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Long distance relationship advice please!

  • 12-06-2009 8:15pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi everyone,
    I know there is a recent thread about this subject but here is my story.
    Been in a LDR with an american girl for 3 years now, we are both early 30's, I have visited her a few times(new york) & she has visited me a few times (Dublin).
    We love each other & are planning a future together. All was going great until a few months ago. Since Feburary her attitude has changed big time, we used to have great contact by email,phone & msn. She did tell me she would be more busy because it's her last year in university, fair enough I thought, anyway the contact has dried up to a few emails a week,she tells me she is too busy to chat on msn & over the phone, even her emails are only a few lines & a few token words. She was due to visit me in July but now she has cancelled telling me she wants to spend time at home & she wants to do an extra course for her studies. She told me only last week that shes loves me but she needs time & she is going through a bad moment & for me to be patient with her!
    Then today I noticied she removed all the pics of us together from her facebook page,well she left one pic of us on her page.
    So guys, I'm fearing the worst, has she met another guy? has she just lost intrest in our relationship, do I give her time? or is she just afraid to tell me the truth & that she wants to finish this? feeling hurt & confused right now, 3 years is a long time & we both have put time & effort int this, I love her but my gut instinct is telling me that maybe she does'nt love me anymore, anyone have any advice or been through a similiar situation?
    Sorry for the long post, Thanks for reading guys hope I did'nt bore anyone.


Comments

  • #2
    Overheal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 86,729 ✭✭✭✭Overheal


    your clutching at straws may be driving her away.

    Its likely she really did need the space to focus on other parts of her life but then with the distractions (not to belittle you, but) she starts to phase you out?

    Time to give her space. Any dramatics right now (emo maiils, etc) are going to work entirely against you (actually emo mail always works against you. It never works for anyone). The best thing you can do is give her the space she wants. Because either way, she is going to a)get through her **** and then come back, or she's going to realise b) its not working out and wants to call it off, and by distancing yourself it will soften the blow. I know its not a pretty situation but its really your best option: step back.


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