Can't get my gf to come?

LegacyUser

hey going unreg for this..

with my gf over a year now and we have a fairly good sex life.. there's only one problem, its very hard to make her orgasm.

ok so im kind of looking for everyones opinions on how i could make it easier for her to orgasm. i dont want it to seem like im selfish by me getting all the fun while she ends up frustrated... any techniques i could use beforehand or during sex??

i could use my hands all night and it wouldnt do her any good. she says that proper sex is the only way and that is only after a good length of time so basically another question would be how do i last longer???

thanks in advance...

Mrs Shankly

Hi OP,

I'm female, so don't know how qualified I am to answer the lasting longer question- but I know from my Ex that he would relieve himself before we met up on occasion, this made him last longer.

Another thing you could do for her is put a pillow under her for extra height, that can work wonders for her!

legend365

Try the 'stopping before the point of no return' method. After a few 'stops' you'll get used to it and be banging away lookin at the clock wondering whens dinner.

Hands wont work?

Suppose all ladies a different.

~me~

are you 'using your hands'in the right area?? without sounding blunt, some women cant reach their goal through penetration alone if you get my drift?
as for lasting longer- performa condoms!

lau1247

i have a video link.. it is NSFW, therefore not appropriate to post here.. pm me

LegacyUser

OP here again..
thanks for the advice so far guys!!
just wondering eh what do those performa condoms do thats supposed to make you last longer????
i think i have come to the conclusion that if i last longer i can get her to orgasm so thats probobly my problem atm..

Joey the lips

Have you ever considered going twice so to speak.

Special K

My boyf has the same problem - I only wish he'd read this thread!! I find it difficult to come from penetrative sex alone - I need my clit to be stimulated. He seems to fumble a little with his hands, and I end up doing it myself!

Use your thumb in a circular motion, lightly at first then applying more pressure. Also, you can masturbate yourself when she's not around and before climaxing just stop! It's hell but it'll help you to last longer. Sometimes I think that's my problem as I used to masturbate a lot so it takes longer for me to cum.

If you want to focus on her, ask her what she likes! Get her to guide your hands to show you. I do that with my bf sometimes but other times I feel he's embarrassed, but that's another issue! Best of luck.

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Special K wrote: »

My boyf has the same problem - I only wish he'd read this thread!! I find it difficult to come from penetrative sex alone - I need my clit to be stimulated. He seems to fumble a little with his hands, and I end up doing it myself!

Use your thumb in a circular motion, lightly at first then applying more pressure. Also, you can masturbate yourself when she's not around and before climaxing just stop! It's hell but it'll help you to last longer. Sometimes I think that's my problem as I used to masturbate a lot so it takes longer for me to cum.

If you want to focus on her, ask her what she likes! Get her to guide your hands to show you. I do that with my bf sometimes but other times I feel he's embarrassed, but that's another issue! Best of luck.

Maybe you should tell him this?? They don't come with instruction manuals....

Also having a tug and stopping before climax will not help the OP last longer. It will give him a dose of blueballs and make him come quicker the next time. The proverbial "one in the chamber"!!

OP, get her to show you what gets her off, she'll appreciate the interest and at least it shows you want to please her. I gave up trying to find out for myself, they're only too happy to point the way and once you get there you'll quickly discover other ways to hit the back of the net.

kayos

1) You can not make someone climax. If they are not in the right mindset and open to climax then sorry about you its not really going to happen.

2) Talk to your OH, Ask what feels good, ask her to guide you (faster/slower/harder/softer/up a bit down a bit etc). Every body is different and she is the only one that knows exactly what feels good for her. Everyone here giving exact advice on where/how to do it for her is speaking from their personnal point of view be it on the recieving end or the giving.

3) Listen to her, a change in breathing or a little moan could indicate your doing something that feels good so stay doing it exactly (pressure, speed, location).

4) Do not make it a goal, if you do then there is pressure on her to achieve climax which could prevent it even more.

5) Learn the different area's that can bring about pleasure for your OH. It might be the more obvious ones like clit/gspot you think I'm talking about but the whole body and mind is to be explored. So this might mean running a nice bath for her, followed by a long massage, kissing her from head to toe and then proceeding to more intimate stimulation.

6) Talk to her, talk to her, talk to her.

7) Did I mention talk to her?

LegacyUser

I find that decent build up and anticipation gets my lady off super duper quickly in the end... kiss her all over, tease her and caress her gently before going straight for the kill... draw out the foreplay and have her absolutly gagging for it!

I would suggest laying her out on a table waist high when you go for 'the ride'. Means you dont have to lean your weight on your hands (i.e. like when you're on top in bed) and your hands arent restricted from stimulating her (i.e. like when she's on top)... you're on your feet and can use your hands and thumb in particular to massage her bean. Sorted. Make sure it's nicely lubed though.