Girlfriend taking drugs

LegacyUser

Going unreg for this one. I'm with a girl who I love to bits but there is one thing that bugs me about her and that's her drug taking. She smokes weed a lot, well that's just my opinion, a lot to me is every day. I know she has done other more "hard" drugs in the past but has told me she doesn't do them anymore.

Is it wrong for her smoking weed a lot to annoy me? Or should I tell her how I feel?

Chucky the tree

Does her beheaviour change alot when she smokes it? How long have you's been going out? Considering you love her to bits I presume it's awhile so why is it only now it's bothering you or bothering you enough to post about it? I don't anyone can say if it's right or wrong for it to annoy you, that's your opinion and it can't be changed but don't expect her to give it up just because it annoys you. If she had a few glassess of wine every evening would that annoy you? or it just a drug thing you have issues with?

Trinity

was she smoking when you got with her first? Or is a new thing

If she was doing it from day one well you knew about it, i wouldnt allow a man into my life and tell me what to do

I'm not interested in the rights or wrongs, i dont smoke myself but family members smoke everyday

so unless you are gonna come at it from a health point of view i am really not too sure you have an arguement here

LegacyUser

Lots and lots of competent people smoke weed. Ok, so its not a healthy habit but its not in the same league as a coke habit for example. The worst of it is the smoking part. I wouldn't be too worried though.

Xiney

I had a flatmate who smoked weed constantly.

He was incredibly lazy and had almost no motivation. The smell bothered me as well.



So no, I don't think it's wrong for her habit to annoy you, because it can be an annoying habit when it's an "always" thing.

annon123

To be honest I know exactly where you are coming from. I was with a guy and he smoked an awful lot of weed. In the end it really got to me and i told him i didnt want to see him smoke it around me. Like some of the other posters, my friends were like, there's no big deal, its not a hard drug etc etc, but if it bothers you then it is a problem.

I would love to give you some advice on what to do about it but unfort its a decision you are going to have to make.
if you want to settle with this girl, will you be able to put up with a lot, the odd amount or literally no weed smoking. This is something you have to be honest with yourself about.
I let myself listen to my friends for a long time but at the end of the day it is you that is going to have to live with your decision and if you cant abide the smoking then either she gives it up or you will have to give up on the relationship. something will have to give....:(

Good Luck and remember to do what your heart tells you..not what people tell you you should be doing.

JC 2K3

You're not giving enough information here, you haven't said anything about why it annoys you.

If it annoys you because "drugs are bad, mmmkay?", then no, you don't have a right to be annoyed.

If her behaviour differs when she's on it to the extent that you don't enjoy her company and it's thus being detrimental to the relationship, then you have a bit of a right to be annoyed, and she should respect you asking her not to do it around you.

If for some reason you feel the fact that she smokes in the first place is detrimental to her life in general, then you don't really have a right to be annoyed, but rather should be concerned and should talk to her about it.

electrogrimey

JC 2K3 wrote: »

You're not giving enough information here, you haven't said anything about why it annoys you.

If it annoys you because "drugs are bad, mmmkay?", then no, you don't have a right to be annoyed.

If her behaviour differs when she's on it to the extent that you don't enjoy her company and it's thus being detrimental to the relationship, then you have a bit of a right to be annoyed, and she should respect you asking her not to do it around you.

If for some reason you feel the fact that she smokes in the first place is detrimental to her life in general, then you don't really have a right to be annoyed, but rather should be concerned and should talk to her about it.

Great advice here, and you should remember that this will most likely be a phase, fair enough she might keep smoking for years, but I doubt she'll keep smoking daily for very long, especially if you're encouraging her to stop.

Nevyn

IF she is using it to self medicate then it's an issue.
If she is using it to avoid dealing wiht things in her life difficult emotions or painful trains of thought
or as anger management then it's an issue as much as getting drunk every night.

rantyface

As long as she doesn't mix it with tobacco it's not going to seriously harm her. Nicotine is really, really bad for you.

electrogrimey

I don't think nicotine is the biggest problem here...about one cigarette's worth of tobacco a night is hardly a reason to seek advice about a partner...I think the most important thing is to find out why she's smoking so much. If it's just because she likes smoking, then it's fine. If it's a way of dealing with things, then it needs to be "dealt with".

LegacyUser

OP if you came on and said your girlfriend drank we would be asking how often? an does it it effect her personality? and if you if said every day and that she turned agressive or something then we wpould tell you she has a problem otherwise she is fine

jellie

Silly? wrote: »

Is it wrong for her smoking weed a lot to annoy me?

If it annoys you then it annoys you, theres no right or wrong as to what you should be annoyed by.

Silly? wrote: »

Or should I tell her how I feel?

It depends how much it bothers you & how serious you are about her.

If its a case of youd just prefer that she didnt but its not going to change anything then theres no point bringing it up.
If you really dont like it & its a make or break thing then speak to her & tell her how you feel. Im not saying ask her to stop, but just let her know how you feel about it & see where the conversation goes.

LegacyUser

As some have mentioned, do you notice a change in her behaviour? is it somethign she has to rely on and is she losing motivation? Most importantly of all is she one of those stoners who think she has the answer to all lifes problems and starts spouting woo?