and nothing will change my mind.

Have only come once from it and would not care if I never got it again.

Stick to the high roads!

LegacyUser

My friends and I talked about oral sex a few months back and everyone felt oral sex was more intimate than penetrative sex so it would normally take them longer to do it. Give her time and she may get more interested in trying it.

LegacyUser

Some may find this a little odd but I'd probably prefer a good old fashioned kiss than a bj. That's not to say that I don't like receiving bjs, it's just that the other does more for me.

Carolanne2x4

As a women, I know how this girl is feeling.
She says she was a virgin before she meet, but maybe she had a bad experience relating to oral sex? Not trying to stir it but its a possibility.

As for people on this saying how could a women not like oral sex? Its a sexual preference , just like which position you prefer / anal etc.. Not every one likes the same thing.

The male g spot is located in the anal passage , so thereby default, do all men like havent a dildo/vibrator shoved up there a**, as all women should like oral? Don't be ignorant!

Personally, I didn't feel comfortable with oral sex for a long time , as I didn't have confidence to let some one explore that area, but in time I learned to enjoy it. It also depends on whos giving it to you, You cannot pressure her it simply won't work.

Ask her to tell you when she wants it, when she has the confidence to ask for it she'll have the confidence to receive it. Until then you will just have to wait!!

Also , IMO , fingering is alot better then oral, just have to find that ridge and WORK IT BOY!!

Hope this helps.

Kauto

Everyone loves to be the lemon licker!!!!

Monkey61

Lots of women I have spoken to about this just don't get that much from it.

I find it perfectly pleasant but I'd rather be doing other things as I don't find it that much of a turn on and would never be able to orgasm from it.

That said, if she has never tried it then perhaps she could just feel very uncomfortable about it due to nerves as it is far more intimate than other stuff. You can't force her though, but it wouldn't be any harm to have an open discussion about it in which you can explain that it is something that you really enjoy doing but you will respect her decision totally if she's just not into it.

LauraLoo

Hi OP

you said you are only going out a few months and your girlfriend was a virgin beforehand. People learn sexually over time, and at their own pace.

Losing your virginity is a big step. For many people they are exploring with penetration long before they climax with it- your girlf may not be ready to move on to something else while she's still adjusting to something new.

I was sexually active for a long time before i ever enjoying receiving oral and when i was younger i never liked it. Its only now with my partner that i can really enjoy it. I think its more that my sexuality has matured and im very comfortable with my partner.

You are a good bit older than her- you are both at different levels of sexual maturity. You are simply going to have to wait for her because if you push her you could very well damage her psycological approach toward sex/oral.

I can understand your heart is in the right place as all you want to do is give her an orgasm; but please realise that for some women just losing your virginity is the start of a very long journey- she has to find her g-spot before you can. Please remember that this is about her and not about whether or not you can make her climax (im not suggesting this is the case but its an important thing to consider)

I suggest a way to relax her before hand would be to give her a nice full body massage- touch her in many different ways using feathers, the tips of your fingers, then firm with your full hand and listen to her responses to see what she likes. To to help her relax in a non-sexual way.

Wibbs

Kauto cop on and read the charter before posting again. Particularly the part about unhelpful replies.

Amarok

you don't want to hear what some people have to say on the matter they will put you off I say get her opinion on it and if you confront her she might be a bit more forthcoming

LegacyUser

OP here again. thanks for all the advice

Ye might be right about the 'timing' issue. she is still getting comfortable with having sex and trying new positions, so i won't bother her again with oral sex until she brings it up. i just wanted to try it out and thought she would like it! my ex gf used to love it more than penetrative sex

anyway, my gf loves giving me blowjobs and sex, so i'm not complaining.