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Always wanting what I can't have

  • 19-06-2009 1:44am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Does anyone find themselves always wanting what they can't hve? I do, in all walks of life especially relationships. For instance my last serious girlfriend and I broke up last year. I felt we just were not connecting anymore and I was the one who ended things. Didn't see her for ages then when i did she seemed like she had completely changed her personality and actually was not that nice a person anymore. However I found myself even more attracted to her than I was when we were together and the idea of her being with other guys was eating me up inside.
    However we started seeing each other again for a few weeks but it never developed into anything serious and for months there was no contact. Not by my choice btw and I couldn't get her out of my head. Over the last few weeks we have hooked up again a few times and I decide to ask her to have a chat about whats going on with us and why we are always drawn back together. She says no and doesnt think its a good idea for us to see each other again. Since hearing this I hvae been pretty upset and can't get her out of my head, even though I know she is not as nice a person as she was when we were first together(for a number of reason I wont bore ye with).

    Anyway the whole point of this thread is does anyone else feel they always want what they can't have and does anyone have any tips how do deal with this?

    This is not the first time something like this either in relationships or my career this has happened and I have just noticed this pattern in my life and want ta do something about it.


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I think it's human nature to want what you cant have.

    I do it all the time. Something or someone I'm not interested in suddenly becomes the most important thing/person in the world to me once I know that they are no longer attainable. I know the pattern so well but I can never break out of it. Cant give you any ideas on what to do about it but just to let you know that there are other people like you!


  • #3
    SarahSassy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,145 ✭✭✭SarahSassy


    Well it may be human nature but its not human nature for everyone. Generally people learn to control their wants as they mature (generally) and if you think about it, this behaviour of wanting what you cant have is hurting someone namely you. You will never let yourself be happy with what you have. Why is this?


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Its since she turned into not as nice a person that I have really fallen for her. If I look back over women I have fallen for over the past 5 years, I can safely say that most of them were b*itches and could this be some self esteem issue why I am attracted to them in the first place? I'm not that lonely I have a lot of close friends and play on a few sports teams but I could really do with some female companionship.


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