Break up over a fantasy?

candy-gal1

hey there to any late night netters!!
i have a problem thats confusing me and upsetting me muchly!!!!
if a girl says to a guy-her boyf, when talking about fantasies etc, that she sometimes fantasises about her and her oh and another girl?! only once or twice and afler he said he would maybe like a threesome or sometjhing or it was onh his mind as a fantasy? is this a breakupable offence?!

x

DarkJager

You said to your boyfriend that you'd like a threesome, he said he'd like it and now you think its something to break up over? Or am I readin your post wrong?

candy-gal1

no no! he mentioned a while before, ages back, about a threesome! i said tonight in a conversation about fantasies that i sometimes did fantasise about him, me and another woman sincev he told me that! and now it seems like i said something wrong! was only teliing the truth and was ojnly since he said that to me and brought it up!

Overheal

Depends on your other half. Some people are hardcore monogomists* and other people arent, and would be very interested in the threesome thing.

*not to be mistaken with misogyny.

What has happened that gives you the indication that it might be a problem? has he been distant or something

challengemaster

DarkJager wrote: »

You said to your boyfriend that you'd like a threesome, he said he'd like it and now you think its something to break up over? Or am I readin your post wrong?

Nope, you read it right, far as i can see anyway...

DarkJager

I don't think its something to get too worried over to be honest OP. Its just human sexual nature to have fantasies, there's nothing wrong with it at all.

candy-gal1

Overheal wrote: »

Depends on your other half. Some people are hardcore monogomists* and other people arent, and would be very interested in the threesome thing.

*not to be mistaken with misogyny.

yes i know this, and i am a hardcore monogomist! and he is the love of my life! i was only telling the truth about fantasies! and they were only after and around the time he mentioned it to me!
i dont know what to do! or say!
any help would be greatly appreciated!
i cant help but tell the truth about anything! and to be my best for everyon e! especially the one i love! thats the reason i started thinking about that in the 1st place!!!!

DarkJager

candy-gal1 wrote: »

yes i know this, and i am a hardcore monogomist! and he is the love of my life! i was only telling the truth about fantasies! and they were only after and around the time he mentioned it to me!
i dont know what to do! or say!
any help would be greatly appreciated!
i cant help but tell the truth about anything! and to be my best for everyon e! especially the one i love! thats the reason i started thinking about that in the 1st place!!!!

The fact you are thinking about it means that there is some interest in you for it. There's nothing to be ashamed of about admitting it to each other OP, its something you should discuss open;y with your partner. The best relationships are often the ones where both people involved are completely open and honest with each other.

candy-gal1

DarkJager wrote: »

The fact you are thinking about it means that there is some interest in you for it. There's nothing to be ashamed of about admitting it to each other OP, its something you should discuss open;y with your partner. The best relationships are often the ones where both people involved are completely open and honest with each other.

i know but the point is i never wanted that at all!!!! i was only thinking of it because my oh said about it before! thats all!! i just wanted to make him happy! now he doesnt believe me and i dont know where i stand!
you see in my mentality, fantasies are one time things in your head and they dont mean u want rgem at all!! cos i dont!

netwhizkid

Fantasies are just that and are best left that way. Having a threesome is not big deal anyway and from experience I think it is a bit distracting and you (the male) feel under alot of pressure to perform and keep both women happy.

candy-gal1

netwhizkid wrote: »

Fantasies are just that and are best left that way. Having a threesome is not big deal anyway and from experience I think it is a bit distracting and you (the male) feel under alot of pressure to perform and keep both women happy.

thank you!!!
thats exactly what im saying!! but my oh doesnt seem to think that! i dont want to do that at all!! its just not for me!! twas just trying to see what it would be like from porn and fantasies since he said he might like it! now i think ive effed everything up from just telling the truth!!

candy-gal1

Overheal wrote: »

Depends on your other half. Some people are hardcore monogomists* and other people arent, and would be very interested in the threesome thing.

*not to be mistaken with misogyny.

What has happened that gives you the indication that it might be a problem? has he been distant or something

nope he hasnt really! but now i think iv effed things up from telling the truth|!!!

jimmycrackcorm

Might be a problem if he says he wants to have a 3some with you and your sister!

Overheal

Only if you dont tell him you dont think you were being entirely honest.

What, you told him when, last night? No harm. Make a confession. Ooh, make a roleplay out of it for duplicity No but seriously just tell him how you feel now that you are sure of how you feel about it.

candy-gal1

Overheal wrote: »

Only if you dont tell him you dont think you were being entirely honest.

What, you told him when, last night? No harm. Make a confession. Ooh, make a roleplay out of it for duplicity No but seriously just tell him how you feel now that you are sure of how you feel about it.

no tonight! came up in a drunken talk of fantasies! heeheee il try! wish it was that easy!!! i did but maybe in the morning it might be better and okay and understandable!
thanks!!!
really hope things are all good again!!!!
hes my love of my life!!!! sorry for sounding sappy!!!! lol but tis true!!!
fingers crossed please!!!

DarkJager

Seriously, don't be worrying about it. Its healthy for couples to talk about such things, and it will be bottom of the list for discussion come the morning!

candy-gal1

DarkJager wrote: »

Seriously, don't be worrying about it. Its healthy for couples to talk about such things, and it will be bottom of the list for discussion come the morning!

lol your right anyway!!!
thanking you!!!

July

Who's the one talking about breaking up? It's totally understandable that you should imagine a threesome after he planted the seed in your head. Don't see what the problem is - you'd think he'd be happy and fantasise 'with' you about this.

Go easy on the exclamation marks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Some people (including me) can be distracted by them!!!!!!!!!!!

Zaph

OP, I've changed your thread title. If you're going to start any more threads in PI, would you mind giving us a hint of what the thread's about rather than a smiley face. Thanks.

shellyboo

I can't make out who's annoyed at who here...

Is your boyfriend annoyed at you for saying you fantasise about threesomes after he mentioned them?

Or are you annoyed at your boyfriend for saying he'd like a threesome after you admitted fantasising about them?

Or is your bf annoyed at you for fantasising about threesomes but not wanting to do them?

Either way, it's a bit of a silly argument. If either or both of you can't grasp the difference between what goes on in your head and what goes on in real life, then you're set for a lot of similar arguments.

It's the most natural thing in the world to fantasise, nobody should be getting annoyed with anybody about that.