Fear of flying, yes I know it's irrational!

mandysmithers

I presume this is the correct place for this post? I don't think it's a PI, and it's fairly specific.

Ok, I know it's totally irrational, and I've read up on how safe flying is and how it works, but I'm still so terrified of flying. I'm due to fly to Greece soon with Aer Lingus, and I trust them as an airline (maybe I should trust all airlines, but I wouldn't like flying with, say, an African or Russian airline - I would refuse), but I'm still so scared of the flight, especially with recent news reports.

Anyway, I figured what better place to get a reality check than here, where there's loads of real pilots. Sometimes I'd love to be sitting beside a pilot on a flight so he/she could reassure me whenever there was any slight turbulence. Yes, I'm that person with the sharp intake of breath, grabbing onto their arm rests looking at the air hostesses to try and detect any signs of fear When I can choose my seats at the booking stage, I purposely pick ones near emergency exits...hmm, how optimistic am I?! Although, I think I'd be so scared that I'd freeze anyway, but that's another story.

So, any calming words for me, that I can think of when I'm flying and absolutely crapping myself??!! It kind of ruins part of my holiday. The worst part is, I used to LOVE turbulence, the worse the better, until one scary experience. Isn't it always the way....

Thanks.

highlydebased

As far as I know Aer Arann are doing a fear of flying course soon- might be worth looking into.

Well, think of the number of flights that take place daily and how many of them do you hear of having bad things happen (I know recently might be an exception...)

Flyer1

My Sister used to be exactly the same as yourself, she used to hate the thought of going on an airplane.

You really don't need to worry if it's say a Russian or African airline, all airlines are goverened by the same safety laws so there is a set standard accross the industry. And to be honest, those Russians are some fantastic engineers.

If you'd like to see what goes on up front, have you thought about going for an intro flight with a flying club ? As a pilot myself, I convinced my sister to come flying with me. She was nervous at first but once I showed her exactly what I was doing, and why she was totally relaxed. I got her involved in the flying, calling out the checklist, turning on switches etc. I let her have a little go of flying it around aswell, she loved it. Since then she has done Skydiving and all !

Think of turbulence as nothing more than potholes on the road, thats really what they are in the air - just moving air, it's nothing to worry about.

Don't be worried by recent events, you are more likely to be hurt driving your car than in an airplane !

Celtic Mech

Flyer1 wrote: »

If you'd like to see what goes on up front, have you thought about going for an intro flight with a flying club ? As a pilot myself, I convinced my sister to come flying with me. She was nervous at first but once I showed her exactly what I was doing, and why she was totally relaxed. I got her involved in the flying, calling out the checklist, turning on switches etc. I let her have a little go of flying it around aswell, she loved it. Since then she has done Skydiving and all !

As you had the luxury of being able to do this for your sister, i think it was a great idea. I think one of the main factors that contributes to the fear is a result of the unknown and not knowing what exactly is happening. After all, the pilots are basically locked behind closed doors, Passengers only get little round windows to look out and cant see anything ahead! Flyer1 was able to calm these fears of his/her sister...showed her exactly what was being done and why. I think if everyone with a fear of flying had the opportunity of doing this, it would relieve a great amount of peoples fears. If you ever get the opportunity to do somehting like this then grab it with both hands. Or even try something like flying lessons in Weston www.nfc.ie

suzieb

Sorry to hijack your post but I wanted to start one quite similar.

My fear of flying has escalated over the last few years, even though I never really had a bad experience when flying.
I used to take tablets from doctor to relax me but went without the last two times as didnt want to just mask my phobia, but when I didnt take them I was so upset at take off and landing,literally crying my eyes out and shaking uncontrollably,even with the tablets they still didnt help all that much.

I told my boyfriend a few weeks ago I can't see myself ever flying again,but I dont want to be held back because of this so we decided to go to Amsterdam on a short flight and then back through Paris coming home to ease me back in.

Just went to book flights and noticed its an airbus 320(air lingus) and due to recent events(I know I shouldn't judge all airbuses but the notion is in my head now), I really dont want to go.
Its not fair on my boyfriend if I back out so I'd also like some help if anyone has advice to help me.

I've read books on fear of flying,my friends boyfriend is a pilot and tried to help even offering to take me up in a plane with just him sometime which I know I would never be able to do-the smaller the plane,my fear would be greater,but nothing has gotten through to me yet.

Its a totally irrational fear I know, and I live near enough the airport so I see how many planes take off and land safely,i just feel stupid feeling like this.

Even when I was younger I used to time the planes going in to land thinking it would help but that didnt help either-I actually sound like a lost cause I know...

Nev

Have you tried

http://www.aviatours.co.uk/

Worked for me although after 2 years of no go. I had to do it twice cos just didn't bother getting on flight soon after(very important). It defiantly helped me though.

Delta Kilo

suzieb wrote: »

Just went to book flights and noticed its an airbus 320(air lingus) and due to recent events(I know I shouldn't judge all airbuses but the notion is in my head now), I really dont want to go.
Its not fair on my boyfriend if I back out so I'd also like some help if anyone has advice to help me.

God knows how many of these fly every day, incident free. That is like saying that because 1 toyota corolla crashed, we should abandon them all and not drive any of them. But I can understand that it would be in the back of your mind. You just have to remember that the odds are in your favour. You have probably more chance of being hit by a meteor than being in a plane crash. Planes are constantly being checked for problems by all airlines. They have a strict service schedule to follow. Regulations are there for a reason and it is that that makes it by far the safest form of transport, despite recent events.

suzieb wrote: »

I've read books on fear of flying,my friends boyfriend is a pilot and tried to help even offering to take me up in a plane with just him sometime which I know I would never be able to do-the smaller the plane,my fear would be greater,but nothing has gotten through to me yet.

You should really go for it, especially as it is somebody you know and trust! Just because a plane is small, doesn't mean it follows different principles to the biggest of jets. When I done a trial flight, the instructor pointed out how all of the main controls are the exact same in the jumbo jet. You could even get him to do circuits around the airfield so you are never to far from safety. Pick a nice sunny day to go with no wind and bring your camera as you will love it.

I hope you overcome your fears, as I'm sure you must feel bad, especially when you feel you are holding back your boyfriend. But you are not alone, there are many people like you. Take things slowly and I am sure you will overcome your fear.

nlgbbbblth

Flyer1 wrote: »

you are more likely to be hurt driving your car than in an airplane !

true

but
I'd rather be in a car crash than a plane crash.

Seems to be easier to survive a car crash.

Biro

Tell that to the families of 400-odd people who lost their lives in car crashes last year in this country alone!
But ya, you are more likely to survive, but you're less likely to crash in a plane by a massive factor.

diverdriver

Being a pilot, I'll admit to a certain nervousness when flying as a passenger. But as much as anything it's a sensible defensive measure. Keeping me alert to possible dangers. But I'm also a nervous car passenger, in fact quite a bit more nervous. Because in fact flying is a lot more controlled than driving.

Fear of flying is not surprising, most people know next to nothing about aircraft and flying. That isn't helped by the fact that most mentions of it in the media involve crashes which although rare are invariably highly publicised.

I think another problem is that in spite of it being more accessible these days. People just don't fly enough. If you travelled in a car twice a year, after a big build up of preparation, buying tickets etc. There would be many more people claiming fear of driving. The more you do something. The more desensitised you become.

We travel in cars so much that we don't often think of the real dangers involved. Travelling in cars is actually very dangerous in comparison to flying, even in light aircraft. It's just that we are used to it. I can safely say that in all my years of flying. I've had more scary moments in cars than aircraft, not to mention crashes. I can spend six hours in a single engined aircraft with ten or twelve take offs and landings and have less excitement than the drive back home that evening.

I've often heard of individuals who say they got over fear of flying by simply flying a lot. They retain some nervousness but that's only natural. Don't expect to be completely relaxed while flying. I think people expand their natural nervousness to expand into real fear because they might believe they should be more relaxed. You don't have to be totally blase when flying and I suspect there are few people on an airliner that are relaxed, least of all the crew.

Aer Lingus used to run courses for fear of flying under Dr. Maeve Byrne-Crangle. I knew her personally and she does an excellent job. She even wrote a book on the subject. I think the course is gone but I suspect she is still around. She was on the afternoon show recently.

If you have a real fear of flying, you owe it to yourself to do something about it. It's all part of modern life and you will restrict yourself badly when it comes to travel and holidays.

mandysmithers

Thanks for all the replies.

I don't restrict myself as regards travelling, I've been to Australia and back and to San Francisco - so a few long haul flights, and innumerable short/medium haul flights. It's just annoying that my holiday has a bit of a negative aspect! Sometimes when getting on a plane I almost feel that if it lands safely I'm lucky....not that I'm unlucky if it crashes!! How crazy is that. I think I'll just have a few drinks.....

Shannonsider

mandysmithers, I too was not a big fan of flying. I did a lot of research on flying (the science behind it) as I felt my ignorance didn't help my cause. And it really, really helped.
My fear was fear of the unknown like 'why did the plane do that??' or 'what was that noise??' or what actually is turbulence?? after much reading I knew that it does that because.... or that noise was merely a gear change or the fact that the engines go quiet at crusing altitude does not mean the plane is flying slower.
I actually enjoy sitting by the wing now and seeing the different parts of the wing moving and being able to anticipate what the plane is going to do.
So get reading and it may remove the 'magic' of flying and turn it into amazement.

kmick

Get the dotor to give you some XANAX or Valium 10mg and then buy a pack of rescue remedy pastilles. Bring a towel to mop up the drool though.

highlydebased

Shannonsider wrote: »

mandysmithers, I too was not a big fan of flying. I did a lot of research on flying (the science behind it) as I felt my ignorance didn't help my cause. And it really, really helped.
My fear was fear of the unknown like 'why did the plane do that??' or 'what was that noise??' or what actually is turbulence?? after much reading I knew that it does that because.... or that noise was merely a gear change or the fact that the engines go quiet at crusing altitude does not mean the plane is flying slower.
I actually enjoy sitting by the wing now and seeing the different parts of the wing moving and being able to anticipate what the plane is going to do.
So get reading and it may remove the 'magic' of flying and turn it into amazement.

Firstly aircraft dont have gears like a car Aircraft have a throttle which dictates amount of thrust available. In an airliner during cruise with the autothrottle and autopilot engaged the extremely complicated "computer" controls the thrust (N1) setting to the engines. It may suddenly appear quieter if there is a sudden change in wind direction (in some cases) and during descent.


This is a 737 throttle- When the two levers in the middle are pushed foward, there is more thrust. When pulled back, there is less. Simple really.

The reason one would hear the engines being "quieter" during cruise is that the noise of the wind outside drowns it out. That is what you hear mostly during cruise.

Delta Kilo

He probably meant the Landing Gear.

Shannonsider

Thanks for that update Neon Circles - flying never ceases to amaze me. Some great clips on youtube of inside a cockpit during landings & take offs. As a passanger its great to see what actually goes on in there.

Celtic Mech

Neon-Circles wrote: »

The reason one would hear the engines being "quieter" during cruise is that the noise of the wind outside drowns it out. That is what you hear mostly during cruise.

The Reason they are quieter at cruise than take off or climb is because they are not producing as much thrust!!...i.e. the engine is at a lower setting.
Keeping the engines at take off or climb settings for the whole flight wouldnt be too advisable!!

highlydebased

Celtic Mech wrote: »

The Reason they are quieter at cruise than take off or climb is because they are not producing as much thrust!!...i.e. the engine is at a lower setting.
Keeping the engines at take off or climb settings for the whole flight wouldnt be too advisable!!

I'm well aware of that, didnt want to complicate my explanation any further...! :P

SEPT 23 1989

i have a terrible fear of flying the worst part for me is when the plane starts to level out after the take off,what exactly is the pilot doing controls wise in that part of the flight? it always seems to me at that point (stupidly i know) that the plane is going to fall out of the sky:o

highlydebased

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

i have a terrible fear of flying the worst part for me is when the plane starts to level out after the take off,what exactly is the pilot doing controls wise in that part of the flight? it always seems to me at that point (stupidly i know) that the plane is going to fall out of the sky:o

Do you mean just after takeoff?

Basically after takeoff the aircraft climbs on TO power and around 160-180 knots depending on weight (V2 plus 15 to 25 knots in technical terms on most smaller airliners) to the acceleration height which can be anything from 1100-1500 feet. At that point the engines are reduced to climb thrust, and the aircraft pitches down to accelerate and then climb to cruise proper. When the aircraft pitches down slightly at this point (in alot of cases on autopilot from accel height), you will feel the g-force of it, and it does feel like the aircraft is going to fall! However it is only gforce- the aircraft is not gonna fall outta teh sky

SEPT 23 1989

Neon-Circles wrote: »

Do you mean just after takeoff?

Basically after takeoff the aircraft climbs on TO power and around 160-180 knots depending on weight (V2 plus 15 to 25 knots in technical terms on most smaller airliners) to the acceleration height which can be anything from 1100-1500 feet. At that point the engines are reduced to climb thrust, and the aircraft pitches down to accelerate and then climb to cruise proper. When the aircraft pitches down slightly at this point (in alot of cases on autopilot from accel height), you will feel the g-force of it, and it does feel like the aircraft is going to fall! However it is only gforce- the aircraft is not gonna fall outta teh sky

yeah thats it for a split second it seems as if the plane is falling backwards,is that a dangerous part of the flight where the engines have been at full tilt/stress and then reduced therefore if there is going to be a problem with the engines its going to happen/be noticed at that point i know these questions sound idiotic to pilots

pclancy

Well I would have thought if there were issues with the engines they'd show up before, during or just after takeoff as they would notice vibration, high/low temps or pressures, or loss of power during the time the engines are being stressed, as they reduce power during level off for cruise the aircaft has been in the air for 10-15 minutes so any engine issues should have shown up by then.

If they discovered engine problems before V1 (point during the takeoff roll where they are commited to takeoff as theres not enough runway length left to stop) they would abort the takeoff, if not they would continue to a safe height, head to a designted holding point and inform ATC whilst diagnosing the problem. Then return to the airport possibly after dumping some fuel to lose weight.