Possible Threesome

LegacyUser

Going unreg for this for sure

So myself and my gf are going out for a number of years now and we've even recently got engaged and things are ticking along very nicely however the last few weeks we've been jokingly saying we should have a threesome.

What started off as a joke now has gotten more serious to the point that its being discussed seriously.

Now to give a bit of back history to my gf, she's bi and has dated several girls over a number of years (one or two long term over 2 years), this has never bothered me in anyway even from our first date when she told me all this.

The threesome we have discussed would include me, my gf and another girl that we both must agree on, now obviously I know that this could obviously highly appeal to her as well as me (stereotypical male fantasy of a threesome with two women).

I'm pretty sure are relationship is strong enough to overcome any issues that may arise, now we all hear of those stories of people having threesomes but I;m just curious what is real from then.

Has anyone seriously had one and whats your personal views on them outside of the typical "I want this fantasy", what was the outcome, how do you even approach it with the "other girl"?

SarahSassy

I have never done it cos I have always valued my relationships too much and would not risk anything jeopardising them.

Did you post on thsi recently?

Its up to you but seeing as your gf is bi then if it was her suggestion I would be curious if its her idea of a legitimate final fling....

Would you mind being there and not being involved??

LegacyUser

SarahSassy wrote: »

Did you post on thsi recently?

Nope, I know there;s another thread like this where some lads gf is suggesting a threesome for his birthday but thats not me

Its up to you but seeing as your gf is bi then if it was her suggestion I would be curious if its her idea of a legitimate final fling....

Well its both my and my gf's suggestion to be honest and I guess perhaps we both see it as one final fling before a wedding for both of us.
...and yes I think I;d be ok with this given the circumstances.

If it was just my gf's suggestion then I think I might be abit concerned but its not to be honest,

Would you mind being there and not being involved??

Thing is during our discussions it wouldn't be just me watching my gf and the other girl (though this alone for me would be a massive turn on for both of us), we'd both expect it to actively involve both of us.

gf and me, gf and other girl, other girl and me, we both think we'd be ok with this

Nevyn

You need to put aside the woohoo factor of this possibly happening and make a big list of the pros, cons and pitfalls of making this happen and the possible fall due to it afterwards.

You need to make a list of rules betwen you and your partner and agree on them as to things which you do not wish to do and do not wish for them to do, both phyically and verbally and take the time to consider the emotional impact of them esp after the rush of excitement of the situation fades.

Max Power1

If your GF is "the one" then i wouldnt do it.. it has been discussed between my OH and i (both bisexual) and we decided against it... it will complicate your relationship. How would you feel watching your GF having sex with someone that wasnt you?

The_B_Man

nah man, go for it. if u cant get over a thressome, you shouldnt be gettin married. you'll regret it if u dont!

lau1247

sound like a great day for you..

Although you need to set boundaries..
Seen it in a movies a while ago, where the guy paid a little too much attention to the other girl, and the OH got pissed off because of that..

you've been warned..

Nevyn

Max Power1 wrote: »

If your GF is "the one" then i wouldnt do it.. it has been discussed between my OH and i (both bisexual) and we decided against it... it will complicate your relationship. How would you feel watching your GF having sex with someone that wasnt you?

I find the concept of 'the one' to odd, it's a nice idea but life is not that simple
but I would prefer t be in a long term relationship with someone with whom I can explore with rather then not.

So someone being the person you want to share a large chunk of your life whit and place above all others and trust more then any other to me is the ideal person to be able to comfortable and confidently share such experiences with.

Joey the lips

I always have the view of a relationship when it comes to sex like this

If you both have sex once a year and your happy well then thats a perfect relationships, like wise if you both have sex once a year and one of you wants it every day thats a problem

Now for threesomes, If you both are into sex with a third person and its just sex and another session as such, fine! but will it lead to problem, what if you want more with the other than women, what if the other women wants more sex with your moth, what if your moth preferes sex with the other women more but she just wanted a threesome and does not want to ruin a relationship

You can see all the possibilities!

Once you agree on rules I suppose who cares! but the problem with rules is that emotions and rules are like oil and water they just dont mix regardless!

On a plus side! These is nothing better than having 2 women wash you in a shower. Enjoy what ever you choose and dont forget some pics

SarahSassy

Just being a bit picky - dont think its 'moth', I think its spelled 'maith' from the Irish word 'good'. It came from expressions like 'my good woman', 'my good wife' etc... The pronunciation has gone a bit askew since but thats supposed the basis of the expression 'mot / maith'.

I like to think it is anyway, much nicer being called a 'maith' than a 'moth / mot'.



SS

PS apologies for diverting the thread.

Joey the lips

SarahSassy wrote: »

Just being a bit picky - dont think its 'moth', I think its spelled 'maith' from the Irish word 'good'. It came from expressions like 'my good woman', 'my good wife' etc... The pronunciation has gone a bit askew since but thats supposed the basis of the expression 'mot / maith'.

I like to think it is anyway, much nicer being called a 'maith' than a 'moth / mot'.



SS

PS apologies for diverting the thread.

Please refere to no 4 moth is correct. I was asked this before but in that case the posters thought I refered to my mother.

I believe its a dublin thing as in Dublin knocked the sh1t out of weatmeath today

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=moth


Hope the mod is not from westmeath!

Nevyn

I'm not but I should not have to warn against off topic posing ffs like.
Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

dlofnep

Avoid it at all costs. It will create an awkward vibe in the relationship, and the importance of the relationship will be lessened IMO.

Latchy

Might be the fantasy of a lot of males ( and females ) but the ones who actually carry it out are I would imagine ,in the minority .As a one off it might be ok but what if you both get a taste for it ? Suspicions might arise in the relationship ie, is he / she doing it with somebody else to ? It might come back to haunt you both one day .

valery

as long as no one is hurt in any way you should go for it, have to say the thought of a threesome me, oh, and another woman is intriguing but no, just not my buzz.
sure its on "his" bucket list though........men ....?????.

Nevyn

curious guy I suggest you read the rules of this fourm.
Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

AlanD

I say go for it, but set out your rules beforehand and stick to them regardless. If it's something both of you want, then I don't see why not. You must respect everyone involved I think and be very conscious of where the attention is during the act.

But yeah, set out rules like:

Can you kiss the other girl?
Can she kiss the other girl?
Is there penetration of the other girl allowed?
Can she give you oral?

The practical things. Talk about it, see what's ok and what's not ok and stick to the rules. If you want a rule change, talk about it afterwards and maybe change things for the next time.

Above all else, talk about every thing. Keep no feelings secret or you'll walk in to a whole world of potential hurt.

LegacyUser

AlanD wrote: »

I say go for it, but set out your rules beforehand and stick to them regardless. If it's something both of you want, then I don't see why not. You must respect everyone involved I think and be very conscious of where the attention is during the act.

I'd agree I know we have to set the rules, but for both of us its down to the other enjoying themselfs and being happy with what happens.

But yeah, set out rules like:

Can you kiss the other girl?
Can she kiss the other girl?
Is there penetration of the other girl allowed?
Can she give you oral?

Yes we do need to discuss this in more details, my gf kissing the other girl and me kissing the other girl I know is fine though.

penetration and oral is another matter and will need to be discussed, of course when it comes to my gf and the other girl it depends what you class as "sex", but to be honest we are both pretty opened minded so most stuff between my gf and the other girl would be ok I think from my view.

However when it comes to me and the other girl I think penetration would be ok as long as my gf can still be involved in some manner.

When it comes down to it myself and the gf do agree that we should not essentially end up in a situation where affectively the other person is left watching their gf/bf "cheating on them" without them being involved, we agree we both should be involved in stuff.

But as mentioned we def need to discuss this further.

The practical things. Talk about it, see what's ok and what's not ok and stick to the rules. If you want a rule change, talk about it afterwards and maybe change things for the next time.

Above all else, talk about every thing. Keep no feelings secret or you'll walk in to a whole world of potential hurt.

I'd agree we need to discuss everything and make sure we are not hiding concerns or worrys, we both need to be 100% comfortable with what we do.

Has anyone here actually done this though?

KiLLeR CoUCh

Been there, done that, as they say.

Had a threesome with my then bf and another guy about a year or two ago. It was fantastic, really good experience overall. We lay down some rules beforehand, something I'd absolutely recommend. The ones we decided on were

• I was not allowed to kiss the other guy.
• Regardless of how good/bad it went, neither of us should feel under any pressure to have another threesome.
• It wasn't to become a regular thing.

Obviously the rules you and your gf come up with are up to yourselves. All three of us involved made sure it was something we really wanted to do. Afterwards none of us found any awkwardness. It was a fun thing to do. My bf was of the mind he would like to do it again sometime but I was happy with it as a once off. Our sex life got much better afterwards as well. I think it worked so well as neither of us were jealous people and very open to new things.

LegacyUser

Hi,

I wonder if it would have been as enjoyable if the third person was another girl. Did you have full sex with this other guy? Was your bf not jealous of this?

KiLLeR CoUCh

Unregistered wrote: »

Hi,

I wonder if it would have been as enjoyable if the third person was another girl. Did you have full sex with this other guy? Was your bf not jealous of this?

I did have full sex with the other guy but paid attention to my bf at the same time if you get what I mean...

He wasn't jealous in the slightest and nor would I have been had it been with another girl. It was suggested between us that we have a threesome with another girl a couple of months later but we just never got around to it. All of that said, that was just how we worked as a couple, we trusted each other entirely. It's very possible that you could end up in the nip with your gf and a third party and realise one of you has turned into a green eyed monster. That's why you make sure beforehand you're certain it's something you want to do and both of you know that if it gets uncomfortable, you can leave at any time.

LegacyUser

Did the threesome thing once and it destroyed both a relationship and a friendship in one night of stupidity. I was the external girl and even though my friend said she really wanted this with her boyfriend I could tell that it came from him, but I was footloose and fancy free and had never been involved in a loving relationship so didn't think it was that big a deal. They had been together 5 years when this happened. We spoke twice after it (happened in 2004), once to tell me they'd split and once to tell me the friendship was dead because of what we'd done so I don't recommend it at all. It's a guy fantasy but it's not all it's cracked up to be and you may hurt the one you love more than you know. Perhaps hold onto the fantasy because the reality ain't all it's cracked up to be. I'd take it back if I could.

LegacyUser

Threesome?,
there are so many possible outcomes - it could end the relationship, it could strenghten it, you or your girlfriend could fall for this other girl, maybe you feel afterwards it was wrong, or you just don't enjoy it!!! who knows??

if you want it, go for it!!

put all thoughts of the future out of your head. enjoy the moment.
the rules should be that the three of you are equal in that bed.

but forget about planning it. keep an eye but just let it happen.

I've had more than one threesome. all of them just happened more or less spontaneously. two of them with a long term serious girlfriends. there was never any awkwardness or jealousy. and believe me, I thought I would be the last person in the world that would do it.

prinz

Thaedydal wrote: »

I find the concept of 'the one' to odd, it's a nice idea but life is not that simple..

You find that odd.... but find the below perfectly normal and rational I suppose

KiLLeR CoUCh wrote: »

I was not allowed to kiss the other guy.....I did have full sex with the other guy

Unregistered wrote: »

it's not all it's cracked up to be and you may hurt the one you love more than you know. Perhaps hold onto the fantasy because the reality ain't all it's cracked up to be. I'd take it back if I could.

+1.