Big Softie when using a condom

LegacyUser · 23-06-2009 10:59am #1

My OH is super sexy and we still have a lot of chemistry between us. I recently came off the pill and am enjoying a surge in 'interest' in him but once the time comes to put on a condom he tends to lose momentum - if you know what I mean. He does not like condoms but equally I dont like the pill. Any ideas for keeping him 'interested' until the condom is on? Its getting quite frustrating.

LauraLoo · 23-06-2009 11:18am

try the coil?

LegacyUser · 23-06-2009 11:26am

I've been with my OH a few years now, and we're totally comfortable with each other, but he has this weirdness about condoms too! Basically we'll be at the foreplay or whatever, but when it comes to actually putting it on, he has to go out to the en-suite - or else goes to the other side of the room, but tells me not to look. It sounds really bizarre now that I'm typing it, and I'm well aware it's not normal, but he has no other weirdnesses in that area, and doesn't have any problems as regards getting/keeping it up, so it doesn't bother me.

But maybe your guy is the same - maybe it's not the condom itself, it's you watching him that makes him uncomfortable for some reason?

ManOfMystery · 23-06-2009 11:28am

You could help him with putting it on, make it part of the act so to speak

LegacyUser · 23-06-2009 1:37pm

I was with a girl one night who put the condom on with her mouth!!! I normally hate the fuss about putting condoms on and this was amazing - i didn't have to think about it.

Start putting it on for him - that could do the trick.

Nervous Wreck · 23-06-2009 1:37pm

Softie Lover wrote: »

My OH is super sexy and we still have a lot of chemistry between us. I recently came off the pill and am enjoying a surge in 'interest' in him but once the time comes to put on a condom he tends to lose momentum - if you know what I mean. He does not like condoms but equally I dont like the pill. Any ideas for keeping him 'interested' until the condom is on? Its getting quite frustrating.

I'm usually fine with staying interested when putting a condom on but a few times in the past, I have gone a bit.... nonchalant while negotiating the thing. Without being overly crude, kiss his neck and/or play with his balls. Always gets me even MORE ready for sex. But don't just break contact and sit there waiting cos that's very unsexy....

LegacyUser · 23-06-2009 1:50pm

Have had this problem myself. If you're comfortable with it, pleasure yourself in front of him while he's putting it on. Works for me!

petes · 23-06-2009 1:51pm

I normally have no problem doing this either. As Nervous Wreck said do something instead of sitting there waiting. Last few girls I was with did and there was no problem.

Rb · 23-06-2009 3:08pm

Don't be surprised if he leaves you.

Condoms are horrible and if he's used to just using the pill, it really, really destroys sex to be going back to condoms.

ManOfMystery · 23-06-2009 3:09pm

Leave her if he can't use a certain method of contraception? Talk about a ridiculous over-reaction.

Rb · 23-06-2009 4:17pm

ManOfMystery wrote: »

Leave her if he can't use a certain method of contraception? Talk about a ridiculous over-reaction.

I said don't be surprised, not expect it.

Reason being that sex is an integral part of a relationship and as I said, if he was used to doing it naturally and then having to regress to a condom, it could potentially ruin sex for him. Certainly if they're only together a short time.

It'd be OTT but not unexpected.

OP says it's getting frustrating, simple answer is to go back on the pill really. You can't equate the pill with condoms.

sam34 · 23-06-2009 4:48pm

Rb wrote: »

simple answer is to go back on the pill really. You can't equate the pill with condoms.

it may not be that "simple". we dont know why she came off the pill - i know she said she doesnt like it, but that could be for a variety of reasons.

maybe she came off it because of medical advice. maybe she ran into serious health complications, be that DVT/PE or other side effects.

it may not be advisable for her to go back on it.

Permabear · 23-06-2009 6:08pm

This post has been deleted.

LegacyUser · 23-06-2009 7:08pm

Rb wrote: »

OP says it's getting frustrating, simple answer is to go back on the pill really. You can't equate the pill with condoms.

that's a very unfair thing to say, the pill has far more effects on a woman than a condom does on a man

OP, like donegalfella says, try different brands of condoms.
The first time my OH used these (http://www.pinkapple.com/Condoms/InSpiral/114/Inspiral-Spiral-Shape.html), he found it very difficult not to blow his load quite quickly after putting it on.

LegacyUser · 23-06-2009 9:40pm

Rb wrote: »

I said don't be surprised, not expect it.

Reason being that sex is an integral part of a relationship and as I said, if he was used to doing it naturally and then having to regress to a condom, it could potentially ruin sex for him. Certainly if they're only together a short time.

It'd be OTT but not unexpected.

OP says it's getting frustrating, simple answer is to go back on the pill really. You can't equate the pill with condoms.

Damn right you can't equate the pill with condoms. I HATE taking the pill- my appetite goes all over the place (either really hungry or not wanting to eat at all), it has had a bad effect on my exzema, and I can be a bit emotionally unstable because of it- that's why I'm changing to the patch next week. More or less the same thing I know, worth a try. Maybe the OP could try that?

I definitely think that helping him to put the condom on could help things along. I know some men just don't like using them, but don't give up just yet, give it a few more tries. As for this nonsense of him breaking up with her because she doesn't want to take the pill, what a load of rubbish. I'm not saying it wouldn't happen, but it'd be a ridiculous reason to break up with someone, and she'd be better off without him of that was the case.

Good luck OP, hope it works out for you

legend365 · 23-06-2009 10:40pm

Same thing somtimes happens me.

Its like im concentratin on puttin this rubber slimey thing on safely nd properley that i forget about the naked chick infront of me O_o

aranrn · 23-06-2009 10:45pm

Yeah could be a size thing. Struggling to get a condom on is a real passion killer. Buy him some oversized so it slips on nice and easy. Also take him in your mouth or your hand while he's pulling the packaging off. Keeps the momentum going.

gaeilgegrinds · 24-06-2009 12:16am

How about the implant? Or the coil as was suggested earlier? Or the female condom?

txt_mess · 24-06-2009 9:34am

First thing first don't feel guilty that he is taking the role of looking after the contraception for a while after all it's a two person job to be doing it.

Personally I don't like putting them on face to face with my other half mainly because my concentration face is enough to put any woman off the mood , I wouldn't take it as an insult if he turns away just to sort out the business.

The only two pieces of advice I can offer that might help is a) buy a 16 pack and practice as the faster he gets it on the less likely he will lose concentration b) there are rings you can buy to help hold the blood up the right end that might help.

Big Softie when using a condom

Comments