Please help/advise

LegacyUser

I have been having some problems with my oh for a while now and i would like some advice.
we've been together for five years and have two kids.
i am unsure as to what i should do. since our children were born he has become reliant on me for money. he has become lazy and arrogant. expecting me to mind our children all of the time while he goes out with friends, whereas if i go out with friends he insists on a curfew (not in so many words but ive to give a time il be home at). he gives out about me being moody/nagging but the only reason i nag is because i am so overwhelmed by his lack of support- emotional, physical and financial.
we have rowed alot about these issues (with me contemplating leaving him) and he always promises to stop but he never does; or he does for a week and falls back into old habits.
i cannot continue with this as right now i am the one bringing up our two kids financially. he contributes nothing financially.
ultimatums have been thrown around so many times but when it comes down to it i have never wanted to actually leave but i am now thinking it is the only way il be happy.
please help, im at my wits end.
thanks.

newtoboards

Have you considered contacting the likes of Accord or other such organisations for some counselling. It may be good for you at the very least to get these issues off your chest.

35notout

You say you have contemplated leaving him before, but changed your mind - what changed your mind?

Did the reason you changed your mind actually come to fruition? ie - did he change his behaviour?

If not, then I think, deep down, you know what you should do....

LegacyUser

OP here.
the reason i didnt leave was because i do love him.and as cliched as it is- for the kids. but right now im starting to see that ive sacrificed so much because i love him but hes not willing to do the bare minimum in return. and hes really not listening to my needs.
ive suggested counselling but hes against it. like i said he sees it as me being a nag. for a while i was unsure as to whether or not it was just me wanting too much but now i see that its him not bothering.
it seems like ive made up my mind but somehow i just cant leave him, but if i stay il be worn out.

SarahSassy

Leave him, even if you know you will go back and it may be the lesson he needs. He has gotten lazy and complacent but then on the other hand you have let him.

You are unhappy, make the move and watch him come to heel. No one else would put up with him TBH

RSA ADI MARK

hi hope you don't mind my bit ,if you leave him who knews what he will do to your'e home,and will he let you back ,see if he can go ,your'e the one who is supporting the home financially