going to a Wedding today

Casshern88

So going to a wedding with the girl friend today. long story short i dont know many people there from her family , shes a bridesmade so im going to be abandoned for most of the day , any suggestion as to what to do for the day ?

drunkmonkey

Drink?

My name is URL

The other bridesmaid

dr.bollocko

Chew the scenery, get incredibly bored, avoid eye contact with everyone, wait till the interminable ceremony is over so you can look forward to the diabolical band and even worse food, awful speeches and chats to the country cousins about the GAA. Drink too much, get sick, hold your girlfriend's hair back while she gets sick on her probably horrible dress and then watch as somebody punches someone else in the face for no reason.

Suaimhneach

Make an effort to get to know her family and be rememebered as a lovely gentleman so that if ever, one day, it's your wedding, they know you're a good guy.

Just dont get hammered.

Jay D

Janie mack...

Have you any confidence? Go there and sit at the wedding, you'll share a table with a few strangers afterwards for meal... Talk to them, they will more than likely respond.

Then after a while your bitch will be back and you can dance the night away...

Captain-America

Get really really drunk and let what happens happen.

upmeath

dr.bollocko wrote: »

Chew the scenery, get incredibly bored, avoid eye contact with everyone, wait till the interminable ceremony is over so you can look forward to the diabolical band and even worse food, awful speeches and chats to the country cousins about the GAA. Drink too much, get sick, hold your girlfriend's hair back while she gets sick on her probably horrible dress and then watch as somebody punches someone else in the face for no reason.

Insightful, dr.bollocko :eek: I've never been to a wedding remotely like that. True though, the bands are insufferably cheesy!

ronbyrne2005

Keep mumbling to yourself. It should keep boring people away. At reception/dinner put your tie around your head and keep repeating phrases from Rambo movies.

ronbyrne2005

upmeath wrote: »

Insightful, dr.bollocko :eek: I've never been to a wedding remotely like that. True though, the bands are insufferably cheesy!

Last wedding i was at had belly dancers and the band were very cool and the DJ played rage against the machine .

Vain

Ask your girlfriend to marry you before ye head to the church. She will be hanging off you all day then. Plus when you tell her tomorrow you were only messing you will have a nice and relaxing Sunday on your own. Win win.

Saibh

Claim your undying love for the groom bride during the speeches at the reception, wedding won't be dull after that!

ronbyrne2005

If the reception is in a hotel theres usually somewhere else like a bar to sneak off to.

Casshern88

have to be at church at 2 still sitting at home half haked , really should get ready

Abi

Casshern88 wrote: »

So going to a wedding with the girl friend today. long story short i dont know many people there from her family , shes a bridesmade so im going to be abandoned for most of the day , any suggestion as to what to do for the day ?

Not really, just up to taking the pics etc. She'll get so p1ssed off smiling for the camera all the time, she's likely to sneak off for a breather every now and again. Oh, and I don't recommend you get rat-arsed either, you don't want to be the one that everyone remembers for all the wrong reasons.

Introduce yourself to some people, there are probably a few in the same boat as you. Dance with a flower girl, listen to the crazy aul wans stories, have a sneaky quick one with the gf at some point.. eat, drink, and be merry. Whats not to love about weddings, so long as your head isn't the one on the chopping block?

dr.bollocko

Casshern88 wrote: »

have to be at church at 2 still sitting at home half haked , really should get ready

Scratch that. Go naked. Bottom half. Maybe it's a disney themed wedding and if it is you're already ready.

TequilaMockingBird

I've been to a few weddings where my partner was the Best Man, but I didn't really know the people. I'd like to say I enjoyed them. But that would be lying.

You will be put at the "Who the f*ck do we put him sitting next too table?".

There will be a couple with a jovial man/woman who's partner is not impressed by his/her drinking and over loud shenanigans, a couple where the man has some sort of vague mental health issues (the wife will look 20 years older than her actual age), another random single person (who is obviously single for a reason) and someone who thinks they really shouldn't be sitting at this table of losers, as they are higher up in the chain of relations and is pissed off as a result.

Enjoy!!

phasers

Get really really hammered and start a few fights

dr.bollocko

phasers wrote: »

Get really really hammered and start a few fights

I see you've been to similar weddings to me then!

Zwillinge

Good luck.

Weddings are hell when they're your friends as you have to hear about all the preparation and have to deal with the stress and the OMGs.

Not even your mates...dress, go, get drunk and chat to the random folk you'll be next to at the table. Try not to roll your eyes too much at the whole thing :rolleyes:

giggsy664

Abigayle wrote: »

Not really, just up to taking the pics etc. She'll get so p1ssed off smiling for the camera all the time, she's likely to sneak off for a breather every now and again. Oh, and I don't recommend you get rat-arsed either, you don't want to be the one that everyone remembers for all the wrong reasons.

Introduce yourself to some people, there are probably a few in the same boat as you. Dance with a flower girl, listen to the crazy aul wans stories, have a sneaky quick one with the gf at some point.. eat, drink, and be merry. Whats not to love about weddings, so long as your head isn't the one on the chopping block?

Hey hey!!! This is cashern88 we're talking about, not snyper

ronbyrne2005

"have a sneaky quick one with the gf at some point"
Quick what? elaborate.

Abi

ronbyrne2005 wrote: »

"have a sneaky quick one with the gf at some point"
Quick what? elaborate.

Shyte

Fizman

ronbyrne2005 wrote: »

"have a sneaky quick one with the gf at some point"
Quick what? elaborate.

A quick sandwich.

What do u think?

Casshern88

getting ready there just realised i could not tie my tie with no one else in house and i could not follow the youtube instructions, had to go out on to the street and ask these to old random women too do it for me haha

brummytom

Casshern88 wrote: »

getting ready there just realised i could not tie my tie with no one else in house and i could not follow the youtube instructions, had to go out on to the street and ask these to old random women too do it for me haha

What did you wear at school?!

Casshern88

brummytom wrote: »

What did you wear at school?!

nothing....

brummytom

Casshern88 wrote: »

nothing....

Ahh... Christian Brothers?

df1985

get hammered and make a show of yourself.everyone will know ya then!

deman

I'm sorry cashern88 but you seem to be a total retard. You don't know how to tie ties and have no idea how to socialise. Yeah. Looks like you be stuck at the weirdo table.

tok9

i was at a wedding yesterday... i was staving.. at one stage i just went to the car park and tried to get to sleep in the middle of it... one of the uncles found me and got me a bed!:D it was great

synesthesia

dr.bollocko wrote: »

Scratch that. Go naked. Bottom half. Maybe it's a disney themed wedding and if it is you're already ready.

how cute

markok84

dr.bollocko wrote: »

Chew the scenery, get incredibly bored, avoid eye contact with everyone, wait till the interminable ceremony is over so you can look forward to the diabolical band and even worse food, awful speeches and chats to the country cousins about the GAA. Drink too much, get sick, hold your girlfriend's hair back while she gets sick on her probably horrible dress and then watch as somebody punches someone else in the face for no reason.

I dunno how you did it so succinctly but that describes EVERY wedding I've been to.

dr.bollocko

deman wrote: »

I'm sorry cashern88 but you seem to be a total retard. You don't know how to tie ties and have no idea how to socialise. Yeah. Looks like you be stuck at the weirdo table.

Wedding Banned.
No personal abuse tolerated.

galwayrush

dr.bollocko wrote: »

Wedding Banned.
.

I see what you did there... excellent/:D

In All Fairness

Try to find the bride's alcoholic brother and remain two pints behind him. If you have gauged things correctly not only will you be blitzed but there's a good chance your gf will keep her high heels on later as a bit of a treat/reward.;)