I can't get him out of my head need advice, please help, Thanks!

LegacyUser

Hi everyone,

Ok, I went out with a guy a while ago on a date. I was extremely nervous, and had a few drinks during the date. I was "merry" by the end of it but not drunk. Anyways, because I was extremely nervous out with him, (I felt like he was out of my league, even though we both went to the same university), I was completely not myself, and talked crap for alot of the evening, and I am soooooooooo annoyed at myself because he didn't get to see the real me at all, and I am a really nice person, who wouldn't talk crap all the time, and who really cares about people, especially anyone I might get involved with.

Anyways, he said that me and him wouldn't lead to anything, and I know it was all because I talked crap because I was so nervous and not myself. He was extremely nice to me the night we did go out, and I can't get him out of my head since.

I would love to text him, and ask him how he is etc, and see maybe in some sort of "Non desperate" words if I could see him again.

Am I completely silly, I don't know what to do, and I can't get him out of my head because I still really like him, and I really wish I could get a second chance with him so he could see what type of a person I really am like.

Any advice would help me I do appreciate it, thanks

PK2008

Sounds like you missed your shot first time round, best to play it cool now and see if he comes back after you. If not, chalk it up to experience

LegacyUser

Yep, I definately missed my shot with him the first time around, and I am sooooo annoyed with myself, I came out with things I shouldn't have, and it was was because I was sooo nervous, and liked him so much.

Well, I haven't heard from him within the past few weeks, I really wish I could do something to get in contact with him, and be myself, and possibly think of something to say in a way that I could see him again....this really is a horrible situation.., and I feel like I don't want to leave it because he was a really descent nice guy

Captain-America

Level with him.

If he's the nice guy you say he is, just tell him how nervous you werer and how you weren't feeling yourself that night. It can go either way, he may think you're desperate, or he may think you're genuine.

Either way you you'll regret it less than leaving it go.

irish_goat

Get in touch with him again and explain that you were really nervous, you could make up some reason for it like work/college trouble or something if you'd prefer not to say it's cause you like him. But of course there's no point in going for a second date if you can't sort your nerves out.

PK2008

As bad as this might sound, if I went on a date with a girl and didnt get in contact with her after it, it would be for a reason and that reason would be that I didnt want to see her again.

You can contact him like others will tell you- nothing ventured nothing gained and all that and they're probably right.......but....I dont know....sounds kind of desperate if you ask me. Maybe engineer a situation where you come in contact with him again, on neutral ground- a friends party or something and try to gauge it from there.

If not I would recommend letting it go

LegacyUser

Thank you so much for your replies, I really do appreciate it.

Ok, about a week and a half later after i had gone out with him, I text hom just to see how he was, and thats when he told me he didn't think it would amount to anything... I said well if he was being honest, i would be honest, and mentioned to him that I was nervous when I met him, he thought that I wasn't, and I said that he may have thought I wasn't nervous but I was. I thanked him for the night out and how kind he was to me, and we agreed to be friends : (

i feel I should tell ye everything so I can get the best possible advice.....Thanks

VaioCruiser

PK2008 wrote: »

As bad as this might sound, if I went on a date with a girl and didnt get in contact with her after it, it would be for a reason and that reason would be that I didnt want to see her again.

You can contact him like others will tell you- nothing ventured nothing gained and all that and they're probably right.......but....I dont know....sounds kind of desperate if you ask me. Maybe engineer a situation where you come in contact with him again, on neutral ground- a friends party or something and try to gauge it from there.

If not I would recommend letting it go

First of all there is nothing wrong with going after someone you want. Doesn't matter what anyone says about it. In my opinion the best tactic is openness and honestly. Call him and come right out with what you said in this post. Tell him you were nervous and not yourself and ask him to come out with you again. Make is light hearted and pleasant, not heavy and serious.
Life is short. Nothing ventured , nothing gained. If he still says no, then you move on. But he may say yes

All the best.

LegacyUser

Well, it looks like I'm in a man's situation of aproaching someone I really like, I don't know how ye lads do it... approaching ladies, it definately takes guts!!

What should I do or say without sounding desperate or silly, or letting myself down? Its just I already told him I was nervous when I met him, and I don't want to make an a*s of myself.... I really wouldn't know what to say to him, lads advice would be good on what to say, cheers!

Mixedup

i'd leave it now to be honest, you've told him you were nervous etc and he didnt seem interested. I dont think you should contact him again, you might run into him somewhere, and you don't want to be embarrassed.
Better to chalk it down to experience imo

Miss Fluff

Isn't this your second or third thread on this issue now? I think the advice at the time was to leave it as he has made it clear now he is not interested. Try and go on other dates with other people, you are only obsessing about him because you are not going on other dates so get yourself back on the horse girl and in future try not to get too tipsy.

LegacyUser

You really have to leave it now, he is not interested.. he has already told you. If you want to get in touch 'as friends' it will just prolong the agony as you will hold out false hope.
sorry to be harsh but am speaking from experience.

Sarah W

Miss Fluff wrote: »

Isn't this your second or third thread on this issue now? I think the advice at the time was to leave it as he has made it clear now he is not interested. Try and go on other dates with other people, you are only obsessing about him because you are not going on other dates so get yourself back on the horse girl and in future try not to get too tipsy.

+ 1. You seem to become slightly fixated on this guy, or more to the point, this one date. Get back into dating as much as possible and put less emphasis on being in a relationship and more on enjoying yourself.