Boyfriend issues

LegacyUser

Ok well I'm just turning 16 this week and my boyfriend suggested we have sex?
i was all up for it and all but he seems to think it'd be grand without a condom because it feels better. I told him theres no chance I'd risk that as I'm not on the pill etc and don't plan to be. I dunno whether I should stay with him or not seeing as he doesnt seem to care about the chances of me getting pregnant
What do you all think I should do?
Thanks in advance

Nevyn

He wants to have sex but hasn't taken into considerations contraception or your well being or your wishes?

I think if he doesn't grow up and cop on and can't manage to understand or figure out why contraception is important and if he is pressuring you into having sex on his terms then if I was you I would break up with him.

SarahSassy

Would you like a baby and / or a STD????

If you are too young to know you need to use contraception then you are too young to be having sex. Are you sure you want to sleep with this guy. He sounds like he doesnt care whether or not you get knocked up.. Nice guy - not!!!

BubbleWrap85

Definitely don't even consider it without a condom - with/without the pill. If he's too selfish/immature/both to consider your feelings, worries, and health, then this suggests to me that he's not ready to be having sex. Tell him it's only for grown ups!!

Astrogeek

I agree with the above.
The boy isn't ready for sex. You should never be pressured into it. And most definitely never do it unprotected.
It doesn't sound like he cares about you at all. Sorry to sound harsh but you are probably better off without him.

LegacyUser

It's easy. Sex without a condom can result in pregnancy or even worse an STD. Now granted, stds like chlamydia can be cured by anti-biotics, but others can't and mean you are stuck with them for life. They can affect your fertility, your general health and some can kill you. If your boyfriend wants to have sex with you without a condom because "it feels better", this suggests he has a little more experience than you have and hasn't always practised safe sex. You don't want to take the chance that he is carrying something and may pass it on to you. At 16, you have the rest of your life to have sex, and plenty of far more special men to do it with. Don't bother with this guy, he's just a kid. You deserve better.

Sinall

I am 28 and if I guy suggested to me that we have sex without a condom then I guarantee you we wouldn't be having sex at all!

Sex without a condom is fine if you are in a long-term committed relationship, have both been checked for STI's and are using another reliable form of contraception.

If your boyfriend is not willing to listen to what you would prefer then you have to ask yourself if you really want to be with him.

Greenmachine

Not sure hwy everyonbe si thrashing this guy so much. He said he prefers not to use condoms. The fact that he is reckless does not mean he doesn't care about the OP. However she can set ground rules herself and ultimately has a say in the matter. She can make it her way or the highway.

SarahSassy

Greenmachine wrote: »

Not sure hwy everyonbe si thrashing this guy so much. He said he prefers not to use condoms. The fact that he is reckless does not mean he doesn't care about the OP. However she can set ground rules herself and ultimately has a say in the matter. She can make it her way or the highway.

Well OP said he doesnt seem to care about the pregnancy risk - that would lead me to believe he doesnt care (much) about her.

dudara

I presume he's of a similar age to you. The simple fact is at that age, most lads are obsessed with sex. No matter how nice they are, it's all sex. This isn't a bad thing - it's simply nature and his natural intelligence is probably slightly blinded by this desire.

It's your job to remind him about a condom and why you need it - prevent pregnancy and STIs. If he can't grasp this, then there is an issue.

BTW - and I'm going to sound like an old wan saying this, but I do think 16 is a bit young to be starting a sexual relationship. Do you think that you're ready for it?

projectmayhem

Greenmachine wrote: »

Not sure hwy everyonbe si thrashing this guy so much. He said he prefers not to use condoms. The fact that he is reckless does not mean he doesn't care about the OP. However she can set ground rules herself and ultimately has a say in the matter. She can make it her way or the highway.

Well the OP's words were that he said that "it feels better" so they shouldn't use a condom. That doesn't sound like a man who's considering the woman here. Especially since she came here to post about the issue.

I'd echo what was said previously in that if the guy isn't willing to "endure" wearing a condom during intercourse then he's not man enough, or mature enough to have sex just yet. The risk of pregnancy or STI's is far too high to not do it. As they say, better safe then sorry.

SarahSassy

dudara wrote: »

I'm going to sound like an old wan saying this, but I do think 16 is a bit young to be starting a sexual relationship. Do you think that you're ready for it?

+1

OP, there is PLENTY of time for sexual relationships... You are still 15, 16 this week. Whats the rush to grow up?

aligator_am

As others have said, do you want to end up pregnant or with an STD? sex is about both people enjoying it, and it's great, but don't under any circumstances, have sex unprotected. As you go through life you will see how incredible sex is, but don't hinder yourself with it now, easy for me to say I know, and I'm sure the hormones are running rampant, if you guys decide to "do it" then you must use protection, do you really want to be a 17 year old mother? I'm not saying that will happen, but it's possible, so why take the chance?

In my mind it's as simple as this, if you want to have sex then cool, but you need to lay down the law and say it's not happening unless he's wearing a condom, he can walk away (not saying he would) if you get preggers, you can't, be a fool for nobody

valery

`16 is a little young honey, Why not put it off say for a year. at 17 you will be a much more confident and assertive young woman, its a wonderful experience and your" first "time just happens once. i hope you make the right
decision.

BubbleWrap85

Also, isn't the legal age in Ireland supposed to be 17? Or was it changed? Either way I didn't have sex until I was 20, and even then I wished I'd held on a little bit longer. The guy I was with at the time was always pressurising me about it - so I gave in. I only wish I had the maturity [and assertiveness] that I have 3 years later to say no and wait for the guy am with for the last year!

gaeilgegrinds

16 is underage. He sounds very immature. At least you've the sense to realise this is not feeling right for you. I wouldn't sleep with him if I were you. My first bf came to the doc with me when I went on the Pill and honestly really cared, don't settle for less than that.

LegacyUser

Yep, I think the legal age is still 17 so the lad could get done for underage sex, depending on how old he is.

From the lads point of view, wearing a condom is like taking a bath with your socks on. It does help protect you both though. I´ve often gone bareback and nothing has fallen off me yet but I guess I´ve been lucky.

At your tender age, you need to be careful, make sure he wears a rain coat.

affroman69

If you have to ask on this then probably your not ready. Wait until you find the right person and it will work out perfectly. Dont rush into things cause when your done you will regret it. Remember it will be you getting pregnant not him so if he is not willing to sacrafice the pleasure to wear a condom then he's just not worth it i.m.o. . .

In years to come you will be glad you didnt when your sitting there with your husband knowing you made the right choice in waiting

Hope was a help for you

I'm sorry, but I was a fool as a kid and in all my foolishness I would NEVER EVER suggest something like that. No condom and no pill? This guy's IQ must be sub 50.

This is the type of guy you'll see in about 5 years pushing prams down the road having ruined his, the girls, and the kids lives in the process.