Taking a Mistress

LegacyUser

I am currently giving serious consideration to taking on a mistress to provide me with some no strings sex. The reason being I am currently living the far side of the country from my girlfriend and don't get to see her nearly as much as I would like. I am afraid my sexual frustrations will inevitably lead to me engaging in messy one night stands and the idea of having a mistress that can provide me with some much needed sex on a regular basis as well as well as helping me deal with the loneliness is beginning to seem like a good idea.

Is it or am I insane?

LegacyUser

I've been there been the mistress and it was awful you may think being honest with her is ok but its not the emotional attachment will be there no matter what......

as for the gf if you CARE about her AT ALL you would NEVER ever consider doing this to her it will ultimatley hurt her beyond repair, its cold and calucalated

try phone sex or msn web cams with her so ye can both relieve the tensions felt (my current bf and I have this arrangement and it works for both of us and we get to enjoy the time together and look forward to our time together)

DO NOT DO IT!!

This

your obvo dont think much of your gf if your seriously considering a mistress. break up with your girl friend.

LegacyUser

Having a mistress would cost money as there would be meals, nights out... I don't really know what else as I've never given much thought to the price of an affair, but I think the amount of money you'd end up spending on the other woman would equal or exceed the cost of travelling to see your girlfriend more often.

I don't think you should break up with your gf just for thinking about having an affair, but I think you should put real effort into fixing your own relationship and not look for an easy way out.

Finally, how would you feel if your girlfriend was sleeping with someone else while you're away, just to relieve sexual tension?

philologos

Unregistered wrote: »

I am currently giving serious consideration to taking on a mistress to provide me with some no strings sex. The reason being I am currently living the far side of the country from my girlfriend and don't get to see her nearly as much as I would like. I am afraid my sexual frustrations will inevitably lead to me engaging in messy one night stands and the idea of having a mistress that can provide me with some much needed sex on a regular basis as well as well as helping me deal with the loneliness is beginning to seem like a good idea.

Is it or am I insane?

OP, I wouldn't call you insane, but I would call it a bad line of thought. You are contemplating betraying your girlfriends trust. If you think that she would be okay with it, why don't you ring your girlfriend and ask her? Of course most women wouldn't be too keen on this. However this depends on what you intend your relationship with your current girlfriend to be. Do you intend to be monogamous for life? Or is it just a "see how it goes" type thing.

Either way, I'd say be completely honest about it. I don't think it's good to go behind your girlfriends back. Ask her how she feels, if she is fine with it, it is only your conscience that will be the true decider. Otherwise you are merely betraying your girlfriend.

VaioCruiser

I am not into making moral judgments - I don't think that is what you want or need.

One the problems of having a regular relationship for sex outside your main relationship is that you hand her the weapon to hurt you badly if she turns on you at a later date. So things might be hunky dory for a while, but then you do something she gets worked up about and next thing is she is making trouble for you with your family or ex. It's VERY hard to keep everything secret from her... she will get you name.. where you live... other stuff eventually - it's life. Be careful if you do this...

It seems to me to be a huge risk and a huge step - when a much easier solution must be to change the situation with the gf ?



All the best.

LegacyUser

You need to be married to have a mistress.
What you're actually talking about is taking a second girlfriend, dating two people at once, cheating your ass off. Call a spade a spade.

galwaybob

Maybe some regular appointments with some escorts would be a better option, that way you can keep everything above board and strictly business.

Liam Byrne

Unregistered wrote: »

I am currently giving serious consideration to taking on a mistress to provide me with some no strings sex. The reason being I am currently living the far side of the country from my girlfriend and don't get to see her nearly as much as I would like. I am afraid my sexual frustrations will inevitably lead to me engaging in messy one night stands and the idea of having a mistress that can provide me with some much needed sex on a regular basis as well as well as helping me deal with the loneliness is beginning to seem like a good idea.

Is it or am I insane?

Insane, inconsiderate, stupid and tbh I don't think anyone real would actually post this.

Let the g/f go and meet someone from your own side of the country, whether as a new g/f or for "no strings sex".

You're probably the same type of guy who would have a hissy fit if your g/f did the same.

Board rules stop me from calling you - personally - anything personal, and I'll abide by that, but let's just say that it's my opinion that anyone who would do anything this inconsiderate and selfish is a complete loser and an asshole and doesn't deserve a g/f.

And who's to say you - or should I say the fictional guy who would actually do this, rather than someone like you who just asks about it - could manage to get a mistress anyway ? Girls aren't THAT desperate to have sex with an inconsiderate loser.

But if you want to fit that description, fire away.....and if you don't, then be grateful that you have a g/f who hasn't yet realised what you appear to be like.

poms

I don't think its worth cheating on your girlfriend. Do you not think that you may have a guilty consience? If your girlfriend found out through whatever means its all gonna fall down around you. What if this mistress develops feelings for you? Will you leave your girlfriend? If you really do love your girlfriend then you should want to make your relationship work and you should want to stay faithful to her and respect her. Would she do this to you? How would it make you feel? There are couples who are in long distance relationships seperated by countries and can make it work. Don't make a big mistake.

PK2008

Have you ever heard of masturbation?

poms

PK2008 wrote: »

Have you ever heard of masturbation?

fair point

galwaybob

Liam Byrne wrote: »

Insane, inconsiderate, stupid and tbh I don't think anyone real would actually post this.

Let the g/f go and meet someone from your own side of the country, whether as a new g/f or for "no strings sex".

You're probably the same type of guy who would have a hissy fit if your g/f did the same.

Board rules stop me from calling you - personally - anything personal, and I'll abide by that, but let's just say that it's my opinion that anyone who would do anything this inconsiderate and selfish is a complete loser and an asshole and doesn't deserve a g/f.

And who's to say you - or should I say the fictional guy who would actually do this, rather than someone like you who just asks about it - could manage to get a mistress anyway ? Girls aren't THAT desperate to have sex with an inconsiderate loser.

But if you want to fit that description, fire away.....and if you don't, then be grateful that you have a g/f who hasn't yet realised what you appear to be like.

Give the guy a break:eek:

I say go for it! Life is too short to get hung up on this kind of stuff.
At the end of the day what she doesn't know wont hurt her.

poms

galwaybob wrote: »

Give the guy a break:eek:

I say go for it! Life is too short to get hung up on this kind of stuff.
At the end of the day what she doesn't know wont hurt her.

Would it not be easier for him to break up with her? That way he won't have to hide anything from anyone?

Liam Byrne

galwaybob wrote: »

Give the guy a break:eek:

Funny you should mention the word "break", since that's what he should give his g/f if he wants to shag someone else.

And as for :

galwaybob wrote: »

At the end of the day what she doesn't know wont hurt her.

That depends on who - and what - he ends up with via his "mistress".

I've no judgement on going off with people WHATSOEVER; just as long as its one at a time and as long as people (past, current and new) are respected.

If he'd posted that his g/f was seeing someone else, would you be posting telling him to dump the slapper ? Something tells me that you would.

sunshinegirl

how would you feel if your girlfriend considers doing the same thing to you?ie taking another boyfriend or bootycall boy?

surely honesty is the key.

Sarah W

Isn't this a repeat of a thread from a couple of weeks ago?

Either way;

A. you need to be married to have a mistress
B. the mistress needs to be aware of the wife's existence and accepting of the situation.

Perhaps you'd be more suited to life in France?!

LegacyUser

You're clearly not suited for a long distance relationship so get out of it. It's not fair to the girl you call your girlfriend. I'm in a LDR and would never dream of cheating. Your attitude is sickening.