Trouble with work collegue

LegacyUser

Hi all,

goin unreg for this. Have posted a few times in other threads but pretty new to boards. Hoping some people here can give me some advice.

I am having a bit of trouble with a work collegue, as the title suggests
I work in quite a small office, there are 6 of us, including the boss. I work close enough with this person I suppose but I just think that they are constantly looking for fault with my work. They are very accusatory (sp) if something is wrong and automatically blame me without looking to see who actually made the mistake. They constantly pick up on tiny little things and point them out in front of everyone. If I come across a mistake that someone else made I just fix it and say nothing, unless it is a pretty big mistake.

I love my job but dread coming in some mornings. I have thought about saying something to my boss but how do you explain that it is the way a person makes you feel, without sounding like you are just whining about nothing. It can be the way this person speaks sometimes too, they can be very mean and short.
What can I do? I hate confrontation and don't think there would be a very good atmosphere in the office if I did say something.
I hate using this phrase but it feels like this person has a pick on me and it is really getting me down.

Nody

Have a private chat with the person; go out for lunch or similar and ask them in private where there will be no scene if it blows up. They might not even be aware that you are feeling picked up.

LegacyUser

Thanks for replying but I think that there would still be an atmosphere with her if I said anything, even outside of the office, and believe me that would not comfortable. Also, i think she knows that she makes me feel this way, she singles me out, will not mention mistakes she comes across that another person made, a person that she is very friendly with.
I think it would make matters worse if i said something so I think really what I am asking is should I approach the boss and how should I word it if I do. Or do I just put up with it and look for another job?

kittenkiller

Ask your boss for a one to one chat and ask him/her to confirm that this person is not your superior.
Once this has been established, ask your boss's advice as to how to deal with the person when they start criticizing your work again.

If the person *is* your superior ask for the general guidelines given to management for dealing with errors like the ones that have been pointed out.

This way, you’re not involved with a direct confrontation but rather asking innocently enough where you stand and alerting your boss to the issue incase something ever arose from it.

Best of luck OP, it sounds miserable.

LegacyUser

Thanks Kittkenkiller. That's good advice. The boss is a really nice person that I get on well with so I thought it might be easier to speak to them directly.
It is making me miserable, and as I have said before I love my job and get on really well with everyone else but so does this person. I don't believe in bitching in the office so I haven't spoken to anyone else about it. I just hate feeling like this, I'm 26 years old for heaven's sake!

BumbleB

Unregistered wrote: »

Hi all,

goin unreg for this. Have posted a few times in other threads but pretty new to boards. Hoping some people here can give me some advice.

I am having a bit of trouble with a work collegue, as the title suggests
I work in quite a small office, there are 6 of us, including the boss. I work close enough with this person I suppose but I just think that they are constantly looking for fault with my work. They are very accusatory (sp) if something is wrong and automatically blame me without looking to see who actually made the mistake. They constantly pick up on tiny little things and point them out in front of everyone. If I come across a mistake that someone else made I just fix it and say nothing, unless it is a pretty big mistake.

I love my job but dread coming in some mornings. I have thought about saying something to my boss but how do you explain that it is the way a person makes you feel, without sounding like you are just whining about nothing. It can be the way this person speaks sometimes too, they can be very mean and short.
What can I do? I hate confrontation and don't think there would be a very good atmosphere in the office if I did say something.
I hate using this phrase but it feels like this person has a pick on me and it is really getting me down.

Start making a diary of this you could be dealing with a bully.Very often people like that are not particularly good at their job and they want to take the attention off themselves. It's usually people with low self esteem.

jenny4385

OP i know exactly how you feel.. mine was made more complicated by fact that collegue good friends with supervisor, it went to hr n things are worse than ever

Mrs OBumble

What do the other three people in the office think? Have they noticed that the person is picking on you?

One strategy would be for you to stop making mistakes, so she has nothing to pick on.

LegacyUser

JustMary wrote: »

One strategy would be for you to stop making mistakes, so she has nothing to pick on.

OP here. Believe me, i like this job and I do try my best not to make mistakes. I am extremely busy in work and try as I may, sometimes certain little things do fall through the net, we all make mistakes from time to time.
Anyway, today, this person made out that there was something I was meant to be doing all along but it was the first I heard of it. I just let it go so as not to cause a row but it makes me look bad to the others in the office.

jobucks

Unregistered wrote: »

OP here. Believe me, i like this job and I do try my best not to make mistakes. I am extremely busy in work and try as I may, sometimes certain little things do fall through the net, we all make mistakes from time to time.
Anyway, today, this person made out that there was something I was meant to be doing all along but it was the first I heard of it. I just let it go so as not to cause a row but it makes me look bad to the others in the office.

Hi OP, I'm sorry to hear about your situation, however "leaving things go" is probably not doing you any favours. I was in a similar situation about 10 years ago and it made me that upset I ended up leaving a job that I loved. I'd urge you not to leave it go that far and stick up for yourself, go and speak to her superior and explain the situation, make a diary of anything she does or says to you and don't take no for an answer, things like this in the workplace are overlooked far too often at the detriment of peoples health and emotions.

If the same thing happened to me now, I wouldn't settle until I had peace of mind.

I hope it all goes well for you and I'd urge you not to leave things go any longer. You've done nothing wrong and there is nothing to be ashamed of.

kittenkiller

OP you should speak with your boss sooner rather than later.

I always find that once I notice something, even if I don't say somthing there and then, I expect everyone to know about it and get hostile when nothing is done about it (maybe that's just me), there's no point in letting things slide, each one will eat away at you until it's too late.

Tomorrow's Friday, say something before the weekend.

Mrs OBumble

Unregistered wrote: »

today, this person made out that there was something I was meant to be doing all along but it was the first I heard of it. I just let it go so as not to cause a row but it makes me look bad to the others in the office.

You've not said that your colleagues support you. This makes me think that there may be more going on than you realise. The only person who can sort this out is your manager. You really, really, need to talk to him/her, and stop "letting things go": if there is a problem, deal with it in a mature, responsible way instead of running away and hoping it will disappear.