Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest
How long does loneliness last after LTR?
-
26-06-2009 10:16pm#1broke up with my boyfriend of 5years a few weeks ago and im so lonely, ive never felt so alone, im not looking to get into another relationship, im just wondering has anyone gone through this? and how long it lasts? and do u have to get into another relationship for it to go away?!
ok heres the jist, 5years together, moved out together at start of year, realised it wasnt working and relationship was gone so now im on my own in house, well with my daughter whos 7. so i cant 'go out on mad ones' to ease the loneliness!
i have plenty of friends but they cant be with me all the time and i feel like i cant be calling on them constantly.
advice would be truly appreciated guys
0
Comments
-
-
Yup..it happens to most people post-break up (including the breaker-uper!).
People cope with it in different ways. As you said friends or clubs, societies, etc.
Thats what i did anyway and dont get a chance to feel lonely.
I'm sure you could fill the gaps with somthing that your interested in.
I'm taking up the guitair aswell in the spare time i get :P
so far all iv been doing to 'fill up' the time is the internet
iv gone out a few times and feel ok when im out but then im back in the house alone and it kills me.
i know it probably sounds awful but having only a 7yr old for company makes it worse, end up craving adult company 0 -
broke up with my boyfriend of 5years a few weeks ago and im so lonely, ive never felt so alone, im not looking to get into another relationship, im just wondering has anyone gone through this? and how long it lasts? and do u have to get into another relationship for it to go away?!
ok heres the jist, 5years together, moved out together at start of year, realised it wasnt working and relationship was gone so now im on my own in house, well with my daughter whos 7. so i cant 'go out on mad ones' to ease the loneliness!
i have plenty of friends but they cant be with me all the time and i feel like i cant be calling on them constantly.
advice would be truly appreciated guys
Hey OP. Yep - doesn't this feel like a big ball of shyte? My heart goes out to you. The stinging feeling in your chest, the emptiness, the wanting to be over it, the mulling over thoughts. Etc etc.
But the good news is, it does get better. The even good-er (? lol) news is that you actually control how long this affects you.
5 years of your life with someone is a substantial amount of time. So you're in a period of readjustment now. Basically, you're getting back in touch with yourself. And learning to live your life from this point forward without the other person. Almost - it's like breaking a habit of sorts. And we all know that habits can be broken if the will is strong enough.
It is a common myth that a rebound guy or going out on mad one's will help. Rarely does tbh. It just reinforces the emptiness and loneliness. Protect yourself from this and don't resort to quick fixes to paper over the cracks.
The friends one is tricky. I know that feeling. But how about you aim to see the elusive friends once a month. So if you see *sarah this weekend, *laura the weekend after, *amy the weekend after that and *claire the weekend after that. Wash. rinse. repeat. There's a night of every weekend filled.
Next, how about taking up something that you'd never dared try before but have always wanted to do? Not only will you give your life a bit of pep, you will have a sense of achievement and that's unbeatable when you're feeling low.
A few things you can do on your own - go to a coffee house with a thrilling book, buy cheapo face masks and pampering products and have a 'me' day, bring your lovely daughter to the park and feed the ducks, be a kid for the day with your daughter and hit the playground.
The exciting thing about all of this is, your life is your own again. If you look at this any other way, you'll depress yourself. When the bad thoughts come, dismiss them. Remember that the past ceases to exist and the future is not yet here. This moment right now is all you have. So do you waste this moment feeling blue or do you stop ignore the bad feelings and do something nice for yourself?
If you live in the moment and do things you enjoy, then you simply wont have the time to lament over your breakup.
This takes discipline and takes a small bit of time. But it sure beats sitting around in your PJ's feeling like crap.
Best of luck and chin up. You WILL be fine.;)0 -
-
@ Trí
thanks so much, god im crying reading ur post!
i like this..."This moment right now is all you have. So do you waste this moment feeling blue or do you stop ignore the bad feelings and do something nice for yourself?"
ill try remember this when i get down.
thank u so much for your advice, u seem to have it down to a tee.
Well thank you. I'm so glad I helped. There's no denying that it feels crappy now. I've been there. And not just the once either. Bloody men.:p Ha ha - joke!
Remember that line re the present moment and use that as your mantra. I've only just come across it properly myself and am trying to apply it to my daily life. It really does work. But it requires a bit of effort. Its worth it though. What's the alternative? Sitting around feeling meh for days on end? Eh - no thanks. You with me?
Good luck girl. Rooting for ya. XXX0 -
Advertisement
-
Well thank you. I'm so glad I helped. There's no denying that it feels crappy now. I've been there. And not just the once either. Bloody men.:p Ha ha - joke!
Remember that line re the present moment and use that as your mantra. I've only just come across it properly myself and am trying to apply it to my daily life. It really does work. But it requires a bit of effort. Its worth it though. What's the alternative? Sitting around feeling meh for days on end? Eh - no thanks. You with me?
Good luck girl. Rooting for ya. XXX
i suppose it makes sense really, if u think in the now, the moment, its harder to get caught up in the 'what happened' and 'what ifs'.
ill definitely try it, i know its gona be hard, its completely new to me and a shock, i didnt think id feel like this at all.
i know its awful but im glad to know someone else has gone through this and survived!! not that im glad u had to go through it of course!
seriously good advice, ill let u know how i get one with it. thank u hun 0 -
i suppose it makes sense really, if u think in the now, the moment, its harder to get caught up in the 'what happened' and 'what ifs'.
ill definitely try it, i know its gona be hard, its completely new to me and a shock, i didnt think id feel like this at all.
i know its awful but im glad to know someone else has gone through this and survived!! not that im glad u had to go through it of course!
seriously good advice, ill let u know how i get one with it. thank u hun
Well I am glad I did go through it. As with everything else in my life. All lessons learned. And i'm stronger for it now. As you will be. And you'll also feel proud for turning it around for yourself.
Do indeed let me know how you get on. No doubt you'll do great. Best of luck.;)0 -
-
Unregistered wrote: »Four weeks for me now...I've been GUTTED...but friends are pulling me through...First day today that things seem brighter..
Have a listen to this ...helped me...
<snip>
Take Care of yourself
xx
could you tell me what the youtube clip was even? 0 -
-
Advertisement
-
Hi maameeo
Hope you're feeling better. I've had my fair share of heartache also. My ex dumped me in March. I still miss him but my weekends have been full of hanging out with family and friends and I've taken up running as well so that takes up a few evenings a week.
I still cant look at another guy but I'm not sitting around thinking about him anymore 0 -
Unregistered wrote: »Hilary Duff 'Someone's watching over me' ... my 15 year old daughter downloaded it for me to help me feel better cos she never I was gutted....
Mind you met another this weekend...best therapy EVER :-)
Take Care of yourself x
thanks, ill look that upHi maameeo
Hope you're feeling better. I've had my fair share of heartache also. My ex dumped me in March. I still miss him but my weekends have been full of hanging out with family and friends and I've taken up running as well so that takes up a few evenings a week.
I still cant look at another guy but I'm not sitting around thinking about him anymore
im thinking keeping busy is the key, im trying to pack my evenings and weekends with things, but its just those times when nothing happens and your left to think and be lonely, thats the hardest.
hope ur ok!! 0 -
-
Advertisement