A virgin

LegacyUser

i am a 28 yr old male virgin. This is so for religious and moral reasons. i am looking to find a woman who is of the same mind. my friends tell me this is impossible and that most people have lost their virginity by 20. Is this so?. are there any celibate people out there?

LegacyUser

Of course it's not impossible, granted it's going to be more difficult but don't let that deter you. I've met a number of people with a similar mindset to yourself and while it wouldn't be my belief I would respect that it is theirs. You're just going to have to take a different approach to meeting women - are you a member of any clubs/associations related to your religious group?

Otis Driftwood

As the previous poster said,its certainly not impossible,you just have to look a little harder.

And fair play to you for sticking to your beliefs too.

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

Of course it's not impossible, granted it's going to be more difficult but don't let that deter you. I've met a number of people with a similar mindset to yourself and while it wouldn't be my belief I would respect that it is theirs. You're just going to have to take a different approach to meeting women - are you a member of any clubs/associations related to your religious group?

i am irish and catholic. i have yet to meet a woman who is a virgin.

myk

glentuna wrote: »

i am a 28 yr old male virgin. This is so for religious and moral reasons. i am looking to find a woman who is of the same mind. my friends tell me this is impossible and that most people have lost their virginity by 20. Is this so?. are there any celibate people out there?

Given that you said it was for religious reasons I'd suggest church/religious communities which have lots of people in their 20s and 30s.

And your friends are wrong, it is not impossible.

waraf

glentuna wrote: »

are there any celibate people out there?

VERY few (by choice anyway ). Seriously though, I agree with your friends. I don't think I've ever met someone who has waited to lose their virginity past the age of about 22 but then again I'm a non-believer so I don't hang out with religious people generally (not that I've anything against them). Good luck with your search though....

getonyourboots

why are you looking to find a woman if you wise to remain celibate???

LegacyUser

getonyourboots wrote: »

why are you looking to find a woman if you wise to remain celibate???

to marry her and so we can be special with eachother

tman

getonyourboots wrote: »

why are you looking to find a woman if you wise to remain celibate???

Celibacy doesn't have to rule out all of the other things that being in a relationship with a woman can bring... (I'm assuming that the OP is referring more to chastity than remaining unmarried)

shellyboo

getonyourboots wrote: »

why are you looking to find a woman if you wise to remain celibate???

Because for a lot of people, there's more to a relationship than just sex? Chaste relationships are perfectly valid and plenty of people all over the world save themselves for their marriage partner.

It's not the way I'd choose to do things, but there's certainly nothing wrong with having a sexless relationship as long as both parties are ok with that. You can be intimate and romantic without sex.

OP, perhaps get involved with church groups as someone mentioned above... I'd imagine there's a higher concentration of chaste people involved in them than in the general population. There are chaste people out there, but they are in the minority - unfortunately for you, your search is going to be more difficult than for a non-chaste person.

getonyourboots

Having a sexless relationship with your future wife is unhealthy and frankly ridiculous. Tell me OP what exactly is permitted 'physically' by your religion?

myk

getonyourboots wrote: »

Having a sexless relationship with your future wife is unhealthy and frankly ridiculous.

why? most people of your parents generation waited till after they were married in order to have sex, and this is still the case in a lot of countries in the world today.

LegacyUser

getonyourboots wrote: »

Having a sexless relationship with your future wife is unhealthy and frankly ridiculous. Tell me OP what exactly is permitted 'physically' by your religion?

i am catholic. so sex is not permitted before marriage. but it is not just a religious thing

getonyourboots

Physical attraction is what brings two people together and to deny these impulses just seems bizarre.
Im interested to know what is permitted, for example doing 69 is fine but penetrative sex will see you burn in hell, its just silly really.

myk

getonyourboots wrote: »

Physical attraction is what brings two people together and to deny these impulses just seems bizarre.

people deny their physical impulses every day, or do you simply sleep with everyone that you find attractive?

LegacyUser

Getonyourboots I'm sure the OP isn't looking to have to justify himself for his life choices, nor should he have to explain himself to us. OP I think the church social group idea is a great one, you're likely to meet plenty of like-minded women there. Personally I know a good few women who are still virgins in their late 20s and 30s for various reasons. These people do exist! Good luck!

getonyourboots

Good luck OP finding someone and you should always go with your gut and whatever makes you happy in the choices you make.
But I will leave you with this final thought: The Universe is vast, ever evolving and more complex than we can ever imagine. Do you really think the creator of all this cares what you do with your micky.

biko

Try Christian dating websites like www.ChristianConnection.ie

Otis Driftwood

getonyourboots wrote: »

Do you really think the creator of all this cares what you do with your micky.

Thats actually a little offensive.

No sex before marriage can be a life long thing for people and the above comment comes across as been derogatry.

Would you say to a Jewish person do you fancy a pork chop?

Same bloody difference.

Nevyn

getonyourboots banned for a week.

NTLsucks

You do realise OP you are limiting you choice of potential wives to about 1% of the female population of ireland? And it's not like we're talking about 1% of the French or Italian female populations, 1% of the Irish female populatin is 1% of a very bad lot to start with. So chances are at 38 you will eventually end up getting married to some minger whose been left on the shelf while all the women you were actually attracted to but ruled out cos they weren't as moral (hung up about sex) as you, are off with other guys?

I wish you luck with it, but real life isn't like a Hollywood movie and I fear you will not be getting a happy ending in your quest to find an anyway half decent looking female over the age of 21 who will agree to a sexless relationship for a few years before getting married.

Otis Driftwood

NTLsucks wrote: »

You do realise OP you are limiting you choice of potential wives to about 1% of the female population of ireland? And it's not like we're talking about 1% of the French or Italian female populations, 1% of the Irish female populatin is 1% of a very bad lot to start with. So chances are at 38 you will eventually end up getting married to some minger whose been left on the shelf while all the women you were actually attracted to but ruled out cos they weren't as moral (hung up about sex) as you, are off with other guys?

I wish you luck with it, but real life isn't like a Hollywood movie and I fear you will not be getting a happy ending in your quest to find an anyway half decent looking female over the age of 21 who will agree to a sexless relationship for a few years before getting married.

So there are only approx 23,000 female virgins in Ireland then,out of approx 2.3 million?:rolleyes:

Its nothing to do with being hung up on sex.Its a life choice,same as smoking,or not drinking,or not eating meat.

Your logic is flawed in the extreme.

Xiney

The suggestion of meeting people through Christian dating websites or your church is probably your best bet, OP.

People are not lying when they are saying it will be difficult to find someone who shares your commitment to celibacy before marriage, but it is by no means impossible.



Everyone else, please keep your replies to this thread constructive, the OP did not come here in order to have his religious views lambasted. Last on thread warning, future posts along these lines will earn yourself a ban.

LegacyUser

I didn't lose my virginity until I was 25, I just wasn't ready to lose it at a younger age. Each woman is different so I'm sure you'll meet the one for you soon enough.

myk

Xiney wrote: »

People are not lying when they are saying it will be difficult to find someone who shares your commitment to celibacy before marriage, but it is by no means impossible.

For the OP, I know about half a dozen girls who would have a similar approach as yourself, and most of them worry about not being able to find a guy who shares their views!

petethebrick

myk wrote: »

For the OP, I know about half a dozen girls who would have a similar approach as yourself, and most of them worry about not being able to find a guy who shares their views!

Well you probably know more girls like that than the rest of us on boards combined I reckon!

OP - The other posters are correct - there are very few girls these days who wait until they are married to have sex - and half the ones who claim to be are probably lying.

No, it's not impossible that you'll meet someone who shares your views it's just highly unlikely that you'll meet and fall in love with a woman in everyday life who shares your views. You say that you are saving yourself for marriage but is it essential that the girl you marries has done the same? Maybe if you were flexible on that aspect of it you might have more luck. Good luck anyhow!

By the way - I myself wouldn't even consider marrying someone I hadn't had sex with - For me sex is an integral part of developing a relationship with a girl.

annon123

OP,
would you consider marrying a girl that was not a virgin but that made a decision to respect your choice and remain celibate until you both got married? Or would you only consider virgins?
I like the other posters agree that it may be a little difficult to find a female virgin over the age of 25....not impossible but a lot more difficult....

LegacyUser

Hi, my neighbours share the same beliefs as you and were all virgins till they married. I would suggest the Legion of Mary, also they are in a society called Pure in Heart promoting celibacy? There are quite a few girls in their 20's involved so you may have look. Also there are more virgins around than people think, my sister is in her 30's and is very private about it as she feels she will be made fun of.
I hope that helps.

LegacyUser

thanks folks. i do think women should be pure. it is easy to have sex but shows fortitude not to

LegacyUser

Hi Op
Im in the same boat as you. Im female though younger than you at 23. I will stick to my belief for religious and moral reasons too. dont be disheartened I have friends who want to wait too and others who dont. I wouldnt let what other people think put you off. I say Im in a worse position than you as imo its easier to find women than men willing to wait.

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

Hi Op
Im in the same boat as you. Im female though younger than you at 23. I will stick to my belief for religious and moral reasons too. dont be disheartened I have friends who want to wait too and others who dont. I wouldnt let what other people think put you off. I say Im in a worse position than you as imo its easier to find women than men willing to wait.

where do you try to meet people. i dont really want to do it thru a church. its more a moral thing than a religious thing with me

galwaybob

What’s morally wrong with two consenting adults giving each other pleasure?

LegacyUser

galwaybob wrote: »

What’s morally wrong with two consenting adults giving each other pleasure?

people are having sex with people they barely know. pleasure should be with people you know and respect. we should not behave like dogs in a field

turgon

The OP didnt really ask for any comments on his chastity.

Why dont you join religious groups and see there? Given that chastity is a religious thing it would strike me as an apt place to start.

I assume btw, that you want it that your wife also be chaste. If she isnt is this a problem? Because there are more to women to sexual predispositions. If you were willing to sacrifice your want of chastity on her part you might in fact end up with a more suitable wife.

who what when

glentuna wrote: »

i am catholic. so sex is not permitted before marriage. but it is not just a religious thing

The catholic church is a funny organisation. <Snip> they get all high and mighty on a consenting adult couple. Madness. Each to their own though i suppose

The Recliner

This thread isn't about the Catholic church, if you want to discuss the merits of religous beliefs there are other fora for that

Please stick to things that will help the OP

galwaybob

glentuna wrote: »

people are having sex with people they barely know. pleasure should be with people you know and respect. we should not behave like dogs in a field

As long as they are not actually having sex with dogs in a field, I don't see the problem.

LegacyUser

glentuna wrote: »

where do you try to meet people. i dont really want to do it thru a church. its more a moral thing than a religious thing with me

I have tried those christian dating sites recently. So far I havent actually met anybody I click with. Other than that I don't know. Its realy hard as anyone I have met out or anywhere else dont share the same belief. You might get lucky just meeting someone though the chances of this imo are slim. A church thing is probably your best bet though I havent done this either or try dating sites. If you dont want to do either of these than all you can do is just hope it happens naturally.

Xiney

glentuna/OP, please note that boards.ie is NOT a dating website and I will delete all solicitous posts.

dblennon

I would look up the pure of heart they are based on religon obviously but they are very open.

They are mainly pro life & and chastity before marriage.

I went on a date with a lovely girl who told me all about them she was a youth leader and was great, I met her and her friends in a bar in the city.

Completely not for me, but the personalities seemed fine apart from the obvious.

philologos

glentuna wrote: »

i am a 28 yr old male virgin. This is so for religious and moral reasons. i am looking to find a woman who is of the same mind. my friends tell me this is impossible and that most people have lost their virginity by 20. Is this so?. are there any celibate people out there?

OP, keep heart. You will find it more difficult than others to find a partner who will share your religious values but it is possible. I would recommend getting to know people more via your religious community, and if you do not find more people your age around perhaps trying a different church where the demographic is more youthful might be useful.

Another option which a lot of people cringe a bit at but is an option is you could try dating sites to see if there are other people in your own situation who are looking for the same.

Keep hopeful, don't give up

Hels88

I only lost my virginity when I was 21, not as I'm particularly religious but do attend church weekly. I wasn't ready til then even though I've had 4 or 5 boyfriends. I know plenty of people who are also virgins and are my age, so they're out there. Maybe try church groups or volunteering with a religious charity group. However don't rule out pubs and nightclubs etc, not everyone there will be of different moral views to you.

Best of luck!

KadMunky

getonyourboots wrote: »

Good luck OP finding someone and you should always go with your gut and whatever makes you happy in the choices you make.
But I will leave you with this final thought: The Universe is vast, ever evolving and more complex than we can ever imagine. Do you really think the creator of all this cares what you do with your micky.

Hi all. Read the above passage again. He wasn't being derogatory, he just expressed an opinion but it came out in a crude manner. He does accepts the OPs beliefs but he just made a comment about it. If he didn't say "Do you really think the creator of all this cares what you do with your micky." but instead said "Do you really believe that God condemns you as a sinner because you choose to have premarital sex WHEN you look at the bigger picture?" I may be wrong and I accept that. I just think it is a bit harsh to ban getyourbootson for expressing an opinion. It seems to me that boards has been very strict in policing comments lately. This is not healthy.
Oh and OP yes there are virgin women out there who also share your beliefs. I now because I have met them and discussed their beliefs with them. The Irish culture just makes it appear that there is no such thing as a virgin. This is prob true to a point but is also resulting from peer pressure. In Greece (particularly) on the islands some of the native women do not believe in sex before marraige but they do engage in intimate acts. ITs all about perception. But best of luck with finding the ONE

Agent Smith

myk wrote: »

people deny their physical impulses every day, or do you simply sleep with everyone that you find attractive?

its something most men have dedicated their life to...:pac:

getonyourboots

getonyourboots wrote: »

Physical attraction is what brings two people together and to deny these impulses just seems bizarre.
Im interested to know what is permitted, for example doing 69 is fine but penetrative sex will see you burn in hell, its just silly really.

Not so...anything that diliberately gets one or both parties aroused shouldn't be practiced outside marriage, according to RC Church teaching.

Zaph

nahbios, I don't know why you saw fit to drag up a 5 month old thread, but please don't do it again in the future.

Thread closed.