Big decision to make on where to go to uni - England or here?

LegacyUser

I have been planning to go to England in September for uni for a while now. I've recently split up with my boyf who lives in the same city I was planning to go to, as we are just not compatible.

I'm tempted now to use my CAO backup and stay in Ireland now as I don't think I have the balls to go over to England on my own.

As I've dropped out of uni before I'm scared of it not working out again so I really need to make the right decision.

Any advice?

AnonoBoy

Don't choose your college based on where your ex(or even) current boyfriend is.

Do the course that YOU want to do, regardless of where it is.

Imagine that he's not in the city you're planning on going to. Do you really want that course? If so then do it - it's a city, it's not as if you'll see him all the time and you'll make new friends easily - that's what college is great for, making friends.

bronte

Hi Op,

Do this for you, not anybody else.
Moving to a new city is scary at first, but you settle in quickly enough and it can really transform your life.
Chances are it's a big city and you'll never run in to him.

beezer84

Hey OP,

I feel for you because I know the decision you are making is tough. I did two years of college at home in Dublin. I dropped out though because I really found the course uninspiring. I decided to go to Leeds, finished my degree last year and really had the best 3 years of my life. Although away in another city you are never further than an hour from home in the UK. That was a major comfort for me at times. However in general I was too busy having a great time to think about home. It could be the best decision you ever make but only you can make it.

Good luck with it, I envy you - I wish I could do it all over again.

JasonBourne 2.0

I was in a similar situation to yourself not so long ago and decided to stay in Ireland. I was dissapointed at the time but now i know deep down that i made the right choice by staying here to study. I like yourself seeked advice from many of my close friends and family but to be honest their opinions in the end didnt reflect my choice. This is a decision you have to make yourself. You know deep down what it is you have to do. In my experience i know i made the right career choice. Do what makes you happy, not your parents etc....

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies so far!

Although I do think we need some space, I don't think I'd run in the other direction if we bumped into eachother.


I don't feel in a very good place to be making this kind of a decision right now. Everything feels very muddled and I wonder if I would be happy in either uni. But I don't want to defer this for a year.

Both courses could lead to a very similar type of job but the Irish one is very specific which has it's advantages and disadvantages.

Affable

StayOrGo wrote: »

I have been planning to go to England in September for uni for a while now. I've recently split up with my boyf who lives in the same city I was planning to go to, as we are just not compatible.

I'm tempted now to use my CAO backup and stay in Ireland now as I don't think I have the balls to go over to England on my own.

As I've dropped out of uni before I'm scared of it not working out again so I really need to make the right decision.

Any advice?

Hi OP. I'm English. It depends. What kind of English uni you planning on going to? If you are young also, I think it can be wise to keep a base in your home country while you are finding your feet, I didn't take well to a foreign country at that stage and missed home more than I expected, I guess it's a case of whether you want it to work though, can you put patriotism, longing for hime aside? The upside is you can get away from constricting old ties. If you do come over maybe it'd be best to stick to a smaller town and perhaps not one of the most cutthroat institutions, you can still go on and do well in mscs careers etc.

Faith

I went to Edinburgh, and I won't lie to you, it was hard. The first few months sucked for me because I was just so lonely and scared. I seriously regretted my decision. But I stuck with it, and now I'm graduating on Tuesday. I can say with hindsight that moving away was the best thing for me to do. I grew up and matured immeasurably.

LegacyUser

I would be going to Manchester and would be right in the middle of the city.

I wanted to get some boards opinions as some english friends who I don't see that often thought I'd be crazy not to carry on as planned and move to England.

But I think I'll be staying. I'd be moving a few drive away from here so it'll still be a step in the right direction to becoming independent and being my own person.

LegacyUser

I did two years in college in Dublin then moved to the Uk to do my final year in a big university there. I did go with friends from my course but we met so many people there and I had one of the best years of my life. It was so much fun. I had an English boyfriend while I was there, and worked in the Student Union and in a bar. Had such good times. Although I prefered the system of my smaller college in Dublin, it was a great life experience. I think you should definitely do it.

Beanstalk

The chances of seeing your ex are really slim and its unlikely you'll be put in a situation that will be really awkward or that you can't fet away from.

Im over studying in the UK at the moment (dorset), it was weird at first because nobody could understand my Donegal accent and i kept having to repeat myself, but after that I got on fine, the people are lovely over here, very polite and friendly. Spent 6 years working and studying in Dublin and apart from having to leave my OH and my friends it was a welcome change to come to the UK and sunny Dorset. Its 25 degrees outside at the mo, yaay!

If you want something different and a chance to forget your troubles and make new friends, go for it!

piby

If you really want to do the course then forget about the ex. Studying abroad is something I know I was always curious about having I turned down an oppurtunity in the UK. I think the general consensus, from some friends who went across the pond and some I made in college myself, is that the first few months will always be tough but after that it really can be an amazing experience.

On the other hand 3/4 years is a long time if you're the sort of person who gets homesick easily, and you said you dropped out once before, so if you think being home and with your family and friends may help you see it through I'd give it some thought.

philologos

StayOrGo wrote: »

I have been planning to go to England in September for uni for a while now. I've recently split up with my boyf who lives in the same city I was planning to go to, as we are just not compatible.

I would say don't let your ex stop you from going to do whatever you want to do. If you want to go to Britain to do whatever you want to do, there is plenty of option to. It's likely that the university you'll be studying at is a rather large university, you may not see him all that often if at all. If you end up doing a course that you don't want to do, your issues will eventually fade alright, but you may just regret big time not going to the UK to have that opportunity. Think about the long term, not the short term. The same issue you are having now is not very likely to affect you when you are coming towards the end of your degree.

StayOrGo wrote: »

I'm tempted now to use my CAO backup and stay in Ireland now as I don't think I have the balls to go over to England on my own.

Have faith in yourself. We all have to take risks occasionally, and you may just find that when you take the risk you'll be so glad that you took it.

StayOrGo wrote: »

As I've dropped out of uni before I'm scared of it not working out again so I really need to make the right decision.

Don't dwell on the past. Look forward to the future. A lot of things in life take risks, it is up to you to decide to take them. And if things get too hard, realistically it is only a 45 minute flight home.

LimeFruitGum

Sure, he might the one to decide to change his course on account of the split, who knows.

But this is your education and future we're talking about here, so forget about what he's doing. You can always get a new hot boyfriend in college!