1st baby & lonely...

LegacyUser

Hi! This is my first time posting on this site so bear with me!
I am a young woman (21) and am expecting my 1st baby. My partner and I have been together 5 years and are overjoyed at the news.
The problem is as my pregnancy progresses I am beginning to feel very lonely. None of my friends have babies or show signs of having one any time soon. I would love to meet expectant mums in circumstances similar to mine. I have just finished University and intend to return to get my Masters degree after the baby arrives.
I have searched for young mothers groups on the internet but cannot seem to find any. I would welcome any suggestions from people who have had a similar experience and everything worked out...My friends have been amazing but they have no experience in this area!

gowayouttadat

Hey OP... I'm 25 and am expecting my first baby too. Like you I'm the first of all my gang to go through the pregnancy experience. I just waved off one of my best friends to Oz and it's so weird that I'm here waiting for the baby to arrive while she's off traveling for herself!
I keep wondering what it'll be like when the baby actually arrives. Since I won't be working I wonder will I be a bit cut off from the outside world for a while.

Where are you based? How far along are you?

LegacyUser

Hey!

At first I thought Oh this is it my social life and plans are over but I'm more optimistic now! A lot of my friends have left to travel for the summer too but I've decided I'm going to visit them! No time like the present, before I need a babysitter!
Yeah, I thought that too but I guess we're going to be so busy with the babies for the first few months, hopefully, won't notice...?!!I do plan on getting back to work/education as soon as I can, espec if I'm feeling lonely.

I'm due in January...feels like it's never going to arrive! I just wish I could meet him/her! I'm living in the South at the moment but will have to relocate to the Dublin area closer to the due date as that's where my bf works(sorry for vagueness but still have to announce pregnancy to everyone yet!)

So reassuring to know I'm def not the only one! Where are you based? Have you shared your news?!

LegacyUser

Hi ladies,

I had my first baby a year ago and next one is due this Christmas. As excited as I am about going off on maternity leave again soon, I am also very nervous about how lonely one gets being stuck at home alone for months at a time!

It is for that reason that I'm trying to build a network or support structure for myself to cope with the lonely days.

I started a group called Balbriggan Mommies on Facebook so if you are in the region (North Co. Dublin) please join so that we can support each other!

All the best,
Lindi

gowayouttadat

Oh I'm nearly there now, due in August so the news is well and truly out. I was kinda freaked at the start telling everyone because I knew nobody was expecting it. It was actually grand in the end though!!

It does feel like it goes on forever alright!

I know every pregnancy is different but I haven't let it stop me doing things I'd normally do as much as possible. Went off to Italy for a while and will definitely still do all the things I'd planned after the baby arrives.

I'm in Cork. It's so strange how excited everyone gets about a baby. Half the time I feel like I'm being pulled and dragged in twenty million different directions with people wanting to know about the pregnancy

Pm me any time you want a chat or whatever.

janbaby

Hiya! I'm 25 and like you I'm the first of all my friends to get pregnant. I feel like if it wasn't for my partner I'd be so lonely. My friends only ask me about the pregnancy, they forget I still have a normal life with other things to talk about, and don't invite me out anymore so it feels kinda lonely. I've been really sick, vomiting non stop since about 6 weeks and I just feel boring cos I can't do much in the evenings. Worst thing is I'm due New Years Eve so it'll be the start of my new life while all my friends are out getting hammered!

The way I see it is, someone always has to be first! I'm the first of my friends but maybe its not a bad thing. I wouldn't change my situation for anything and I suppose its just about everyone making adjustments

LegacyUser

gowayouttadat - Thanks so much for your words of wisdom! I have my 2nd scan next week so hopefully if that goes ok we're going to start announcing the news to everyone. I'm so scared about it...I think there will be a lot of people delighted that I've "messed up"...espec some of my aunts & uncles..One comment already told me I dont "have the licence" to have a baby...wtf?!!!
I'm also afraid of how big I'm going to be for my Grad...that might be a bit embarrassing...my bf gets angry when I say embarrassed but I can't help it! When the news is out I will set up a profile on Boards to keep in touch and ask questions when needs be!!!

janbaby - Oh I'm due 10 days after you! I hope the sickness calms down for you soon...I was losing weight (how annoying - of course that wouldn't happen before!) from getting sick but the last week it seems to have calmed down a bit. Have you tried eating little & often? If I didnt eat 1st thing in the morning I would be sick all day. Also ginger ale/ginger biscuits seemed to settle me, a little anyway!
Have you started showing yet? I won't be out New Years either..I'll be sitting at home wishing it was all over....and terrified of the birth! Eeekk!!!

Lindi - Not in North Co. Dublin.. but when my news is out I'll join the Facebook page for support...thanks!

janbaby

Hi Unregistered, I haven't really started to show yet according to my friends and family but i just feel fat and big! Its like I have a massive spare tyre (a soft flabby bump lol). I still fit into all my jeans and trousers so thats a good thing. The vominting has started to ease up this week thank god too, its just heartburn now :P

I know its hard rite now because you feel like your letting everyone down, but try not to let comments from your aunties and uncles get to you. You've created a new life. There are so many women who can't have babies for different reasons so regardless of your age I think its an amazing thing. When I saw my first scan it really brought it home that there is an actual REAL person growing in there.

When is your Grad? We're lucky that floaty tops and maxi dresses are in fashion! I got an amazing maxi dress in Miss Selfridges and something like that will cover your bump.

Moonbeam

It is definitely not the end of the world:)

I do everything I did before the little girl came along.
I am lucky that I can bring her anywhere and that she is good though not everyone is so lucky.
I have been on holidays,out for dinners with friends etc and I still haven't left her:)
Well except for a hour here and there with her dad.
I am not in to pubs and clubs but like eating out and cinema etc and it just means I have to go to the mammy and baby showings.

gowayouttadat

Hey OP, I was the exact same about telling people and putting on weight at the start. I'm the youngest at work, most are in their early thirties and married. I was so embarrased at the thought of telling people but everyone was great. And you learn to ignore the idiots who aren't!!
I was completely paranoid about the weight side of it too. At the start I was just picturing myself as a big lump for months on end but that goes away too. I've actually been really lucky. I'm 8 months now and all anyone says to me is "You're still tiny"... maybe you'll be the same... everyone is different. I found that when you start feeling the baby moving around and kicking then the weight is the last thing you worry about!
I've only bought one pair of maternity pants. I bought jeans one size up and they still do me. I bought lots of floaty dresses in oasis, topshop and miss selfridge and they're fab! I just got maternity leggings in red herring and wear them underneath. So don't worry about the clothes side of either. You'll pick up loads of things that aren't even maternity.