Adoption tracing options ?

2qk4u

I want to trace my birth mother and have read all the helpful info on this forum and many websites, I have already gotten some information from the adoption agency involved although that was about 15 years ago now that as far as I have gone until now.
I started a search back then and found it quite time consuming and I just dont have the time to spare now.
What options do I have ?
Has anyone used private investigators ? is this expensive ?
Am I better off trying to do it myself if I can make time ?

I feel its time to get moving on this as none of us are getting any younger.
Has anyone used an investigator ?

martinf

Hi,

I haven't used a private investigator myself and I must admit it wouldn't have crossed my mind. There are obvious advantages in terms of time and perhaps even someone having a very organised approach to conducting a search. On the other hand there is the cost element and more importantly the loss of control that you get from conducting the search yourself. You would need to be sure that if you were to use an investigator that they were reputable and that your requirements were very clear eg whether you wanted them to make contact or just get information.

I would be inclined to contact your agency first, if only to confirm that the details you have are correct. You haven't made it clear what information you have but it may be enough for you to go a good bit down the road yourself. The speed of progress depends very much on the accuracy of the information and your available time. If a particular piece of information was unusual you might even make a match quite quickly.

One final consideration is how will you feel if the information you need is simply handed to you. Are you prepared for whatever information might be revealed? One of the advantages of doing it yourself, and it taking some time, is that you can prepare yourself mentally for various outcomes.

Best of luck with whatever decision you make

Martin

kathy finn

hi,
have you got your name on the national contact register, your birthmother could have her name on it if so its only a matter of matching you up, you can download a form on the adoption board website.
next i would contact the adoption agency who delt with your adoption and request a search for your birthmother, this may take some time as the agencies have waiting lists some longer than others.
i would then continue with my own search, starting with optaining your birthcert and move on from their, it,s good to have the agency as backup just incase you hit a brick wall.....kathy

2qk4u

Thanks for your replys. I have spent the last 20 years thinking about how I will feel if its not good news or just no result, I have also considered the fact that my mother may have a family of her own and might not be interested in making contact. I dont want to meet anyone at the moment but I feel I need to fill the gap in my mind, even if that simply means that there is no result, that in its self is a result if you get what I mean.. Im not getting any younger and dont want to leave it too late in case there are people out there that want to find me.

Is it a good idea to return to the adoption agency and ask them for more details or ask them to start a search ?

kathy finn

hi, i would do both, have you got ur non id info yet you can ask your adoption agency for it.
most adopted adults have a fear of being rejected again by their birthparents, if you decide to search it won,t happen overnight it,s a long process and you can deal with the feeling that come along.
i would say just go for it, my search was long and hard and i found out things i did,nt like but i never regret doing it, i feel now im a much more balanced person...kathy

2qk4u

Thanks,Im going to go to the adoption agency and ask for my information. I got info a long time ago but id like to start again. How long should it take to do a trace ?