Depressed Friend

LegacyUser

Hi all:

I m looking for some advice as to what to do,
I have a very good friend and lately hes acting up a lot(ie not wanting to go out much, or going sonewhere and then making excuses and leaving, and cancelling stuff this is really not like him ), anyway, the other day i was talking to him and asked what is going on, after a long chat it became clear that he s going through a bad time, at some earlier stage in his life he was clinically depressed and was on meds for a while, and now it seems to be like his not doing that well again.
He told me that when this thing "comes to him" he just doesnt want to see anyone, I think he doesnt mind me beeing around, I dont want to push him, tho I m not sure how can I help.

He was talking about going to the doctor about this, and I can see him battling it but I hate seeing him sufer it and not be able to do anything
Any advice?

Kevster

Hi,

It sounds like it could be Manic Depression (or 'Bipolar', as it's sometimes called). I recommend not trying to help him specifiacally; and that you'd be better off just giving him assurance that you accept him for who he is, even when the 'dark' moments like now arrive. If you try to get too involved in his depression, you may drive him away. While saying this, if he speaks of going to a doctor, then encourage him lightly, such as saying 'Yeh, if you think that going to a doctor is a good idea, then you should do it'.

Kevin

LegacyUser

what's to say it's manic depression? Don't manic depressive suffer from episodes of mania? If it is clinical depression as the OP's friends said it was then it is a chemical imbalance. I'm sure the doc will try get him back on meds.

Kevster

By definition, the 'mania' does not have to be such that the suifferer is - for example - going around throwing flowers everywhere with a big smile on their face. No, the depressive episodes can be so low that even the manic ones don't reach high levels. I have intimately known two people with this disorder.

Snowie

Kevster wrote: »

Hi,

It sounds like it could be Manic Depression (or 'Bipolar', as it's sometimes called). I recommend not trying to help him specifiacally; and that you'd be better off just giving him assurance that you accept him for who he is, even when the 'dark' moments like now arrive. If you try to get too involved in his depression, you may drive him away. While saying this, if he speaks of going to a doctor, then encourage him lightly, such as saying 'Yeh, if you think that going to a doctor is a good idea, then you should do it'.

Kevin

How the hell can you say he a manic depressive, its people like you on this part of the foum which make people feel stupid, i had one person try tell me I had Bipolar because I discribed my self of having extreamly high highs and extreamly low low's. Dont analise people mate its not nice, espechilly when you dont know enough about them.

for instance this guys friend may have been bullied for a number of years and his depression is really just sadness, he may have had a child hood that was supresive, you just can't say things like that with out knowiung the full fact's!

Aas for what I would say be a mate support him dont over do it let him talk when he wants and make him feel wanted, as friend... As for anything else tell him if he needs you to give you a shout

Kevster

Good Christ man, take it easy. I said that it 'could' be bipolar, just as you're now suggesting that he could have been bullied. Do you see me now flying off the handle because you mentioned it could be bullying? - No.

Look, I have 14,000+ posts on another [international] psychological self-help website and get praise daily there for my advice given to people. Whenever I come to boards.ie, it is apparent to me how ignorant the general population in Ireland is to mental health matters.

The advice you have given to the OP is good, but is too 'bog standard' and may only temporarily resolve the issue at hand. I'm sorry OP, but I'm not going to reply here to this thread again.

Take care - I wish you the best of luck,
Kevin

PS - This line - "He told me that when this thing "comes to him" he just doesnt want to see anyone, I think he doesnt mind me beeing around, I dont want to push him, tho I m not sure how can I help" is what indicated to me that it could be Bipolar. When a person uses language like this, it smacks of a cycle of depression that waxes and wanes

...this place is unbelievable here (boards.ie); really is.

ChickCave

Kevster wrote: »

PS - This line - "He told me that when this thing "comes to him" he just doesnt want to see anyone, I think he doesnt mind me beeing around, I dont want to push him, tho I m not sure how can I help" is what indicated to me that it could be Bipolar

Actually depression does come and go, that doesn't mean someone is
necessarily bipolar.

My advice would be to make it known to him that your there if he needs to talk an if he doesn't then be there anyway. Think going to the doc is a step in the right direction. I had a male friend in the same situation a couple of years ago and he found councelling helped him too. He found even being able to say things out load to someone (which he didn't feel he could with anyone he knew) helped alot.

ray giraffe

OP, just being there for your friend will help him a lot. Isolation is the last thing he needs. Going to a doctor is probably a good idea, as only a doctor can judge what medical treatment (if any) he needs.

I would take any medical diagnosis you get on boards (e.g. Manic Depression) with a large pinch of salt. Only a doctor after a one-to-one consultation can make such a diagnosis.

Snowie

Kevster wrote: »

Good Christ man, take it easy. I said that it 'could' be bipolar, just as you're now suggesting that he could have been bullied. Do you see me now flying off the handle because you mentioned it could be bullying? - No.

Look, I have 14,000+ posts on another [international] psychological self-help website and get praise daily there for my advice given to people. Whenever I come to boards.ie, it is apparent to me how ignorant the general population in Ireland is to mental health matters.

The advice you have given to the OP is good, but is too 'bog standard' and may only temporarily resolve the issue at hand. I'm sorry OP, but I'm not going to reply here to this thread again.

Take care - I wish you the best of luck,
Kevin

PS - This line - "He told me that when this thing "comes to him" he just doesnt want to see anyone, I think he doesnt mind me beeing around, I dont want to push him, tho I m not sure how can I help" is what indicated to me that it could be Bipolar. When a person uses language like this, it smacks of a cycle of depression that waxes and wanes

...this place is unbelievable here (boards.ie); really is.

your advise is completely Irelevent...

You can just say oh some one may have bipolar....

I was'nt actuly sugesting anything, I was giving a reason to what may have caused his problem's. I would of thought suggesting would be saying oh sounds like bi polar but from what i recall it isnt the first time you've said oh sounds like bi polar....

But then again, most people whp are despressed tend to want to dwell on there own, doing very little and thinking negitivly. Which is a fact because i used to do it to my self. tho iregardless of what I have said aboce you are in no place to say something so irashional.


Oh and bye the way you discribed me as having bipolar about a year ago, you where very wrong !

Occam

Kevster wrote: »

It sounds like it could be Manic Depression (or 'Bipolar', as it's sometimes called).

I see no indication of bipolar at all in the OPs description of symptoms. On the basis of the post if we were to make any inference, it would be towards a unipolar disorder/ depressive episode. The only mention or indication of mania has been in your own posts, not in the OPs.

Nevyn

We do not try and medically diagnose people on this forum.
Any more posts in this vein and people will be banned and the thread locked.