Depression - Advice

LegacyUser

Hey,

I'm mid 20's, fem, not long out of my first love longterm.....and I'm not really coping, or maybe i am, maybe this is how bad things are for everyone.

i know i've had issues, particularly around teens, with sadness, nothing too bad, but would cry myself to sleep for no particular reason. part of the reason me and teh ex split was cos of my own insecurities. well, it's been 4mths since we split, tho over a year since teh first (spent a lot of it abroad), and whilst i get by, it's not getting better. any time i'm alone, i burst into tears, i keep myself busy with work/being around ppl, but my friends have been incredible the past year, getting me thru this, and i dont want to keep ragging on about it....

i guess i just need to talk to someone, and im sorry if this is long, but i feel lost wihtout him. i want to get past this, but i keep obsessing about our past, i feel stupid that i lost myself in our relationship, and now (it seems to happen with women more than men), my head is not in a good place. i dont want to tell my parents as my mum has had to support two sisters with depression, and i've seen its affect on their families...i really dont want to have depression, it's debilitating, scary, and i know i should talk with my doc...but was anyone else scared to death of being diagnosed/stigmatised?

also, seeing a counsellor would help, excuse my naivity, but does it change who you are? does the person get in your head? i just feel like my ex has been/still is in my head, and for the past few years, i've always had him, and now i'm confused wihtout him, i dont know how to handle myself, figure myself out

is this just normal breakup stuff or the root of something worse? thanks for reading

LegacyUser

Go to your doc!! I know that's the obvious answer but seriously, it'll be the best thing you ever do. I suffer depression and was really at my wits end. Friends and family help and gave advice and even though I knew it was right, it still took a professional to make me see some light.

I went to a therepist who specialised in CBT (cognitive behaviour therepy). It's not the therepist getting into your mind but kind of retraining you into think more positively. I was very cynical about it but it worked for the problems I was having and on an unexpected offshoot, helped with other things in my life.

But definitely see your doctor. They can give you all the options and help you through it. And although you may not want to tell your mother, I'm 100% sure she'd rather help you than you struggling alone!

The first step is always the hardest but it is worth it in the end, x

LegacyUser

I had some thing similar at one stage, and mentioned it to the doctor when i felt i couldnt not put up with it any longer (went on a long time, years)

Doc put me on a tablet and my whole life has changed, your out look and inability to get past the relationship sounds like depression. Stop the depression and your outlook changes.

Talk to the doc, and you don't have to be stigmatised, because you don't have to tell any one your on medication. And they can start with some thing really light, like i did, and it may work a charm. Just a little boost to get you through the days. for me kicked in more or less straight away, but got better as the months went by.

LegacyUser

i just dont like teh idea of being dependent on meds to get me thru, i dont mean to cause offence, and it's not a comment on u or anyone else, but myself, it feels like a weakness to admit to...i want to make myself better, i dont want to be on meds and not know that i cant get by without them, or that im not really myself, cos ive something to perk me up. am i way off the mark? do they make u feel happy/content, but its all false, just the drugs?

petethebrick

Hey,
I have in a similiar situation as you recently and found that exercise was a big help. I go for a 30 minute run three evenings a week and have been feeling much better since starting that. I've also started a weekly meditation class. Try re-energising yourself with activities like these before heading to your doctor would be my advice. Good luck!

RealistSpy

I agree with petethebrick go out excersice and go out. Get your mind off things because if you don't it will be hard to move on.

LegacyUser

OP, rarely would a doc immediatly put you on meds. Often that will be their last resort (unless your suicidal or something). There could be very simple suggestions they make, exercise, a change of diet. There may be a vitamin you're deficient in like the B vitamins. There are lots of simple suggestions and changes you can do to make things better.

As for meds, I am on some but they're not somethng that gives you a false sense of happy. They are maintaining the balance of serotonin. Quite often depression is caused by an imbalance of serotonin...in the same way a diabetic suffers from an imbalance of insulin. You wouldn't stigmatise a diabetic for not being able to control their insulin.

The meds I am on, I still feel like me but only I am now able to get out of bed in the morning and able to actually face a day without a sense of dread. They are a short term thing as well. Dependant on the person, you can be on them for 6-24 months. But like I said, it's quite often the last suggestion a doctor will make for you so I would highly reccommend you have a chat to your doctor about everything