Question for the ladies

LegacyUser

Hi,

I have been on a dates with different girls over the past while. I usually ask them out, do something fun on the first date and never leave it past the second date to kiss them if im interested. I will call them back for the second date if interested and so on. We usually get on pretty well and there have been some I would like to date. I find im the one doing all the calling and organising with very little of them organising to do stuff. I find this a bit annoying because im expecting a little give and take as in they need to organise to do stuff also, i.e. show some interest. They always come along if I invite them out but very little in the opposite direction. This went on for 4 months with one girl. I get tired of it and stop calling.

My question is do I have to play some games here, as in organise a few things and wait for them to start doing stuff. As much as I hate doing it, there seems to be no way round it. Girls seem to take you for granted if you keep calling and taking the initative. ALso I don't ask them really what they are looking for early (are they looking for a boyfriend). I want to wait until I know them a bit more and feel they are interested.
If its any help I live in America, maybe its a different scene here.

Thanks for reading, all advice welcome.

LegacyUser

haha you would LOVE ireland,

have you asked them if they would like to organise something? maybe start inviting them round to your house for dinner movie and bottle of wine and if they want to go out they have to organise something, im a girl and if a guy i like asks me out il go along, but i dont put myself out there for rejection straight away ( i would still text and call though) so the first few times it will mostly be on the guy (or i would text "heading out tonight we'll be in club x if you want to meet up)

i would let them know you are interested but if they dont call you are they really interested? maybe give them your number "really good time would love to do it again call me and we will meet up" and then if they are interested they will call,

SarahSassy

From friends living in the States I grasp that its mainly the man who asks and organises the dates. Not trying to be smart but maybe you should ask someone locally who better knows the customs/ norms.

Nevyn

It depends on the dynamic in the relationship some people are organisers some are not.

lynnsback

Yes. I really think it is a cultural thing. In the US the man is usually the one who instigates contact and girls are coached to not be too eager. If you like a girl I think you just need to be very clear and tell her you want to be exclusive.
Are you Irish?

LegacyUser

Hi again,

Yes I am Irish lynnsback. I think one of the reasons is I havent been very clear of what i am looking for even after a couple of months. In saying that neither have any of the girls, but I guess everything is left up to the man here (asking the girl out, first kiss, asking here out second time etc etc) Sarah I was just about to ask a US girl friend of mine this weekend about the whole situation, thats a good idea. I am beginning to think its up to me to move things on if thats what I want.

The reason I ask now is I met a girl a few weeks ago in the park and had a few dates, kissed all that. She is pretty light on the phone calls, If I call she will always call back and come on a date if I ask her. I get the feeling she is looking to be chased a bit but there is only so long that is going to happen until I expect her to make some effort.

Thanks