Men make dates and break them, why?

LegacyUser

My marriage broke up a few years ago and I have been busy sorting out my life, and taking care of the family. Now its time I met someone new and am open to going into a new relationship if I meet the right person. The dating game baffles me. Why oh why do men ask women out, seem really keen and then on the very day that you are looking forward to a date that night, you get a call or a text with some feeble excuse that they cant make it? why make a date if you don't want to keep it? This is a pattern so there is something going on in mens heads, do they get cold feet or what?
And before anyone says its just me, its not , this has happened to some of my friends as well.
So, men , explain please!

Liam Byrne

The dating game baffles everyone, and there are lots of people like you describe - both men AND women.

It also, of course, depends on how much you're "looking forward" to it; while some excitement and anticipation, etc, is understandable (and is part of the fun), you shouldn't really put all of your happiness on the line with a stranger.

Yes, it's disappointing if they do that, but wouldn't you prefer that they broke that one and let you know they do that on the FIRST date, rather than on the fourth or fifth ?

So count yourself lucky if they do that......but bear in mind that they could have a genuine reason, or - without being rude - if it's becoming a pattern that you've noticed with more than one potential date, maybe there's a chance that you're "scaring them off" somehow ?

VaioCruiser

Unregistered wrote: »

My marriage broke up a few years ago and I have been busy sorting out my life, and taking care of the family. Now its time I met someone new and am open to going into a new relationship if I meet the right person. The dating game baffles me. Why oh why do men ask women out, seem really keen and then on the very day that you are looking forward to a date that night, you get a call or a text with some feeble excuse that they cant make it? why make a date if you don't want to keep it? This is a pattern so there is something going on in mens heads, do they get cold feet or what?
And before anyone says its just me, its not , this has happened to some of my friends as well.
So, men , explain please!

Men ?? you must be kidding - Women are as bad or worse! I remember spending many an evening sitting round pubs waiting for ghosts that never turned up. And my friends too.

MadgeBadge

Whoa, you actually got to the arranging a date stage? You're a whole step ahead of me. I'm still in the whole 'getting someone to use my number which they specifically asked for' stage.

So that's what's ahead of me. Great. :rolleyes:

Miss Fluff

If there is a pattern emerging here you are incredibly unlucky (or lucky that it's before you've even met them) or are you perhaps doing something to put them off?

C0ward

Not all men are like that, shockingly.

You and your friends just have bad taste in men.

Nitxteha

It's not that easy to find a partner. Don't take it very personally if someone cancells a date. Some people are shy, others are insecure, some people get cold feet because they may just not be in the mood that day..And some won't be enough attracted to you, too..

Don't let that depress you of make assumptions on ALL men. Not all men are the same, as some people say - thaks God! .

Enjoy your "boyfriend search" and don't get too impatient. Everything happens with time.

star.chaser

the reason men do this is to confuse women

VaioCruiser

Unregistered wrote: »

My marriage broke up a few years ago and I have been busy sorting out my life, and taking care of the family. Now its time I met someone new and am open to going into a new relationship if I meet the right person. The dating game baffles me. Why oh why do men ask women out, seem really keen and then on the very day that you are looking forward to a date that night, you get a call or a text with some feeble excuse that they cant make it? why make a date if you don't want to keep it? This is a pattern so there is something going on in mens heads, do they get cold feet or what?
And before anyone says its just me, its not , this has happened to some of my friends as well.
So, men , explain please!

Just had a thought ... these dates that were arranged .. did you ask them out first .. or did they ask you out first ?

LegacyUser

No, I didn't arrange the dates! I was actually chatted up and asked out! And I don't know what I could have done wrong when I didn't contact them after, they contacted me on the day of the date to make some feeble excuse why they couldn't make it. They couldn't have known how much I was looking forward to it....just had a thought....maybe that had something to do with it? Na

Red Tempest

Nah chick I'm with you on this one, make and break dates are a complete enigma to me. Men just cut contact with me, no explanation, before the date arranged or after a couple. I'm not pushy at all, I'm not overly tactile, I don't rave about my personal life, we just chat, easy going, then....nothing.

I wouldn't care if guys weren't interested in me. But THEY ask me out. "You're so gorgeous. You're so funny. We have sooo much in common, blah blah". They build up your confidence and then pull it out from under your feet. I've actually stopped dating. I'm not generalising, I know some great guys and I respect them, but most are only in it for the chase as far as I can see. I think thats what leaves most us women thinking what the **ck just happened. I don't think it has anything to do with you or any of the rest of us. I think its a matter of the male ego.

LegacyUser

Red Tempest wrote: »

I'm not overly tactile

This could be a lot of your problem this makes guys assume you're absolutely not interested to be honest.