Shagging failure

LegacyUser

been seein someone i met a few times and really like them. anyways, the story is when it came to sex, i didnt have experience shall we say. neways we couldnt get it in. i felt so embarrassed. i dunno, maybe it was too big? i mean i can just about get a finger in. he still wants to meet up and use lubricant or something but im scared of it all going wrong for the second time. thats just wrong. i think im 2 tense 2. does that really make a difference? ive been giving him the cold shoulder yet he seems to want me more when i dont want him. i still like him though. its just the sex thing im terrible at. this is one embarrassing post.

Michellenman

It's aaalllll about relaxation. If you're not comfortable and maybe haven't had sex before then things aren't going to run smoothly. Take things slowly, there's no rush. If it isn't happening then take a break and fool around or whatever, there are plenty of other fun things you can do other than full sex that'll yield the same result. Don't let yourself be forced in to anything.

Faith

How old are you both?

muboop1

Unregistered wrote: »

been seein someone i met a few times and really like them. anyways, the story is when it came to sex, i didnt have experience shall we say. neways we couldnt get it in. i felt so embarrassed. i dunno, maybe it was too big? i mean i can just about get a finger in. he still wants to meet up and use lubricant or something but im scared of it all going wrong for the second time. thats just wrong. i think im 2 tense 2. does that really make a difference? ive been giving him the cold shoulder yet he seems to want me more when i dont want him. i still like him though. its just the sex thing im terrible at. this is one embarrassing post.

hey gal,
firstly, stop worrying.
This actually happens to quite a few girls i know.
Including my gf at first.

Are you 100% comfortable with this guy? If you aren't this will be so so much harder... If you are scared you will tighten up, you may not even realise you are scared. But this can happen anyway. Thats why i say ud want to be 100% comfortable. Or get very comfortable and relaxed with this guy.

The setting can influence it to. Are you somewhere you wont be caught etc...

TAKE IT SLOW.

If it is uncomfortable u need to slow down and/or relax, took a few go's for me and the gf spread over about 2 weeks for it to work. If we took a break for more then a few days between she went back to how she was previous. (but it gets easier each time)

You can take him, thats not the problem, just ur body hasn't adjusted to such a thing yet.

Go slow, lube may help, not completely, but might take the edge off.

Don't expect dramatic results, or that it will work automatically.

You need to be very vocal with him aswell. If it hurts and you want him to stop, he needs to know he will have to stop, and that most likely it wont work first few times so this is what is likely to happen.

This is nothing to be embarressed about. If her of women who were highly sexually active for years, then had a dry patch for a year or 2 and be in same situation as you. The only difference is, they have the experience to knwo ti will work. That seems to play a part is making them more comfortable. Thus making it easier.

This is all just from my experience... I have a lot in this area. But it will be different for everyone.

Main things are, it wont work straight away,
reason, nerves and your natural size is smaller
Nothing to be embarressed about, in fact, in future you will retain a tighter vagina in general which will make sex in future more pleasurable for you. so in long run u win

Find a place and person you trust and are comfortable with and take it slow.


Enjoy.

LegacyUser

23 and 27....i now believe im no good at this and wont go through with it again...

This

so no sex ever again?!!!

come on.... ya didnt learn to ride a bike first time ya got on it..... some people fail there driving test 3 times... just relax take it slow it will happen

LegacyUser

taking it slow. it was a rushed mess. it sounds easy. i think il be even more nervous the next time. when he told me to relax, i do the opposite. this has really put me off. i cant look at him in the eye and struggle AGAIN at this.

LegacyUser

Why dont you take a step back & have a few dates with him without sex so that you'll get to know him better & feel more comfortable with him. When you feel more at ease with him, then try again.

This

then dont plan it... just see him outside the bed room do other things etc maybe the urge might just over take

Faith

You sound like you're not ready in the slightest. At 23, you've waited this long, why rush it now? Did you explain to him that you're a virgin? Get him to concentrate on foreplay for a long time first so you're relaxed. You can't rush things your first time.

LegacyUser

The muscles around your vag are tightening up due to nerves. You have to learn to relax.

Also remember the vag is like a tube that is at an angle, it does not go straight up, it goes from the enterance twords the small of your back.

A lot of novice couples mistakenly try to shove it upwards and this is painful, putting the girl off even more.

Its at a 45 degree angle.

When you are on your own, get some lube and gently feel around. Dont try to force fingers in at first just mess around and see whats what.

When you get used to things, move on to doing some messing around with your boyfriend. Take the pressure off though. Dont try to force intercourse yet if its not happening.

Slow down. Get confident with just messing around, you will relax in time.