Adoption Laws

suziewon

Hi,
Don't know if i'm looking in the right place, but what i need is a recommendation of a solicitor who deals
with adoption law specifics.

My story is, My mother has just found the strength now to look for her son (my full brother) Paul Joseph Ross born on christmas Day 1975, she was 17 years old. unmarried.
with the family, church pressure etc, she was advised to give him up for adoption, this was going to be the case but she wouldn't give her formal consent. The mother and baby home in Dunboyne(where she stayed for her pregnancy) would not let her come back with the baby, and either would her family, she ran away to london and the baby was in the care of saint patrick's guild(who we now know but him in temple hill for 4 months,) after 5 months in london, her parents said if she came home from london they would let her bring the baby to their house. She rang Saint Patrick's Guild, to get the baby back, wherein they informed her that the baby had died of cot death while in the care of prospective adoptive parents(prospective adopted parents had never been agreed). He would have been 6 months old. She took this information as the the truth, and being 17 and no family support , she didn't ask for burial details etc..(not that they would have been forthcoming). She stayed with same partner and had 4 more children.

Now, 35 years later, and the revelations of industrial school abuse and deceit by religious institutions she has found the emotional strength to find out if in fact the baby did die(after 35 years of depression and unresolved issues) which effected everybody in the family. She told us, her 4 other children the full details about 2 months ago( never full details over all those years, it was too hard to talk about). She asked for our help, and we will give it 100%.

We started doing our own research before we got a meeting with the sister in Saint patrick's Guild. The Adoption Board have been no help whatsoever.

The meeting with SPG was a joke, she was a pro at manipulation of the facts, she said he had died and the prospective parents could bury him with whatever name they wanted because of "Usage" even though they had him for 6 to 8 weeks, he was his real name for 4 months!. She would not give us the name he was buried under , who he was boarded out to etc.. she quoted adoption law privacy constantly, even though the child was never legally adopted, no papers signed whatsoever, no notification of death was ever sent to her.

Our Determination to find the truth is formidable, any spare time we have is now spent in the General Research Office getting every baby's death certificate for that year. I'm angry at them for resorting me to this, it's very upsetting to look at young children's deaths constantly especially when you have children of your own, which we do, and i feel like i'm invading their privacy and dignity.

Her words on leaving were, (The name in her folder she didn't show us).
"Pray to Paul Joseph and ask him".


Suzanne Ross.

kathy finn

hi suzanne,
i have heard of stories like this before, it was,nt that uncommon.
i don,t know much about the legal side of adoption, but i am sickened that after all these years your poor mother is being treated so badly.
don,t let them away with it, go to the media if u have to, don,t let them fob u off get on to the adoption board again if your brother was adopted they will hold the record of that tell them if their is no help fortcoming you will be seeking legal advice.....kathy

Merrilady

Hi Suzanne,

I have no expertise in these matters, I am in the ( lenthy ) process of adopting and I just wanted to show you some support for your very difficult process.
My thoughts are with you and your family

martinf

Hi Suzanne,

Reading your mothers story makes me very angry. In the first instance your brother was not adopted so I can't see how any confidentiality would come into question. Just from reading your posting I would consider that your mother is still the legal mother of Paul. If you cant't find a solicitor who'll deal with it I think the media might be interested. I wonder if you told them that you had gotten the details of every child who died around 6 months after your brothers birth and were going to write to all parents asking if they had your brother would that make them take notice. I'm actually so annoyed at the moment that I can't write anymore. I'll post again later when sanity (mine at least) returns.

Best of luck in your search.

Martin

DeeColl

Thats a shocking story and unfortuantly there are thousands like it. I really hope you find out the truth.

suziewon

Thanks to all posters for your support,
I think after today, i actually came up with the name, with days searching
in the gro, i went through every baby death for that year and got death certificates, by processes of elimination, i think i finally have name and location. Someone sent me name of a recommended solicitor, so i will be getting in touch with them to see what the next step is. Mam has been on to guy in adoption board again, he basically laughed at her, said she would never find out the name because it's not on adoptive register(he didn't know we had date of death). These people make me so angry.

shezzie

my heart is with you and your family - i am no legal eagal - i am an adoptee searching for my birth parents - i wish you all the luck in the world for closure which is basically what we are all looking for - all our questions answered - they may have said not legally adopted but what bout the adopted person register in the gro -

may god help you on this search and make is so much easier for you - this computer and internet has helped me i know who my birth mother side are i have phone number but respect is needed that a dollip of my patience which i am not renowned for but this is teaching me to be

anyways best of luck....


shezzie

loadngo

You have my upmost respect for understanding why your Mam made the chioce she did PACT are a terrific Group that help with tracing i am sure they could offer fantastic advice and point you in the right direction i hope you get the answers you want and deserve don't give up no matter how flustrated you get x