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George Hamilton - commentator extrordinairre

  • 29-06-2009 4:57pm
    #1
    keano_afc
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,711 ✭✭✭


    The wit of Mr.George Hamilton (dangerhere.com)

    "Real Madrid are like a rabbit in the glare of the headlights in the face of Manchester United's attacks. But this rabbit comes with a suit of armour in the shape of two precious away goals." Simply the greatest sentence ever uttered.

    "And Hyypia rises like a giraffe to head the ball clear." George alludes to the giant African mammal renowned for its mighty leaps.

    "Russia have beaten Ireland 4-2, Albania 4-1 and now Switzerland 4-1 at home. It would be a wise man who bet against them beating Georgia." Bet George Hamilton's a popular man down his local bookies.

    "What a goal. What a goal! Straight through the legs of Adams, it flew towards the roof of the net like a Wurlitzer! I mean, like a ... howitzer" A Wurlitzer is a type of jukebox.

    "The midfield are like a chef...........trying to prise open a stubborn oyster to get at the fleshy meat inside." Reckon Keano would have got the hammer out.

    "The orange tide is lapping against the green door which refuses to open." George is all at sea with this maritime metaphor.

    "Glum Oranges. In fact I think the fruit their feelings are more akin to is a lemon." The coup de grace from Ireland's defeat of Holland.

    "We could let them score one now and they wouldn't have time to score another." George perhaps reveals why he choose commentary above coaching as he comes up with a novel way of running down the clock.

    "Kevin Moran.....oldest man on the pitch today...35 years of age.....of course the referee could possibly be older than that ......and technically he's on the pitch too.....then again his linesmen could be even older than him... but are they technically 'on' the pitch." George digs and digs 'til daylight is but a distant memory.

    "That should be NO problem for the defence - OH NOOOO!! A familiar refrain.

    "Poland have to score twice now to draw and they will not do so." The Poles duly knock one in. Minutes later..... "I might be tempting fate but I can't see the Poles Scoring...OH NOOOO they just have!!" By DangerHere's calculations, George is directly responsible for 87% of the goals Ireland have conceded during his reign in the gantry.

    George: Roy Carsley has it
    Jim: Lee Carsley, George
    George: Ah yes, perhaps it's because his head reminds me of Ray Wilkins

    "Italy are preparing to make a substitution - and it is, the unmistakable figure............of Roberto Baggio" George announces the arrival on the pitch of..... Gianluca Vialli. Unfortunately, the two subs had got their shirts mixed up.

    "And Ireland have got to contain the brothers Baggio." George surely was the only one not to know.

    "The Baggio brothers, of course, are not related." But at least he cleared it up. Or did he?

    "The seeds of doubt that were sown at the weekend against Egypt have been doused by a dose of Jack Charlton's almighty weedkiller." George goes green in Italia 90

    "If that's not offside, I'm a Chinaman!" George reveals his oriental background after a perfectly correct refereeing decision.

    "You sir, are an idiot!" George politely rebukes Lilian Laslandes after a red card offence.

    "He's pulling him off. The Spanish manager is pulling his Captain off!" Our George thinks THE George as Butragueno is replaced.

    "Red Sky at night, good day tomorrow." George reckons that the popular proverb needs a little simplification

    "Bless my soul, he's missed it!" George is disappointed in Simone Inzaghi's penalty taking skills.

    "Two nil and the ability to score goals in seventeen consecutive matches, getting the ball in the net, it, the shape of what we're to expect, even if Iran are good, has to be positive." George in succinct stylist mode

    "And we're now watching a traditional Korean Drum Dance, performed by the appropriately named Kim Yung BONG" George finds something of interest during the World Cup draw preliminaries.

    "The ESB-sponsored Georgian special Olympics team will be in Dublin this year and maybe they will reflect on the night Ireland came to Tbilisi and provided more than power." Pure George

    "We're into the second moment of stoppage time of which there isn't one." George breaks new ground to become the first commentator to enter a time vacuum

    "The flags are waving, and no doubt at the foot of the Alps, the cow bells are chiming too. And it's going to take a lot for Ireland to turn it round and sour the chocolate." The moment Ireland knew the World Cup game was up.

    "...the industrious Czech, to the German Hamann, to Murphy, the quintessential Englishman." I'm sure even Danny Murphy would doff his top hat to that one.

    "They've really eked this one out. Like coal miners mining their seam until they finally reach the surface with their precious black gold." Another George classic at the end of Arsenal - Kiev.


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