Strange situation at work - how would you handle this?

LegacyUser

ok, well basically I work in an area with two other girls. One is my manager and one is on the same level as me. My manager is generally quite difficult to work with and is quite moody. You often have to tiptoe around her. However, I'm used to it at this stage and we've found a way to work well together where we get on well, work hard and have a chat/laugh every so often. All in all work was usually a fairly pleasant place.

My manager is going on maternity leave in 6 weeks and I'm covering her role for a year. I'm really looking forward to it as is my colleague as she is, as I mentioned above, quite difficult sometimes. However, my issue is that over the last week she has stopped talking to my and my other colleague. If you ask her a question about work she'll give a short, snappy answer. Otherwise we all sit there in silence, where before we would have chatted every so often. If you ask her a question, not work related or you make a comment about something she's ignores you. If the phone rings - she's joky and chatty to the person on the other end. So all in all, the atmosphere has got quite tense and silent.

Myself and my colleague have discussed it and decided to ignore it as best we can. We know this person is finishing up in a few weeks and maybe it is hormones? We can't for the life of us figure out why she would be ignoring us. We thought she might be ok today (Monday) and it was a phase and she'd feel better over the weekend but she has just been the same today.

How would you deal with this? I thought about asking her straight out but if you need to ask her anything about work or vice versa - she is ok. You get an answer that's not rude but not super friendly either so she's not actually hindering your work, it's just an incredibly tense and unproffesional environment to be in all day.

sachamama

I'm sorry to say it isnt hormones
you have 6 weeks to go and she obviously will have to hand over her position to you, so you will need to be able to talk to her.
Take her out for coffee and say to her as a friend, is there something wrong? that she hasn't been herself lately and you'd like to make things easier at work by helping out if you can... or words to that effect

Mrs OBumble

This woman is your manager, not your friend. She doesn't have to like you, or chat to you. She may, in which case it's a bonus. But it's not required. If she has personal problems, as your manager you are the last person she should be telling about them.

She does have to treat you professionally, and to hand over the role to you.

Provided she is talking to you about work issues, and is doing the hand-over, I just cannot see what the problem.

Jo King

She is quite likely woried that you will take over the role and she will be usurped. She resents you and your co-worker as you will sonn be able to do without her. She is capable of being friendly with other people so it is not depression. She is clearly trying to avoid letting you become friendly as she foresees a power struggle when she comes back. There is not a lot you can do given that there are only six weeks to go. When someone is determined to keep a distance all you can do is wait for a chance for them to relent. It is sometimes a slow process.

Brian Capture

JustMary wrote: »

This woman is your manager, not your friend. She doesn't have to like you, or chat to you. She may, in which case it's a bonus. But it's not required. If she has personal problems, as your manager you are the last person she should be telling about them.

She does have to treat you professionally, and to hand over the role to you.

Provided she is talking to you about work issues, and is doing the hand-over, I just cannot see what the problem.

you sound like you have a heart of stone.

do you work in HR?

doolox

Get on with the job and be busy enough not to care about the presence or absence of chit-chat or social life.
I am glad I am now in a place where all the people are mature enough not to want friendship or idle talk at work.
We all get on with our jobs and there isn't any time for crap.

growler

JustMary wrote: »

This woman is your manager, not your friend. She doesn't have to like you, or chat to you. She may, in which case it's a bonus. But it's not required. If she has personal problems, as your manager you are the last person she should be telling about them.

She does have to treat you professionally, and to hand over the role to you.

Provided she is talking to you about work issues, and is doing the hand-over, I just cannot see what the problem.

until she comes back from maternity

chances are she's uncomfortable with you taking over from her, possibly a bit insecure you'll do a better job, it will be a bit awkward kicking you out again in x months time, and its probably a weird situation for her to find herself in.

unless you harbour deires to take her job , go for a coffee and explain she needn't be stressing out over the situation and the two of you can make the best of it all by being professional without being arses. If you got along socially than shouldn't stop, and its in her best interests to keep you on side...

Glad i don't work for/with JustMary

Bob Z

Brian Capture wrote: »

you sound like you have a heart of stone.

do you work in HR?

Although the language might seem blunt I think that she is right. The OPs superviser shouldnt tell problems to someone she is in charge of.