Silent treatment

LegacyUser

I was with this guy lately but we decided to break it off. I text him one night after a few bevies with the girls btu the following day then I text him to say sorry, that I would delete his number also so it won't happen again.

The thing is though is that I am actually in love with this guy and just cannot get him out of my head at all. I go out and i just don't want to meet any other guy. I chat to several but none of which I actually even just wanna snog never mind develop anything with. I am just completely mad about my ex. I have not heard anything from him since I said that to him. I do still have his number from an old text message I never deleted. I want to contact him but I am afraid he won't respond again leaving me look foolish & desperate.

Please has anyone any advice? Seriously anything to get this guy even talking to me again. I think the main reason I cannot get him out of my head is because he is gone silent and had been for a few days before we split and he won't say why. The silence is the only thing that simply annoys the hell out of me.

Hman09

I've had a similar problem with a girl...We were very much in love but I did something stupid and we fell out. In order to not hurt her again I told her I would leave her alone and not text her...so ive been silent to her. It kills me so much, miss her so much!

Mind I ask why you broke up? like what happened to decide to break it off?

Virgil°

You two decided to break up.You didnt actually mention whether or not you want him back.Just that you want to contact him.If you don't want him back then only thing you're going to achieve here is torturing him(and yourself).
If you do genuinely want to give it another go then id take a step back and try to be partial here. I know its really difficult and the feeling that you're still mad about your ex and that "i just don't want to meet any other guy" is a common one and a feeling that likely wont change for a while. But you broke up for a reason, and unless something has changed in the meantime (and i dont mean feeling lonely) then from my experience you're only gonna be setting yourself up for more heartbrake in pursuing him again and delay the getting over it.
All the best.

Adamisconfused

I have a similar opinion to the above poster.
The first thing that came into my head was that you want something you can’t have. Can you step back and look at the situation objectively and say that you actually like him?
Are you more interested in him now than you were when you two broke up?


Have you actually met him in the face and he has ignored you or is he just not communicating via phone. As for texting, you two broke up; he won’t be interested in keeping contact especially after you said that you’d delete his number. That shouldn’t be a surprise.
Anyway, don’t bother sending him any messages. It gives him an opportunity to ignore them. Whereas, if you meet him in the face or talk to him on the phone, he’ll have to listen to you. Arrange to meet him somewhere and have a talk about whatever is on your mind.
If he doesn’t want to meet then you should just move on. It’s over.

LegacyUser

The thing is he was never a big talker, as in wouldn’t discuss anything remotely serious or important. We had this argument once & he refused to answer the phone after; said we could discuss by text but then changed the topic and we never actually spoke about it.

I do actually want this guy back. I’ve only seen him out once but he stayed with this mates the entire night but kept watching me – who I was talking to and what I was ordering etc at the bar but never spoke to me, just kept watching me from a distance with his mates. That got me so angry but I am still mad about him. I want to talk to him but afraid of when I see him out again that the same will happen and I will just get annoyed again.

I do regret telling him I would delete his number. I won’t contact him again so via phone, just wait until I see him out but I don’t know when that will be though and this silence is just eating me up!

VaioCruiser

Unregme wrote: »

The thing is he was never a big talker, as in wouldn’t discuss anything remotely serious or important. We had this argument once & he refused to answer the phone after; said we could discuss by text but then changed the topic and we never actually spoke about it.

I do actually want this guy back. I’ve only seen him out once but he stayed with this mates the entire night but kept watching me – who I was talking to and what I was ordering etc at the bar but never spoke to me, just kept watching me from a distance with his mates. That got me so angry but I am still mad about him. I want to talk to him but afraid of when I see him out again that the same will happen and I will just get annoyed again.

I do regret telling him I would delete his number. I won’t contact him again so via phone, just wait until I see him out but I don’t know when that will be though and this silence is just eating me up!

Hi OP... I would suggest that you reflect on this inability to communicate thing. You can't change a guy. That is something you need to get straight before you move on. Girls make this mistake over and over again. I am not saying that he won't change, he probably will over time, but YOU cannot change him.

If that's ok with you then I say you should dive in there and contact him again. There is nothing to lose but a little bit of pride and embarrassment. That is so little to lose on the chance of getting him back - if he is what you want.

All the best.

LegacyUser

Unregme wrote: »

The thing is he was never a big talker, as in wouldn’t discuss anything remotely serious or important. We had this argument once & he refused to answer the phone after; said we could discuss by text but then changed the topic and we never actually spoke about it.

I do actually want this guy back. I’ve only seen him out once but he stayed with this mates the entire night but kept watching me – who I was talking to and what I was ordering etc at the bar but never spoke to me, just kept watching me from a distance with his mates. That got me so angry but I am still mad about him. I want to talk to him but afraid of when I see him out again that the same will happen and I will just get annoyed again.

I do regret telling him I would delete his number. I won’t contact him again so via phone, just wait until I see him out but I don’t know when that will be though and this silence is just eating me up!

I'm not sure I understand. Did he break up with you? If so, I think that the ball is in his court and you've made an effort to contact him and he's rejected that offer.

If you broke up with him, I think that a drunk text was not the proper way to initiate conversation. If an ex sent me a drunk text I'd probably ignore them and maybe subsequent texts (unless they seemed heartfelt) too. I'd want a phonecall if the person was interested in getting back together.

(I'm bad with quotes...)
Hman09 said "I've had a similar problem with a girl...We were very much in love but I did something stupid and we fell out. In order to not hurt her again I told her I would leave her alone and not text her...so ive been silent to her. It kills me so much, miss her so much!"

Did you break up with that girl and now you've fallen out? If you still miss her and want to get back with her, I'd contact her regardless of that promise. I made an ex promise not to contact me because of something he'd done, and I told him I'd contact him if I ever wanted to speak to him....unfortunately now I do want to speak to him because I miss him, but I'm too proud to contact him in case he thinks I want to get back together (he broke it off).

Break-ups are hard. Most of the time cold turkey is the best. Avoid the ex and try to get out and exercise and things to distract yourself. Hope you feel better soon. Exs suck