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Toxic Relationship - Newborn Involved

  • 28-06-2009 2:31am
    #1
    NewDad99
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1 ✭


    Hi everyone,

    I'll try to keep this as brief as possible. I was dating a girl for nearly a year... and things we're OK, not great and not terrible. We fought a lot, but always seemed to make up. Then one day we found out that we we're expecting a baby.

    The pregnancy was rough, we had a very unstable relationship, and managed to break up several times and get back together (actually we kind of always did that... she always would break up during an argument)

    Anyway, the baby is 4 months old... and I love him more than anything. My girlfriend and I continue to fight (a few times a week, but they can be heated, and we're getting meaner and meaner to eachother, insults, hurtful comments etc.)

    I'd be lying if I said I wasn't staying for the baby.

    I still have hope that we can both just... grow up, and fall back in love with each other or something....

    I guess I'm just wondering if anyone has been where I'm at... has stayed, or has left... and would like to hear how it turned out for you.

    Thanks..


Comments

  • #2
    banquo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,487 ✭✭✭banquo


    Under absolutely no circumstances allow her to take you to the Family Law Court.

    If you do end up going, PM me asap. That's the only personal advice i can dispatch, sorry it's not more of the nature of your post :(


  • #3
    gaeilgegrinds
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,376 ✭✭✭gaeilgegrinds


    My ex had a child. We had her every second weekend and he was always there for her. But was a FAR better Dad not in the equation. Similar situation to yourself, they got on fine as friends but not as more. I'd find it hard to stay but definetely get stuff in order before you walk if you do, have everything official.


  • #4
    lau1247
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,235 ✭✭✭lau1247


    From the sound of it you want to try to reconcile.

    But you never mentioned the reason for typical fights..
    Have you analysed why it happened?
    Can there be compromised?

    It would be better for the child to have a proper family than seperated ones..

    West Dublin, ☀️ 7.83kWp ⚡5.66 kWp South West, ⚡2.18 kWp North East



  • #5
    Bottle_of_Smoke
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,770 ✭✭✭Bottle_of_Smoke


    Maybe go to counseller and both of you get your true feelings out.

    If you have a good seperated relationship before the child grows up he'll be used to it and won't have to go through that when he can understand it. A counseller might help with this.


  • #6
    IWishh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 111 ✭✭IWishh


    I can't speak from experience of a relationship like yours, however I can speak a the child born into such a relationship. My parents were very similar and until I was around 10 they forced themselves to stay together. Since as long as I can remember I actually wanted them to break up, and after it happened life got so much better for all of us. I was just angry they didn't do it sooner.
    The kind of atmosphere in the home can have really bad effects on everyone involved and if you don't think theres a good enough chance of a real love and calm returning to your relationship I would consider separating. In the long term it could benefit everyone.


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