Sex expressions

C0SM0

A friend of mine was describing a recent night out were he had to "thumb in a softie".

Funniest thing i heard in years- Anybody got anymore funny expressions for boudoir activities?

~me~

bumping uglies! :pac:

ejmaztec

C0SM0 wrote: »

A friend of mine was describing a recent night out were he had to "thumb in a softie".

Funniest thing i heard in years- Anybody got anymore funny expressions for boudoir activities?

Was he fly-posting?

ibarelycare

Sex expressions

I thought this was going to be about people's orgasm faces

ejmaztec

ibarelycare wrote: »

I thought this was going to be about people's orgasm faces

Isn't there only one, cross-eyed and tongue hanging out?

Wazdakka

Ridin the gowl off her

Kinetic^

Secret Agent ****

With the missus beside you asleep in bed, pull the wire off yourself undercover.

truecrippler

Kinetic^ wrote: »

Secret Agent ****

With the missus beside you asleep in bed, pull the wire off yourself undercover.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iaR3WO71j4

antodeco

She had a fanny like a stab wound on a gorillas back.

Tomebagel

she'd do for a poke if the telly was broke:P

sneakerfreak

first i pissed on her then i shat on her then her ma pissed and shat on me then her da ate it all up and i shat on him while singing 99 red ballons

hear it all the time tbh

El Guapo!

If you cant really get it up properly (prob due to too much gargle!!) it's "like trying to play snooker with a rope" :cool:

sneakerfreak

Dean09 wrote: »

If you cant really get it up properly (prob due to too much gargle!!) it's "like trying to play snooker with a rope" :cool:

Yeah but you can just batter her if you cant get it up

FEELS GOOD MAN

Insect Overlord

sex expressions

Don't you mean sexpressions?

carlybabe1

C0SM0 wrote: »

A friend of mine was describing a recent night out were he had to "thumb in a softie".

Funniest thing i heard in years- Anybody got anymore funny expressions for boudoir activities?

WTF??? explain please

when a woman is "loose" its like throwin sausages up o'connell street
aparantly

Wertz

"Like trying to stuff a marshmallow into a piggybank"

dr.bollocko

Weird links removed.
Probably very NSFW.
But don't worry sensitive users, it was shoite.

homerjay2005

as a lad once said to me, "shes so well riden at this stage, twas like sticking into the top of a wellington boot".

Sea Sharp

Alls I gots was a stickey finger.

aido179

good for a ride if the donkey died...
i have to say...thumbing in a softie is so goddamn funny. its one of those things you can think about and go "shoit...he must have actually done that"

dessierb

She'd suck the chrome of a trailer hitch

Gummy Panda

ibarelycare wrote: »

I thought this was going to be about people's orgasm faces

I made a remark and an impression of an Ex's (not at the time) orgasm face and learned the hard way to never talk a woman's orgasm face again

Abi

Gummy Panda wrote: »

I made a remark and an impression of an Ex's (not at the time) orgasm face and learned the hard way to never talk a woman's orgasm face again

That, is a definite no-no. Its a-kin with a girl breaking out a conversation about how nice she thought your Mom was earlier, just as you are about to blow your load.

























*What did you say?

admiralofthefleet

unable to get a hard on = 'like playing snooker with a piece of string'

Nallandnanyways

God bless her, she went like a kangaroo on a space hopper.

Gummy Panda wrote: »

I made a remark and an impression of an Ex's (not at the time) orgasm face and learned the hard way to never talk a woman's orgasm face again

Presumably you had previously decided that you never, ever, ever (evvver) wanted to have the sexytime with that woman again...? :P

Dardania

floppin it in

My name is URL

"It's like plantin' spuds"
=
When I fap with a dirty hand

antodeco

"was like opening the window and fucking the night"

That_Guy

"She was sucking the diesel out of my pump"

And this...... Well this is just.... well..... a guy talking about sex. I don't think he's ever had it yet. Especially when he says something about "having sex on trees"???

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-NlRlNGFUQ

source

I'd lash the growler off her! always a good one.

or i'd give her a dart.